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Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 345
   Posted 10/4/2007 10:25 AM (GMT -6)   

An office manager at Walmart was given the task of hiring an
individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack
of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified.
He deci ded to call the four in and ask them only one question.
Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table
the interviewer asked,
"What is the fastest thing you know of?"
Acknowledging the first man on his right, the man replied,
It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way;
It's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of." 

"That's very good!" replied the interviewer.
"And now you sir?" he asked the second man 

"Hmm. Let me see. A BLINK!
It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened.
A blink of an eye is the fastest thing I can think of."
"Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye, that's very good." 

He then turned to the third man who was contemplating his reply.
"Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the
wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out
across the pasture the light in the barn comes on in less than

an instant.
Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of." 

The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and
thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light", he said.
Turning to Bubba, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed
same question. 

Old Bubba replied, "After hearing the three previous answers,
It's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA."
"WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response.
"Oh I can explain." said Old Bubba. "You see the other day I wasn't
feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but, before I could
I had already crap in my pants."
Old Bubba is now the new greeter at a Walmart near you!!


32 years old. Diagnosed in 2002ish. 
Taking Asacol, Lomotil TID, and on Remicade since 2004. 
Lower Bowel area only, except for the short stint (about 2 weeks) that I had mouth sores.  Also have external/anal fistula and anal/vaginal fistula. 

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2004
Total Posts : 1372
   Posted 10/4/2007 10:57 AM (GMT -6)   
Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Thanks for the laugh this morning. I always knew I was qualified to be a Wal-Mart greeter.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 1146
   Posted 10/4/2007 5:17 PM (GMT -6)   
Co-Moderator Crohn's Disease Forum
Co-Moderator Ulcerative Colitis Forum
Asacol 6/day, Prevacid 2/day, Acidophilus Complex Probiotics, Green Tea Extract, Flax Oil
Help support Healingwell!!!

Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 86
   Posted 10/4/2007 5:23 PM (GMT -6)   

Good one! :-)
Bipolar disorder
Appendectomy Nov '01
Dx Chron's summer '05
Yay Humira!, Vicodin as needed, Neurontin, Wellbutrin XL, Asacol 12pills/day, Ambien, Multivitamin

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new
discoveries, is not "Eureka!" (I found it!) but "That's funny ..."
-- Isaac Asimov

potty pooper
Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 375
   Posted 10/4/2007 8:27 PM (GMT -6)   
ha ha!! Thanks for the laugh. Preparing for my colonscopy tomorrow and that laugh really came at the right time.
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