Hi there L&L,
I can relate to what you are saying. I had an affair for many years and my late husband never found out. He was mean to me too. Kept me under his thumb like a tack. I loved the guy too and I know that he loved me but he had kids all over the place and finally remarried his first wife, it was a strategic move for a financial break from child support. But I know he loved his kids. If he would have been with me he would have had to pay child support out of the you know what. Basically the point I am trying to get accross is people can love more than one person. But the other woman, aka you, are always going to be last. I am sorry to say that but it is true, especially if there are children involved.
After my husband died of cancer, we never did hook up again. I met somebody else eventually and kind of forgot about the guy. So life does go on and people change. Just be glad that you didn't get caught, this might be something that was meant to be for a while so that you would feel good about yourself. Who knows. I know one thing, don't let yourself feel guilty for haveing someone be good to you and show you love, you probably needed that. But please be careful, you don't know what your husband would do and now that he is being nice to you,(and I hope he sincerely is) maybe you will fall back in love with him.
These temporary affairs are what they are, temporary. You know that the man loves his wife and that is that. I am sure he loves you to but isn't going to leave his wife. So please don't think badly of yourself, just store it away with other good memories.
I wish you the best,
There is something comforting about baring your soul to the members of Healing Well and still being able to be anonymous. I hope you keep posting and I wish you peace as we move into the New Year.
I think you need to do what is best for yourself as you are obviously getting distressed by the situation. My advice would be to make a choice who you want to be with and let the truth set you free. Secrets fester away at the back of your mind and cause all sorts of problems and can cause a deterioration in your physical and mental health.
How are you today? Darren is right, you need to do what is best for you and we are here to support you.
Just dropping by to check on you.
I will be seeing him tomorrow and ending it for good. It is going to be hard,(on me) but I know that I have to do it. I knew what I had to do, I just needed someone else to tell me also. It is hard to love someone and not be loved back the way you want to be. I did leave my husband twice and give the other guy a chance to be with me if that's what he wanted, but he never wanted me I guess. Anyway, I am ok. Will let you know how it goes.
Lost and Lonely
Lost and Lonely,
I hope it's an easy break today. Please know that we are here for you whenever you need us. You deserve more than what this person has been willing to give you.
I did end it today. He said that he loved me but didn't want his wife to take everything away from him (in a divorce). I said that he didn't love me enough then. So that was that. I am sad but I will be all right. It is for the best, I know. Thanks to everyone for your help.
I am glad that a decision has been made. I can only imagine how much it must hurt at the moment, but as you say it will pass and you will be able to carry on with your life. We are here if you need to talk.