feeling like im a worthless failure

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confusedgirl22
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 228
   Posted 1/12/2008 8:27 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello.
     I am in my first yr of optometry school. I passed 8 out of the 10 classes. I failed one of the reexaminations. I have another reexamination on Tuesday. If I fail that, then I cannot go to optometry school anymore. But if I pass it, I can come back here next yr and repeat the yr. I feel like a failure. I feel like my dream is over. I'm also so sad about my ex-bf. He told me he did not want to talk to me for a long time.. and said probably 5 yrs. He said he has nothing to say to me. Just 4 months ago he came and visited me and we had so much fun. And now he's telling me he doesn't want to talk to me for a long time (just because one night I was stressed out/depressed and called him alot to talk to him). I feel so alone and stressed. I can't focus on studying.. it's so hard. Please help.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40595
   Posted 1/12/2008 8:39 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Confused,

Please don't feel like a failure, you are not.  You just might have to change what it is you want to do.  And remember you have that chance of going back next year. 

All or nothing thinking stops us from realizing the options in the grey areas.  The in between areas I guess I should say.  Look at the positive things that you have accomplished.  You have come a long way.  It is not the end of the world.  You have other options, try to see it that way.  You wont feel so helpless in that way.

Try to put the bf out of your mind, that could be what is interupting your studies.  He will be there for you eventually, but you have to be there for yourself now and negative thinking will not help that.  Think of the positives and your head will clear.  I promise.  If your boyfriend can't handle you venting, then either quit venting with him or find someone else who will listen.  Like a therapist. 

But seriously, you have to put all you have into college right now, that is what you are paying for, to learn.  If you keep letting your bf distract you, you are wasting your time in school.  Please understand, you have your whole life ahead of you.  Your bf doesn't make who you are, you do.

Good luck, keep us posted as to how you are doing.  Keep studying, your social life can be put on hold until you accomplish what it is you are trying to do.

Luv and hugs,

Karen


fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, clinically depressed and allergies


behindtheseeyes00987
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 191
   Posted 1/12/2008 11:51 AM (GMT -7)   
first off,
i just wanted to say that you're my hero. my lifelong dream has been to become an optometrist. but i could never do it, so im not.
so you're really brave.....


also, i understand what its like wanting to talk to someone and they just push away and say "leave me alone." things will get better. after all, you have everyone here on this forum.

best of luck on your exam. ill pray for you. i hope all works out--

ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 1/12/2008 2:46 PM (GMT -7)   
Confused
You have been given some excellent advice.
The only thing that I want to add is you deserve to be treated with respect. Simple as that.
And if that boy is treating you otherwise,then my friend...move on,and find someone else that is willing to stick with you.

It took me alot of years to realize that,and quite frankly it is a constant battle still to this day,but I still demand respect and so should you.

You will be ok,buckle up and study hard and you will will pass...keep us posted!
Shy


Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia


Sadsong
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 344
   Posted 1/13/2008 8:23 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Confused,

You are not a failure. Eight out of ten is tremendous! It shows all of your hard work has paid off, and now there's just one more to go! :) Try to do something just for yourself like taking a walk to clear your head before focusing on studying again. Also, are you in any study groups? If so, getting together with some other students who also need to study may help too. Lastly, as many others have already said, but is harder to actually do than say, is forget about the guy for a while. It will work out if it's meant to be, but for now, you come first! :)

sophieWVU
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 85
   Posted 1/13/2008 6:06 PM (GMT -7)   
Try to take a second and breathe.  I know how you feel...I had to leave vet school for my bipolar issues.  I felt like a failure, especially after all I had to go through to get there (a year worth of applying, being waitlisted, interview, declines, and moving to a different country to go to school).  You have to take care of your personal issues, in my case bipolar disorder, and in yours depression.  You'll never be cured but it can be managed.  Then you can do whatever you want.  It's not all your fault, you have a medical condition, no matter what anyone says or what we say to ourselves.  Yep, you failed classes, and that sucks.  But at some point you gotta get everything straight and start working you way into a happy life.  I had to go to the hospital shortly after leaving school.  Just leaving the house was a challenge.  I panicked all the time, cried all the time, obsessed all the time.  Then I ventured out to therapy 3 days a week.  Then, I started hanging out with friends again.  Now I start school again tomorow.  I can't go back to vet school right now.  I couldn't get into the US schools to begin with, due to my illness (was a 4.0 student for 2 years, my last semester I got a 1.6 b/c I was so depressed).  It's not going to happen right away if at all (things like these make you question your goals, what else is out there).  I'm going to work on a masters while I get my head straight.  Then maybe vet again.  We'll see.  It can't be fixed right away.  It's a long way down, and a long way back up. 

