I am sorry for your problems with your wife. You stated: I was really really unsure about marrying the woman I married . I am wondering if you had red flags before you married her what convinced you to go ahead?
Have you seen a therapist for yourself as that may help you some.
After reading your post it seems to me you want out of the marriage and really want to find a new companion. I am sure you will get some good advice from other members.
Take care and keep posting.
This is Kitt again and I have been down the road on this topic.......I cheated, but in the end I recognized that what I should have done and finally did get a divorce, took my 3 children and moved on. I met my wonderful husband and we married and had another child so we raised 4 children. We have been married for 36 years and I have never had the urge or been tempted to cheat again.
So my first marriage was obviously in big trouble, I was way to young and I did not deal with the problems as neither did my ex.
You cannot have your cake and eat it too...................I am living prove of that. Also you may think your children are not aware of the tension etc but if your wife is physically mean toward you, the children will sense as well as see more than you suspect.
IMHO, you are hoping to be able to keep your family life and still have a significant other to meet your self esteem needs. You can live with the sick wife if you can just have a healthy companion.
With that kind of thinking I don't feel your wife has a chance, and why should she be subjected to your having a "good" friend.
It would be kinder to lay the cards on the table and see how they fall with your wife. If you cannot work it out, then living apart may be the better choice.
I am not judging you..........as I know first hand how it felt to be judged, and judge people did. They were coming out of the wood work to judge.
Post Edited (Honey Bee) : 1/4/2008 9:23:45 AM (GMT-7)