Family Worrying?

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Homeboy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 637
   Posted 9/28/2007 3:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello;

I don't know how to ask this question, but really could use some help.

How do you deal with family and/or friends who want to help, but they worry so terribly bad, and you know they are going to worry, which is going to make you worry. By help I mean, give me a ride to the store for groceries, or take me to a get a colon test done. I hope that you can understand what I am trying to ask.

It's either one of two things with family.

1.) I am ok, things are fine.

2.) I am sick, and need an ambulance.(only needed one ambulance my entire life)

With CD, things are usually(almost always) somewhere right in the middle of those two.

I have tried talking to my family(parents) about how much they worry, but it seems to make things MUCH WORSE.
They are the only ones I can really count on for help though, so I don't know how to make the situation better.
And I only ask for help when I truly need it.

Thanks, I really appreciate the responses to this.
CD dx @ 13 (1987)
Prednisone 15mg every other day
Imuran 150mg day
Pain Meds
Vitamins


gachrons
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 4527
   Posted 9/28/2007 4:13 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Homeboy doesn't matter weather your sick or well parents are going to worry it's part of the job I guess .The big thing is to not worry about them they will just have to try to deal with it and parents do .I guess humor helps in situations and I like humor it eases the stress in life .Have you tried it on them? Don't put your health on hold ask when you need help.Just make sure you find time for them other then when you are just sick that might help you feel better.Are you feeling better yet about them?lol gail

boomer2006
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 29
   Posted 9/29/2007 7:23 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi homeboy i can relate i dont  have a car but have my license cant afford to drive. been in the hospital numerous times with pain tests saying that im healthy just nerves docs didntbelieve methought i was putting it on but my mom new i wasnt and she was getting more worried by  the minuet and is relieved that they finnally found the cause (cd). my mom worries continuesly about me and thats to be expected she's my mom you have your mom.

were their babies no  matter how old we are. thank god everyday you have a family to worry about you some people dont and thats very lonely.


Homeboy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 637
   Posted 9/29/2007 7:42 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks you guys.

I just got back from going out to dinner with them, and things went very well.

They seem to really worry more when they don't know what's going on, or when I keep them in the dark, which I tend to do sometimes.

After I talked to them, explained things, and reassured them that I am doing my best, they didn't seem as worried.

Humor worked very well too.

Just making jokes about life in general was great.

tongue
CD dx @ 13 (1987)
Prednisone 15mg every other day
Imuran 150mg day
Pain Meds
Vitamins


raynie_dai
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 9/30/2007 8:41 AM (GMT -7)   
My daughters, my husband, and my parents both hit the internet and did research so of course they are filled with dire and negative information and are expected me to be sliced and diced and then to die at any moment.
I have found that by being open and straight forward about what is going on so they don't think I'm shielding them from anything or hiding information has helped.
Also, I just keep doing my day to day life stuff, make sure I tell them about the good stuff, make sure they understand I am taking care of myself and I have learned that it is the feeling of being powerless to help me that makes them feel so scared so I let them help me, which is very hard for me, I like to be independent, and let them know how much it meant to me when they did help.
I do normal things with them as health allows, go to the zoo, play games, listen to them tell me about their day, etc. and as time has gone on they have become more relaxed about it.
When the bad days, weeks, months, hit I make sure they know what is going on so their imaginations won't run away with them. It seems that I spend a lot of time managing them and calming them down than I do anything else but it actually helps me because it takes my mind off of my issues.
41 year old woman.  Officially diagnosed November 2003 after many misdiagnoses.  Have so far been able to avoid the hospital stays.  Have had to do months of iron treatments but at least I get to go home afterwards. I refuse to let Crohn's define me but sometimes it's easier said than done.


Mar1anneC
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 79
   Posted 10/1/2007 7:58 PM (GMT -7)   
I am glad you were about to joke a little and talk to your parents. The less they know the more they will worry - so try to open up to them. If they understand that there's just alot of those in between days where you could use a little help, but no, you are not checking in to the hospital thank you very much.

My parents worry alot. Sometimes I wish my hubby would worry a bit more, but he' more of a make do with what we got kind of guy and doesn't waste alot of energy worrying.
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