just getting some stuff off my chest

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mama2jmt
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 301
   Posted 12/6/2007 10:10 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi all
 
I am feeling alot of stress these days that isn't caused by my health issues,but needless to say,it's sending my tummy into a turmoil.I thought that getting it out might help some.
 
A few months back I did a post about my daughter having to see a neurologist for being delayed in her gross motor skills.Well,she wasn't very cooperative the first go around w/the tests & tomorrow we go for another try w/the MRI,but this time w/anestesia.I am sure that all will be fine,but I am still incredibily nervous.
 
My great grandma had a massive heart attack one week ago today & is still in critical condition.She is 90 years old & we all know that her time is limited anyways,but I have been on pins & needles every time the phone rings.I am just so sad because she is in Ohio & I am in NC & am not able to be there w/her at this time.
 
Also,this past august,I ended a 12 year relationship w/my daughters father.He is a great dad & a really nice guy,we just aren't very compatible & neither one of us is happy,but of course,he doesn't want to see things the way I do.It took me many,many months to work up the nerve to tell him,& after losing 18 pounds in less than 2 weeks from being totally stressed out,I knew that it was time.Things have been hard for me because most all of our family & friends have made me out to be the bad guy,even though they don't know all the reasons behind my actions.Anyways,despite all the nonsupportive advice that I have recieved,I still feel like I made the right decision,& I plan on sticking to my guns.I just don't see how I can provide a happy home for my child if I am miserable about being w/her dad.
 
Ok,last but not least,I made a new friend that lives really,really far away from me.There are some mixed signals & alot of mixed feelings on my part,& being an extremely anxious person has not helped my confusion.I know that I am setting myself up for a major  disappointment,but I just can't help myself.I really admire & respect this person as a friend & I don't want to scare him away.
 
So,thanks to everyone who took the time to read my tales of woe.I do feel a little better after typing all this out!


~Jennifer~
Official Crohns DX-march 2004.Pentasa 4000mg,B12,Probiotics
         1 resection
Cardiomyopathy DX-may 2004.Coreg,Altace,Digitek,Lasix,Potassium,very low-sodium diet
          


mindyk81
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 54
   Posted 12/6/2007 11:39 AM (GMT -7)   

I've read in so many books that stress doesn't affect flares. I bother to disagree. I can count that every flare that I've had has come on after a period of high stress levels. My doctor realizes this, and he has often fussed at me for stressing so much.

I feel so blessed to have found my husband. He is very sympathetic about my disease and helps out every way that he can. I was at my healthiest point right when I met him, and I was given a few really great years. Then, I got pregnant, and I've been flaring on and off since. My daughter is 19 months old and is very active. I am usually worn out from my days spent running after her and trying to deal with her tantrums!

I went through several bad relationships prior to meeting my hubby, and I can tell you that I remained sick 24/7 through all of them. I know it was hard for you to decide to end the relationship, but believe me, in the long run, your health and the ability to care for your daughter is the most important thing. You deserve someone who will step up to the plate and take charge when you are too sick to care for yourself. The last thing you need is a partner who makes things worse.

As far as your family, they can't begin to understand what you go through. There's no way that I can really put into words what the pain feels like. I wouldn't worry about them.

Also, as far as the new "friend", just be careful. You just ended a relationship, and I would just not stress about this right now. Just try to relax and accept that whatever happens is fine with you. Just take it one day at a time. Rushing into anything is probably not a good idea right now. Take care of your health first. I'm not saying that you shouldn't pursue anything; I'm just saying to take your time. That's usually when the good stuff happens!

