So I'm being silly, I'm daring to hope again, and putting the teeniest bit of faith back in the hospital (usually has consequences, but I mean real teeny amounts this time lol.)
Having a child has been my dream, since being a kid, I've always known that is what I wanted. I started trying to conceive at 17, and have been trying since (nearly 7 years!!) I did see a Gynae at age 18, but they were very negative about whether CF patients should have kids (not a view I feel he should have aired, especially when he also admitted he didn't know much about CF). He was Russian too, and his accent was very difficult to understand, and he didn't understand me overly greatly either. Anyway, so at 18 I went away disheartened, but figured I'd keep trying on my own (well, with Paul aswell obviously, I know miracles don't happen that easily). I get worried each year, as my lung function drops about 10% every year. I figure I've got about 2 years left before I'll have to give up. So, I am excited about this appointment, but I'm also very scared what is going to happen if they mess me about again. They have helped others with CF on my unit, they've helped people iller than myself, so it can be done. But it's me, I just have the worst luck ever.
I've been on an unsteady road with my depression this last few years. I can't stand the thought of being told no again. Being told yes, will make the happiest person in the world. The worry of how I will cope having a child, doesn't come into it. I look after my nephews, and when I'm playing with them I get a burst of strength and energy and joy really. Ok, so I'm also the aunt who gets copied/greeted with a cough (oldest can't speak to good, and picked it up early lol), but that doesn't change anything.
I guess I just needed to get this down I think. I see I counselor, a psychiatrist and a psychologist. My counselor is the most understanding and easy to talk to, but I still can't find a way to explain all this panic I'm feeling right now and excitement too of course, though I am trying to contain this, I don't want to fully crash from way high up if it all goes pear shaped.
I know other with CF have had kids, and I know they have probably had all this worry and stuff to. (though hopefully they've at least been able to have a bit more faith than me:P).
I'm so good at talking myself round, setting myself up for failure, it happens a lot. I guess I should be happy though, that a move is been made again. I'm even on Folic Acid now!!!!
So yeah, enough about me, discuss pregnancy here. Your thoughts on it. Even if you're a bloke, do you want/have kids? How has it impacted your life/your health?
I like babies lol, tell me good stuff too, I like good stuff. :)
Moderator of the Cystic Fibrosis Forums
Diagnosed with: Cystic Fibrosis, Asthma, ABPA, Clinical Depression, Mild Liver Cirrohsis, Mild Osteopenia, Erythema Nodosum. Waiting for final diagnosis on Muscular Dystrophy type symptoms.
Medication: Creon 10,000, Vitamins A,D+E, Salbutamol, Paracetamol, Tramadol, Nefopam, Ursodeoxycholic Acid, Trazodone, Slow-Sodium, Azithromycin, Metachlopromide, Omeprazole, Tobi Ineb, Folic Acid. I use PEP device as my physio. Had a Port-a-cath fitted on chest wall since Nov 04
Sometimes, I feel that I should go and play with the thunder - then I get scared and run away.I'm from the UK!!!!! If anything I say makes no sense to you, let me know so I know how not to be so English.