Hi there Casey.
I can't say I understand fully what you're going through regarding scars. I do have 2 pretty standing out scars. The one where my portacath was inserted on my chest wall, which is suprisingly noticible 5 years later as I went through some sort of strange healing process, meaning the scar is still red. I had a muscle biopsy done on my right leg 2 years ago, which has got through the same strange healing process, and is brown all along the scar, you can even see where the stiches were still.
However the reason I say I can't fully understand your frustration, is because my scars do not bother me in the slightest. The only time I am ever consious about
covering up, is when my portacath is accessed, and even then, I'm not bothered about
people seeing the dressing, it's more the line tends to creep "normal" people out when they see it protuding.
None of these things stop me having any sort of relationships or anything with people though. I'm married and my husband understands, and so do most other people. Even if I was in a new relationship, I wouldn't exactly be shy.
I guess though, I can understand to some extent howit must feel for other people with CF. It's just never worried me.
Finding a none smoking resterant I can agree with you on, it is such a pain. Smokers in general tend to wind me up so much, even friends who are smokers. We struggle for breath every day because of things we can't stop or control. Smokers tend to be a law unto themselves-that they have the right to smoke wherever they like,and so what if that means other peoples human rights are destroyed. We're lucky here in the UK, pretty much everywhere has gone smoke free. You still get some inconsiderate pratt, who doesn't really care and just lights up wherever they are, no matter who is around them, in hope they don't get caught. But, it does mean there is no longer the issue of finding out in advance which resterants/pubs are none-smoking.
CF I guess can bug me a lot sometimes. But I think other peoples arrogance bugs me more. I do get very very angry though at times, because it is a sucky illness, and I would just like a break a bit more often than I get it.
Sorry I've rambled on and ranted a bit, but I hope I've helped you feel you're not alone, and never will be.
Hope you're will right now!
Moderator of the Cystic Fibrosis Forums
Diagnosed with: Cystic Fibrosis, Asthma, ABPA, Clinical Depression, Mild Liver Cirrohsis, Mild Osteopenia, Erythema Nodosum. Waiting for final diagnosis on Muscular Dystrophy type symptoms.
Medication: Creon 10,000, Vitamins A,D+E, Serevent, Salbutamol, Paracetamol, Tramadol, Nefopam, Ursodeoxycholic Acid, Trazodone, Slow-Sodium, Azithromycin, Metachlopromide, Omeprazole, Tobi Ineb, Fresubin Liquid Feed, Skandishakes. I use PEP device as my physio.
Had a Port-a-cath fitted on chest wall since Nov 04
Sometimes, I feel that I should go and play with the thunder - then I get scared and run away.