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angelang40
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 160
   Posted 11/24/2007 7:56 AM (GMT -7)   
sad    sad sad sad sad sad sad
Hi everyone
well today im litterally in shock cant stop crying my partner came up yesterday for my birthday and went home today we have decided to call it a day i guess he cant cope with my disease i feel as though ive lost my right arm i dont think its sank in yet all he said was i cant cope anymore i suppose the saying goes "its better to have loved and lost than never to of loved at all"
we have been through a lot in the past 4 years i really though i was going to be with him the rest of my life shows how wrong you can be.
this disease is not a life!!!!!!!!how can you truly expect your partner to live with you through all this its not just us who suffers its your family and friends as well!!!!!!!!!when i sit back and think now its for the best sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad cant think straight right now all i know is i have to keep going on with life and not let myself get stressed out.
i got my metho yesterday evening and im not feeling to good today i can imagine how he feels seeing your partner in pjs all the time you come up it must be depressing all i said to him before he left me was just take care and i hope you do find somebody else that you can truly be with happy with!!!!! sad when all the time i was saying it i never meant any of it its just not meant to be for us!people are never going to understand this crohns disease hell i dont even understand it myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! will i ever sad sad

dustspeck
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 565
   Posted 11/24/2007 8:18 AM (GMT -7)   
so sorry to hear about your heartbreak. i went through a break up last month, he was not able to deal with my disease either. i am still new to this and trying all kinds of meds to try and stop my symptoms and we weren't together quite as long as you and your partner (we were together for a year and half) but it still hurt a lot that someone wouldn't stick by because i am going through a rough time right now. BUT, better to have found out now than down the road.

stay strong and please take care. *hugs*
.: stephanie :.
32 y/o female diagnosed 8/8/7 with crohn's of the terminal ileum w/ stricture/scarring
15mgs prednisone (getting there!), 25mgs 6mp, 4000mg pentasa, vicodin for pain & boat load of other drugs for sleep and anxiety!


ChristinaG
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 113
   Posted 11/24/2007 9:40 AM (GMT -7)   
(((Hugs))) I am so sorry to hear about your break up. Heart break is the worst pain, because only time can heal it. We have all been throuhg it, but somehow it never gets any easier.Hang in there!
Christina
"At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want." -Lao Tzu


teddybearweiser
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2004
Total Posts : 3042
   Posted 11/24/2007 12:45 PM (GMT -7)   
Hugs, I am sorry to to hear about your break up. I was married and when I was diagnosed with Crohn's
and had surgery. My ex-wife could not handle my illiness. So I have stayed single because when ppl
find out about my illness they don't want anything to do with me. I have growen much stronger from this illiness. You will find somebody whom can love you with your illness and can deal with when your not feeling well.
teddybear
Hi, I am teddybearweiser, I am a male.
I was diagnosed with crohns disease when i was admitted to the hospital
in 1992, in Jan of 1993 I was back in the hospital for surgery for my crohns. I had part of my right colon resectioned with ilecolonstomy.
 My GI doctor has me on Asacol, Dicyclomine,Imuran,Celebrex and Remicade. B-12 injection once a month.
My Internest doctor has me on Lisnopril-HTCZ and Folic Acid. Diagnosed
with Osteoarthritis July 2007
 


gemini kiwi
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1136
   Posted 11/24/2007 1:18 PM (GMT -7)   
That's tough for you, and on your birthday as well. So sorry to hear this, you really have to wonder about people that cannot handle illness's, everyone becomes unwell some time in their life with the common cold, Flu or something more serious. You have to wonder what they expect from other people.
sending you a virtual hug, look after yourself.
Tess

gachrons
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 4527
   Posted 11/24/2007 1:29 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi I am sorry to hear things aren't going so well for you hope you have family or friends that will help you threw this. We are here for you when you need to talk. Chances are you will find something to help your CD . I know it isn't easy for you. I have been single for many years and have gotten by. Hoping you will find someone in time and we cain't help be sick at times. I know your strength will get you threw this . Keep in touch .lol gail

Matthew
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2004
Total Posts : 3932
   Posted 11/24/2007 2:11 PM (GMT -7)   
Condolences. Many people cannot deal with issues like this. Heck, I have the DD & find it hard to deal with, or even really talk about ( outside of HW, of course..).
You cannot force anyone either..