 

 


Diagnosed with Crohn's in 1995.
Have used Prednisone, Flagyl, and Pentasa in the past.
Now on Imuran/Prednisone - waiting to start Humira.
One stricture in distal ileum.
No surgeries yet.


mama2jmt
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 301
   Posted 12/6/2007 12:41 PM (GMT -7)   
hi mindy,thanks for your kind words & encouragement.

just to clarify things,my ex,my family & friends are all very supportive when it comes to my health,just not about the breakup.Also,my new "friend" is really just a friend.Our geographical locations pretty much sqaush any chance for anything more.I'm just really disapointed in myself for being so vulnerable & somewhat overbearing.
~Jennifer~
Official Crohns DX-march 2004.Pentasa 4000mg,B12,Probiotics
         1 resection
Cardiomyopathy DX-may 2004.Coreg,Altace,Digitek,Lasix,Potassium,very low-sodium diet
          


Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 12/6/2007 2:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Jennifer, hope all goes well with your little one tomorrow. I know that when I get really stressed I instantly get D and nausea. I now take 1/2 Valium and some nausea meds when those times hit and it really helps.

I would like to also give you some post divorce advice. Please do not get involved with anyone just yet. You were in a very long relationship and it really takes time to heal. You have alot of baggage to let go of. Even though this divorce was your choice, they say its best to wait at least 1 year to 18 mos before you start dating again. Believe me I learned this the hard way. Its good to take your time and first see that you don't need someone else to be happy in this life. When the time is right you will know. I did that and found my husband and believe me the wait was really worth it.

Don't be so hard on yourself. We are all very sensitive to stress and I pray that you find some peace in your life. (((BIG HUGS)))

God Bless,
Gail *Nanners*
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 32 years.  Currently on Asacol, Prilosec 60 mg, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain and Calcium.  Resections in 2002 and 2005.  Recently diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and doing tests to see if I have Inflammatory Arthritis or AS.


gachrons
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 4527
   Posted 12/6/2007 3:28 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Jenn Sorry to hear you are having a little unsettled times but things have a way of improving. Hope your daughter makes out good. I had mine in to the Dr. today and they found some silicone from an ear plug in her ear,which was removed, and infection in the other ear so there seems to be always something with kids. You are lucky that she has a good Dad and that makes a difference when parents separate. The child needs to know that she still has 2 parents who will be there for her . I like the others think that it takes time to get the mind back on track after a relationship break. I guess like you said your Grandma lived a long life and that does make it easier then loosing someone who has not had a full life. Hope things get better for you and glad you are able to get some support here. I try to get my teen involved in alot of stuff at Xmas so this is a great time for bonding and doing lots of good things. lol gail

karendee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 1642
   Posted 12/6/2007 3:38 PM (GMT -7)   
Jennifer, I hope everything turns for the better for you soon... just try to relax and let that new relationship take its course!
 
I too believe stress makes CD worse and don't care what books say. I was doing very well and when my Dad died in October I was miserable. I found myself in tremendous pain in my gut. I was doing so well right before. I was having D and cramping and all kinds of CD symptoms. Once I started to relax and calm down I seemed to get a little better (all the funeral planning was difficult and exhausting)
 
take care of yourself and don't let others second guess your decision, you know what is best for you and your daughter. I would not hesitate telling people that say anything negative toward your decision to leave her father.
 
good luck!
Karen

 ...

Karen (Karendee)

Diagnosed w/ Crohn’s Disease  March 2007 On 150mg Azathioprine (generic Imuran), Pentasa, & Entocort (take zofran for nausea now)

Diagnosed w/  Fibromyalgia May 2007 also on Soma

Also have Arthritis, and feel like I am falling apart sometimes...


Glad Bag
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 699
   Posted 12/7/2007 3:11 PM (GMT -7)   
Sorry about your grandma..mama2jasmine

Time is on your side....geography isn't. At least you have found a new friend, if nothing else. More importantly, you have decided to take control of your life and that is paramount. Things will be better now that you can focus on yourself. I am still single, over a year later, but I am ten times happier now that i am done with a relationship that was going nowhere.

Good luck with Jasmine...

Talk to you sooner than later - Nat eyes eyes tongue
"The things that make us feel so abnormal, are actually the things that make us all the same" - from PostSecret: Extraordinary Confessions from Ordinary Lives - by Frank Warren


mama2jmt
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 301
   Posted 12/10/2007 8:06 AM (GMT -7)   

Thank you ladies for all your support!!!

