Hi everyone!!! I hope you are all doing relatively well, as well as you can be that is. I'm basically new here and am just thrilled that this board exhists. It's been a comfort even though I don't post much. I'm just relieved to know that I'm not the only one out there, not like I ever thought I was, but I'm glad to read your stories, and know there are others out there who suffer from this as well.
Well I have been depressed off and on for three years, and it's been a steady stream of it since May of 2006. I was in a very abusive relationship, me being the one who tried to carry all the burden on my shoulders and taking the blame for everything, even the break up.
Now that I know it just wasn't meant to be and I'm lucky to be out of a potentially dangerous situation, I'm still not well. I moved home a year ago, at 33 and I'll soon be 35 and I'm terribly lonely and scared at times that I'll never come out of it. My therapist thinks I'll be fine, but I have to do the work. It's grueling work to say the least. I'm trying to get back into school and take this nine month course in medical assisting, but I'm shy 2,700!!! I'm not going to let that amount keep me from bettering my life. The funny thing is my body is so intune with my mind that I have a new stress indicator, HIVES AND ITCHING!!! Another pill to relieve that. I go from being happy to bursting into tears for no good reason and I am so sick of it!!! I had a psychiatrist meeting yesterday after my regular therpay session and she increased my Cymbalta to 90 mil from 60. She said I should see some changes very soon. I hope so 'cause this is really getting tiresome. At least I am eating and showering everyday when before I was not.
I guess what I am saying or trying to say or ask rather, is for those of you who are in recovery, how did you do it? Eventually I do not want to take any pills and manage this by way of diet and exercising. However at the moment I am desperate to get better and will do anything I can to achieve somewhat of a normal mind set that lasts for more than a day or two. It's stressful living at home, and I ache for the independence I once had for so many years prior to this delve into the darkness. I know that once I am strong enough and stable, things will be sunny and all that. I just need a good book to rad that I can mark up and go back to as reference. My own private menatl bible if you will.
It's winter and the snow is knee deep here in New England. What's a depressed person to do when the skies are grey and my mind is too? Thankfully I still find joy in music and look forward to Saturday nights with Prarie home companion...anyone want to come over for tea and cookies and hang with me? I need live friends.
If any of this makes sence it's just a vent and well, hopefully someone will have some suggestions on reading material.