Thank you guys so much for your advices and good ideas. I really needed to hear that today.
Yesterday I saw my auntie in the kitchen in the morning and she said something like "You like wasting money. I would never throw away money like that." Just out of the blue. After we just spoke the day before why I was dropping. Like I decided to wake up one day, take a full load and drop it becase I want to waste money. I went in my room and was so upset I shook but I bit my tongue. Last night, I dropped one class and am keeping the other two because there is no way that I would be able to live through the next 3 months hearing THAT every day.
When she asked me where I was going later in the day I said: "I'm going to the library to study. I didn't drop all my classes for the quarter because I don't want to waste money. God forbid that my health is important. I am so tired of people thinking I am not sick because you don't see anything because it is inside of me. Maybe when I wind up in the hospital AGAIN you guys will believe that I'm not lying." and then I left and cried.
Sometimes I feel so alone because no one in my circle has ever had an autoimmune disorder and hearing from you guys makes me feel like I'm not some alien. =0) I had someone call me up and tell me that this fatigue and feeling sick is all in my head and I just need to buck up. Shoot with friends and family like this, who needs enemies?
I will look into the disability grants and work on trying to keep a good outlook. Also trying something to learn how to meditate or do yoga to relax my mind might help me. I haven't been sleeping well in the past week. so angry--and that probably isn't helping me heal either. =0)