Matthew

thenay
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2006
Total Posts : 167
   Posted 11/24/2007 2:16 PM (GMT -7)   
Sorry to hear that, and 4yrs too, wow! Well it's his loss in the end, what a shame to break up over this. It's not easy for us at times and everyone has hard times. I know it's hard for our bf/gfs to watch us in pain, and hearing us complain but we can't help it. Feel better and eventually you'll find someone who will love you no matter what, that's what love really is anyways, keep in touch :)
Male DX with CD May 2006 @ age 22, Colonoscopy and SBT
Taking Prednisone 17.5mg (tapering), Imuran 75mg (eventually 150mg I was told), Atenolol 25mg for fast heartbeat and Restoril 30mg for the sleepless nights (thanks Pred!)


curley
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 4305
   Posted 11/24/2007 3:35 PM (GMT -7)   
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<HAPPY BIRTHDAY>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I am so sorry that you are having to go through this I know what you are going through I have been through the same thing my self.Teddybear and Thenay is right it will get better and when the time is right you will meet some one that will love you for you and your crohns.So please hang in there and if you ever want to talk please e-mail me any time.You can find my E-mail by clicking on my name to the left.Just know that we are all here for you.
Curley
.........
 


angelang40
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 160
   Posted 11/24/2007 4:15 PM (GMT -7)   
sad  Hi all
Many thanks for the birthday wishes and that shoulder to lean on today i just find this so hard to believe its the people that cant deal with our situation  thats got the problem god when they complain about  a headache or a sore stomach i could scream literally try coping with what we have to tolerate every day of our lives the appointments hospitals injections cocktails of meds it never ends for us a least they dont have to worry what lies ahead for them!!!!!they can eat whatever they want and not be rushed to the nearest a@e like many of us on this forum how can people be so selfish ive been asking for myself allday!!!!!!
Maybe this is the best thing that could of happened to me its me that has the crohns not him hes got his health i havent as the saying goes you dont realise how much something until its gone im not talking about my partner im talking about your quality of life some people just dont appreciate what theyve got.
im sorry for the moaning sad im really glad i found this forum at least we all understand what the other person goes through sad
i dont smoke or drink i just might now to retain my sanity lol

FitzyK23
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 4219
   Posted 11/24/2007 4:43 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I truly will never understand what kind of jerks can't handle someone's illness. I have been blessed to have a husband, family, and friends that have been more than supportive. Once you find something that works for you I hope that it will get you feeling well enough to start enjoying life. Then hopefully you will meet someone worthwhile, that won't bolt when the going gets tough. (Hugs)
26 Year old married female.  Diagnosed w/ CD 3 years ago, IBS for over 10 years before that, which was probably the CD.  Currently on Pentasa 4 pills/4x day, hysociamine prn, nexium, and ortho evra.  Good times!!!
 
 


Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 11/24/2007 5:53 PM (GMT -7)   
I am so sorry that you are going thru this heartache.  My first husband couldn't handle my sickness either and left.  I just wanted to tell you that I know there is someone out there who will love you for you, Crohns and all.  I am now married to a wonderful man who takes great care of me and loves me even thru my illness.  I pray God brings you peace and when the time is right a new and better person for you to love.  (((BIG HUGS))).
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 32 years.  Currently on Asacol, Prilosec 60 mg, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain and Calcium.  Resections in 2002 and 2005.  Recently diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and doing tests to see if I have Inflammatory Arthritis or AS.


MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 11/24/2007 6:01 PM (GMT -7)   
((((((((((((((((((Angelang40))))))))))))))))
I am so sorry this is happening to you. I am in medical family therapy partly for this reason. Dealing with illness is not easy, especially when you are in a relationship. Because everyone will eventually have to deal with illness if they live long enough. It shows a lack of strenght on your partners side, not yours.
Take care,
Navy
Forum Moderator 
We will find a way, or make one.-Hannibal (crossing the Alps in the 15th Century on war elephants) 
Make sure your suffering has meaning...


gachrons
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 4527
   Posted 11/25/2007 7:24 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi You"ll get your sanity back hope your day is better today. Not a lot we can do sometimes about what others think so we just gotta keep our own thoughts going on a good track I guess as best we can. Try putting your thoughts on something else reading ,movies or maybe Christmas cleaning. I went with my teen yesterday and we found a Christ. tree so when it is time we just need to chop it down. Refocus on better things in life and you"ll get threw this. lol gail

angelang40
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 160
   Posted 11/25/2007 10:00 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi cronnies
              hope you are all doing ok :-) well never slept at all last night and my stomachs doing 4000 resolutions a minute and appetites gone again just when im doing well with my weight its away to go sub zero again god only knows what hes thinking men huh!!!!!!!! not offence to the men on here :-)
received call last night "ang i dont know what im thinking i realise now what i said and done was so wrong your my life i hate seeing you ill"
so im not quite sure where we go from here maybe we just need that break we have been through a lot this year havent we all on here i swear to god men go through the menopause lol again dont swear at me please :-) .If i have to deal with it then why cant he not im so confused i need another holiday ive just returned lol
 
 
once again many thanks for your kind wishes :-) :-) :-)

MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 11/25/2007 11:45 AM (GMT -7)   
umm therapy sounds like it might be good for both of you.

