hello everyone, my name is olivia i am 18 w. cf i was diagnosed at 12 yrs old. i have posted on here before, but its been awhile. i sit here and reda some amazing stories, and think to myself wow, we have some brave people out there. yes i would love to have some people to chat with about cf. but i recently lost a friend of mine to cf and i went to her funeral and i am afraid of doing that again. i do have another friend with cf also. he is one of my best friends and is 21, him and i r in great with r health, but i am just so scared of getting close to another person and losing them once again. its a scary thought, when they sit you down in that room and tell you your fate. i am usually a very strong person and i am the one to think positive, but lately i feel so far down. my pfts are going up one minute and down the next. my highest that i have known i have been was 98 i felt as if i was on top of the world with that, but soon after i got sick and now im down to 79 i know thats a great number and im sure there are a bunch of people lower then me and on the transplant list, but i still get sad and frusterated too. if anyone has any incouraging words for me... please help... thanks all and hope i didnt offend anyone.