worst new years ever

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scotty066
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 27
   Posted 12/31/2007 10:44 PM (GMT -7)   
this was i thought was gonna be the best new years ever because i was gonna spend it with the one who i love more than anything. but she recently broke up with me and went straight to another man.noone called me to do something tonght invite me to any parties nothin. all night the only thing i could think about is her having fun without me. i only got 2 text messages that said happy new years and one was her. i had to use every ounce of energry not to break down and cry . i DIDNT reply to it. i CANT get over her i need HELP


SAD and LONELY

CassandraLee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 844
   Posted 1/1/2008 12:01 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Scotty. 
 
Please accept my ((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))).  I know how hard it is to be alone and feel so alone.  And certain holidays such as New Years Eve make it even harder.
 
But what you need to realize now is that all the feelings that you are having are actual normal and are to be expected.  You obviously care for your former girlfriend quite a lot and it sounds like this has all been a shock for you. But as hard and lousy as this all is you still need to take care of yourself right now.  And coming here to this board is a great step.  Just the other night I had posted with my own thoughts and hearing back from others lets you know that people actually do care about you and are here to unconditionally help you. Keep reaching out --it will do you some good.
 
Also, don't be so hard on yourself right now.  It may or may not take a little bit to get back on your feet again and  feel like yourself.  Try doing some things for yourself right now like journaling all your feelings into a notebook, going to see any movies that you have not seen (I have found that going by yourself is not so bad because you have time to reason things out on your own going back and forth and then you have some brief time to escape it all during the movie.)  Things like this can actually be soothing.  Or on the other hand, perhaps going to work out, lift weights, get your body moving w/ sports etc. can help you work out some of your grief and frustrations.
 
Every person grieves and then goes about healing in different ways.  You just need to remember that you are just starting this process.  Give yourself some time.  You will begin to feel better gradually and as you do get out more you can either reconnect with old friends and start to make new ones.
 
Keep in touch and I wish you the best tonight. 
Cass
 
 

ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 1/1/2008 6:00 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Scotty

This girl is playing games with you. She sounds like she is trying to keep you in the background in case her current relationship does not work.

That is not fair to you at all,you deserve better and you need to tell her just that.

It might be time to change your phone number and get a new email address.

The only way that you are going to get over her is by having no contact with her at all.

Remember you deserve to have someone that loves you as much as you do them.
Shy


Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Lexapro,Zyban,Buspar,Clonazepam

Have been med free for 2 years now.

I will scream with you,Cry with you and hopefully laugh with you.


misspstink
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 67
   Posted 1/1/2008 7:23 AM (GMT -7)   
If it makes you feel any better I too have had a really hard time getting over my ex. At midnight I was with a few people, and thought of him kissing his new gf and it made me woozy. It wasn't easy not to break down and cry, but I didn't. I lie awake until 5 am thinking about him and what they were maybe doing at that time. I even thought about them waking and having breakfast. It kills me inside to not be with him, I loved him more than anything. The thing I keep telling myself is that he wasn't the person I fell in love with in the end. That is a little bit comforting, but not nearly as much as the thought of being in his arms again, when things were good, and they hadn't been in a long time. I'm sorry you are feeling that way, but I understand that pain you are having with out her. It literally HURTS everywhere. HUGS to you, I am sorry.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40572
   Posted 1/1/2008 8:00 AM (GMT -7)   
I think that you got some good tips here today.  It is so hard to spend the holidays alone.  But we are your new family now so come to us when you need suggestions or comfort.  We will always be here for you.
 
I think journaling is a good way to sort things out, and as mentioned distractions.  Plus like shy says, you don't deserve to be kept on a string just incase things don't work out for her. nono
 
Keep posting here with us and we will try to continue to give you advise.  I am sure, if you feel the need, you will find somebody else soon.  But work on yourself, you can be strong.  Life goes on, and it is short so get out there and enjoy all of the prescious moments.
 
hugs
 
getting by
fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, clinically depressed and allergies


djdaz_1985
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 1/1/2008 11:45 AM (GMT -7)   

Hiya,

Im so sorry you have had a bad new years. As Getting By said, spending the holidays without company is very hard, especially when there is a particular person that you want to be with. All you can really do is try and pick yourself up and dust yourself off. You will always be welcome to spend the holiday here with us here.

Big Hugs

Darren


Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
 
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Floppington
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 43
   Posted 1/1/2008 6:51 PM (GMT -7)   
It seems like everyone can agree that the holidays get stressful and can be difficult at the best of times, and when you've recently broken up with someone it makes it harder because you can end up feeling very lonely. I think people have posted some good advice though. To feel sad and to miss your ex in natural, and you have to allow yourself some time to grieve and to get over it. Please try to not let her string you along. Even if she was just trying to be friendly by wishing you a happy new year, you did the right thing by not replying. Dragging it out and staying in contact when you still have feelings for her won't make you feel any better, and it makes the whole process more difficult. Breaking up is hard, but you have to remember that even though it may not feel like it right now, you will feel good again. Give yourself some time, and take care of yourself.

-Flop
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