Hi there and Welcome to HealingWell,
It sounds like you have had a really bad year. But 2008 is about a new start and a new beginning.
As for the secret you are holding, you could tell us if you find it easier to type (but also bear in mind we have to keep it within the forum rules). I think the main thing to consider is that this secret is holding you back and is starting to have a detrimental effect on your life. Without telling someone (and your therapist is a great place to start) moving forward will be much more difficult.