Laughter is the best medicine J
I had to seperate myself from my mother when I was in my early 30's. I did everything to try to please her and nothing worked. She was still very spiteful and mean. I took it for many years (and tears) until it started to affect my health physically as well as psycologically. So know that you gave it that one last attempt and like you say, move on and put it behind you. Knowing that you are a wonderful person, worthy of much love. Just don't blame yourself for anything. I always did, and it got me nowhere but very depressed. It took me a while before I realized I didn't deserve to be treated that way.
I think once we get away from a situation it does take a while to sink in. As was said now that you are feeling safe, the anxiety surfaced. But don't dispare, just treat yourself good and you will be back to yourself in no time.
I hope that you have a wonderful evening.
Thank you all for the encouraging words and support. I do feel much better now, although I was at ends a few days ago. Continue to take meds and hold my head up.
Glad to know I am not alone in this problem although sometimes you feel all alone.