Well,we made it through the MRI, & today we go back down to Asheville for the EEG tomorrow morning.I have to pull an all nighter tonight because Jasmine has to be sleep deprived for 8 hours before the test.It sure would be easier for me to stay up if I didn't have to fight her to stay up & if we didn't have to be super quiet so my lil bro & his wife can get thier sleeep.And I sure hope that she cooperates,because I am getting to old  to do this multiple times...hehe.

Nat, thanks for putting your 2 cents in.Time may be on my side for now,& lord knows that I have been forced to learn much patience these past 5 months...lol.I feel pretty certain that if there is enough chemistry,the geography issues will work itself out.In the meantime,I will keep cool & work on myself. tongue  BTW,were u rolling your eyes at me eyes ....hehe


~Jennifer~
Official Crohns DX-march 2004.Pentasa 4000mg,B12,Probiotics
         1 resection
Cardiomyopathy DX-may 2004.Coreg,Altace,Digitek,Lasix,Potassium,very low-sodium diet
          


mama2jmt
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 301
   Posted 12/14/2007 9:22 AM (GMT -7)   
hi everyone....just wanted to let ya'll know that we are finished w/the testing on my daughter for a neurological disorder.I also got the results back & they were all inconclusive.

I was recommended to take her to a geneticist.I don't really know much about genetic testing,but I do know that a family medical history is needed,which we have a huge lack of on both paternal sides.I also don't understand how she can be genetically screened when no one has any idea of what genetic conditions to screen her for.I am hoping that her regular pediatrician will be able to give me a better idea if this is even possible.

My great grandmother has had some improvement & is still hanging in there.She was released from the hospital the other day,but sadly had to be put into assisted living for around the clock medical care.She is not happy about this at all,but we all know that it is in her best interest.

I hope that everyone is having a good day :)
~Jennifer~
Official Crohns DX-march 2004.Pentasa 4000mg,B12,Probiotics
         1 resection
Cardiomyopathy DX-may 2004.Coreg,Altace,Digitek,Lasix,Potassium,very low-sodium diet
          


FitzyK23
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 4219
   Posted 12/14/2007 10:19 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey Jennifer,

Glad you are keeping on. I know all about the assisted living transition. My grandmother who is 95 just moved in to one. It is extremely complicated because she has a life estate in a split house so she has her own apartment upstairs. Unfortunatly my aunt and uncle (her daughter) that live downstairs no longer want to care for her. I know it is tough but she really only needed meds and meals and could do the rest herself. However, rather than telling her that they made her life miserable and tried to get her to want to leave. She can't live all by herself and needs at least someone checking in on her. We got her home health care but unfortunatly she is terribly racist and the home health worker was of a minority race. As much as I despise racism I understand she grew up in different times and at 95 there is nothing I can do to change her. So after a seizure (according to the doc potentially brought on by the emotional distress of her darling daughter downstairs) she went to a nursing home temporarily and was discharged to a beautiful fancy schmancy assisted living. But she is miserable. And she wants to be home. And she has poor memory and doesn't remember how horrible things were at home. And her daughter still visits her and acts like she is an angel, meanwhile my dad is made out to be the bad guy for putting her in assisted living. He doesnt want to cause trouble so he keeps his mouth shut. It is so sad how families tear apart as people age. Anyway, I went off on a tangent. Glad things are looking up.
26 Year old married female.  Diagnosed w/ CD 3 years ago, IBS for over 10 years before that, which was probably the CD.  Currently on Pentasa 4 pills/4x day, hysociamine prn, nexium, and ortho evra.  Good times!!!
 
 


mama2jmt
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 301
   Posted 12/14/2007 3:04 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Fitzy, thanks for your reply & I'm really sorry to hear about your grandmother.I hope that both of our grandmas get used to their new living arrangements.Maybe they will make lots of new friends & learn to be happy there.

I hope that you are having a good day,take care :)
~Jennifer~
Official Crohns DX-march 2004.Pentasa 4000mg,B12,Probiotics
         1 resection
Cardiomyopathy DX-may 2004.Coreg,Altace,Digitek,Lasix,Potassium,very low-sodium diet
          

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