I wonder what people think when they vow in sickness and in health.
Forum Moderator 
We will find a way, or make one.-Hannibal (crossing the Alps in the 15th Century on war elephants) 
Make sure your suffering has meaning...


gachrons
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 4527
   Posted 11/25/2007 8:02 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Sounds like he cares about you but he has to be able to see it as something that has to be dealt with at times .In other words I guess it is something that you get past the not so good days and get to enjoy the ones that are good. Every day has some good in it and he should know that because one is sick does not mean there isn't some good in a day.,because some days are healing days .Maybe you can just call them healing days we do get over them and life is worth living every day and more so when it is shared with someone you love. lol gail

ArtsyChick
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 11/25/2007 9:39 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I was engaged and we broke up in may. I really don't think he could deal with my being sick. he also wasn't supportive AT ALL, so I don't really miss the relationship anymore. But I was horrible when we broke up. I felt like a part of me had been ripped away. and I was really sick with my crohn's and that did not help at all. the emotions stirred up the crohn's and it was rough for awhile. But it gets better. I'm be praying that you find a good support system that can build you up during this difficult time.

curley
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 4305
   Posted 11/26/2007 6:52 PM (GMT -7)   
Angelang hi,please be sorry for pouring your heart out it does us all good from time to time.This comeing May I will be devorced three years and I have not went out on a date and its not because I have not been asked but I felt that I needed this time for my self I had a lot of issues that I needed to work on.As bad as I was hurt I look back on it now and in the long run he did my a favore.You know that old saying what goes around comes around well there will be a time when my ex has something nto happen to him and with whom he is with will do him that same way.Then only thin will he understand.But please don't say your sorry because that is what we are here for to talk listen take advice and give it.
Curley
.........
 


smwik
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 11/26/2007 11:12 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Angelang, Happy Belated Birthday!! I have read your post and some other responses and I am sorry for what has happened to you recently. This seems like a hard time for you, but it looks like you have a lot of people that really do care about whats going on. I am a strong believer in that everything happens for a reason, and he just was not the one. If he can not accept and love you for who you are or what disease you have then he is not worth it, nor your time. Be strong and patient, you will find someone who will accept everything that you have to offer. I have to admit that I do not have Corhns disease, but I have been "seeing" someone who does have it. I am trying to be as supportive and understanding as I can, thats why I am on here trying to learn more about it. I have read about this disease online, but I figured that I can learn more from reading people's feelings and emotions about this disease. Within the past year he was engaged to a girl that I guess could not accept him with this disease because he was recently diganosed with it. They broke up the engagement and 8 months later he found me. He was very unsure, I feel, to tell me that he has it, but I really do not care. I do not judge him that he has this disease, but i am concerned that he does not want me around because he never feels well . . .(it makes me feel bad =( because i want to be around) . .He went through what you are going through now, i think, and now I am here and I think that I am asking you for advice back of how I should act. I hope that you are not to caught up with this guy because he is deff not worth it, life goes on...and remember there is always someone who is better....=) email me and we can chat....I need advice from the other side of a relationship.....here is my e-mail get to me if you can smwik@buffalo.edu

pb4
Elite Member


Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 20576
   Posted 11/27/2007 9:24 AM (GMT -7)   
angelang40 :)

A very happy birthday to you and condolences on what you're going through with the break up, the timing obviously could not be worse...(((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))).....but there is hope, true not everyone can deal with their partners IBD but there are many who can...hubby and I met when we were teens and pretty much have been together ever since...I didn't get CD until after we had our first child (a yr and a half after we had her) so I was 23 going on 24 when I got sick and it certainly throws a wrench into any relationship but his true love for me seems to be stronger than the hardship of this DD...it's simply a matter of finding the right person, and the right person is out there for everyone, so keep your chin up because things will get better abd you will be a stronger person for every hardship you go through.

:)
My bum is broken....there's a big crack down the middle of it!  LOL  :)


angelang40
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 160
   Posted 11/27/2007 2:06 PM (GMT -7)   
:-)  hi pb
well be incontact with him since sunday but we usually text and call each other everyday anyway so thats nothing new i think he realised what he said to me when he got home on sunday everything he has in his house i put there!!!!!!!!!!!
i guess we all get the blues and when im depressed  everyone around us gets depressed as well it cant be easy watching the ones you love in pain!!!!!!!!
specially when the disease is incurable and its a chronic disease at that!!!!!
when im well i travel down to his but i have not been able to do that for a few months at least when uve been together for 4 years and you are apart it does affect your mood we hate being apart from each other but he has his job down there and ive got kelly my daughter up here who has got special needs hes realised now what it would mean to him if he lost me hmmmmmmmm he must of woke up and smelt the coffee lol. :-)
as for myself i take one day at a time i dont plan ahead ever as you all know the disease is unpredictable so for now we are back together like we have always been now he wants to buy me an engagment ring for xmas something ill have to think long and hard about as ive been married 2x.Now im looking forward to xmas yeah yeah yeah as its going to be the same as its been for the past 4 years my partner up here with his son and my daughter my mum and myself all things going well maybe he just needed to blow a fuse so to speak but truly thanks for your support at the weekendxxxxxxxxxx

pb4
Elite Member


Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 20576
   Posted 11/27/2007 5:09 PM (GMT -7)   
Best of luck to you angelang40, I hope all works out for you, every relationship has their ups and downs, it's what we learn from them that's important so we don't keep repeating mistakes and so we can find more harmony than not.

:)
My bum is broken....there's a big crack down the middle of it!  LOL  :)

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