behindtheseeyes00987
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 191
   Posted 1/13/2008 9:18 PM (GMT -7)   
let us know how everythig goes!! GOOD LUCK <3

confusedgirl22
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 228
   Posted 1/17/2008 3:29 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks. I actually passed the second re-exam :-) However, I still cannot continue with the program this yr. If the committee decided I can come back next yr, I have to repeat EVERYTHING( including the classes I passed) :-( I don't know if I should go through it again.

djdaz_1985
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 1/17/2008 3:51 AM (GMT -7)   

Firstly I wanted to congratulate you on passing your re-exam. It must have been very nerve-racking being sat in there knowing this was effectively your last stab at the dream.

Secondly, You have described this as 'the dream' a number of times which suggests to me that this is probably quite important to you. Now that you have done all the hard work to stay in, it seems daft to say I dont want to go back. Sometimes these things are hard and you get knocked off your horse. But you have to dust yourself down and get back in the saddle... otherwise you could be sat on your backside a long time waiting for the next horse. If you didnt go back, have you an idea as to what you would do instead?


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getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40595
   Posted 1/17/2008 5:01 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Confused,

Just wondering how everything is going for you in an all in all sense. I wish you luck with your school situation. I know it will all work out for you.

Hugs

Karen
fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, clinically depressed and allergies


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 1/17/2008 6:10 AM (GMT -7)   
Congrats on passing your exam.

Remember this,you have your whole life ahead of you,and you are setting your future,so it might be hard work now,but won't it be worth it?
Shy


Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia


behindtheseeyes00987
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 191
   Posted 1/17/2008 2:56 PM (GMT -7)   
today at school a wise woman told me not to let anyone control your dreams. if there's something you want to do-do it. life is too short to play it safe.

sorry to hear about the situation, but congrats on the test. if this is something you REALLY want, i would def say go for it again if permitted. optometry is hard stuff, and like i said before its been my dream for a long, long time. i dont mean to sound like a hypocrit but you're smart and like djdaz said things will get hard sometimes but stick with it.

best of luck <3

katy_33
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 147
   Posted 2/10/2008 11:46 AM (GMT -7)   
hi confused ,
he is your ex ,so dont expect anything from him,if hes pushing you away so be it ,accept the fact he is not interested and is not ready to invest any emotions or time on u.i know it makes u sad but thats life sis,
sophie
plz help me as my bp hubby is freaking me out and its making me depressed,he has a new story everyday ,,i dont know abt bp much...
life is torture now..
katy
To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost.
Gustave Flaubert


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40595
   Posted 2/10/2008 1:37 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Katy,

You cannot blame your hubby for making you depressed.  It just sounds to me like you don't understand bipolar issues.  Have you ever thought of therapy to learn how to understand it better?  Bipolar has a combination of highs (manic behavior) and lows, sever depression.   It sounds like your husband is going through the highs right now.  I really would suggest reading about it or talking to somebody who can help you to understand it.  I wish I was more help.  Do an internet search and see what you can come up with.  Have you visited the bipolar forum?  That would be an excellent place to ask questions. 

I know that it is hard to live with, my mother was bipolar and her moods just snapped.  It can get frightening for the other person also.  I wish you luck with this.  Is he getting any help?  Does he talk to somebody or take medications for it? 

Keep posting I am sure that somebody will come along with some answers for you.

Hugs,

Karen


fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, clinically depressed and allergies

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