medical abortion failed, surgical tomorrow

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confusedgirl22
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 228
   Posted 1/24/2008 7:00 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello everyone. Last month I had a medical abortion. I had an ultrasound two days ago and was told that the whole embryo was still there and that the medicine did not work at all. Tomorrow I'm scheduled for a surgical. I'm so scared. I know I need to do this. The father of the baby was never my boyfriend. My parents said they'd kick me out if I were to continue with the pregnancy. I'm so nervous. Has anyone had experience with a surgical abortion? I will be given anesthesia.

ediekristen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 1366
   Posted 1/24/2008 8:13 AM (GMT -7)   
I have no experience with this, however I'm sure it's a very terrifying and difficult thing to do and just know that this forum is always here for support. I'm glad to hear you will be given anesthesia, that way you will not have to experience the physical pain... I had a D&C done under anesthesia and although it was not for an abortion I believe they are a similar procedure and I had very minimal discomfort afterwards.

Good luck and just remember you're not alone!
Female, 22, Ulcerative colitis (pancolitis) since 1999; GERD; gastritis; osteopenia in hip & lumbar region of spine from long term prednisone use

Current Meds:
10mg Lexapro (for depression/social anxiety)
125mg Azathioprine
4800mg Asacol (Four 400mg tablets, three times a day)
10meq Potassium
 
 


Gillcom
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 272
   Posted 1/24/2008 9:48 AM (GMT -7)   
Confused, i can't believe this is happening after all you went through a few wks ago! It's terrible, you were greiving for your loss and the wee thing was still there. I feel so much for you, i really don't know what to say.

I would have thought the clinic would have given you a scan before now, but i'm sure they will have you comfortable if they don't have you sleeping, and if they are not going to put you to sleep tell them that you would prefer to be.

I'm so sorry this has happened, it's not good enough, when you think how hard a decision it was, then go for a procedure then hear that it has not worked!

Let me know how you are, i'll be thinking and praying for you,

Gillian x
Ileostomy - Feb 05, Hernia on site.
Fluoxetine - 20mg March 05 - july 06
Citalipram - 20mg July 06 - upped to 40mg now.


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40601
   Posted 1/24/2008 10:04 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Confused,

I am so sorry that this has happened.  I want to say that I am here for you, whenever you want to talk.  Let me know if you want to go into the chat room, I would be more than happy to.

You have been through so much honey, you deserve to be happy and I know how hard this is for you.  It is too bad that you can't keep the baby.  I think that you would be a good mom.  But I don't want to get into that because I know your situation with your parents. 

Good luck to you with this situation, just remember we are all here for you honey and you are in our prayers.

Luv and hugs,

Karen


fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, clinically depressed and allergies


wife28
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 1/24/2008 10:23 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Confused Girl 22,

Sorry for everything you are going through.

Good Luck

Post Edited By Moderator (MMMNAVY) : 1/28/2008 7:38:36 AM (GMT-7)


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 1/24/2008 5:01 PM (GMT -7)   
Confused
I am so sorry that you are having to go through this.

Are your parents going to be there with you? Take a deep breath,and try to relax for the night.
You will be ok

Let us know how you are doing.
Shy


Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/24/2008 5:16 PM (GMT -7)   

Hey confused,

I am so sorry this has happened and I hope your parents are there with you too.  You have my  support and I  care what happens to you.

Gentle Hugs and I will follow your posts.  Prayers for you.

Kitt 


 
Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic  ~ Crohn's
*~* http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 


Mochiah
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 450
   Posted 1/24/2008 5:57 PM (GMT -7)   
My thoughts are with you, confused. Please let us know how things go.
Mochiah/a.k.a. Sue
cervical fusion 2006, with great result
L4-5 surgery with cages, plates, and screws in 2005, I have continued pain 
MEDS:  Fentanyl patch, Norco, Celexa, trazodone, and Parafon Forte
 
To handle yourself, use your head...to handle others, use your heart
 
I'm going to smile like nothing is wrong, act like everything is perfect, and pretend its not hurting me.


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/25/2008 5:13 PM (GMT -7)   

Hello confused,
Thinking of you and will be waiting to hear how you are. Gentle Hugs to you.
Kitt


snowflake
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 595
   Posted 1/27/2008 1:44 PM (GMT -7)   
confused how sad for you to go through the grieving twice .The clinic should of followed up a few days after the last attempt .Hopefully you will reach your desired out come with this procedure and having the anesthetic will of coure be amust have . I pray your recovery is quick and you are back on your feet before long .Do continue talking to your friends and do spend some time grieving as this is a very important part of your healing .Take care and rest easy my prayers and thoughts are with you .
Restless
~~~~  If no one else cares i do  ~~~~~


Another Day
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 1055
   Posted 1/27/2008 4:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Please know that we will be thinking about you and we consider you as part of our family.  I am so sorry you are having to go through this twice.  I hope you have someone going with you.  Please know that you are loved and cared about by your HealingWell family.
 
Love and Prayers,
 
Carla

Moderator, Allergies/Asthma
 
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
 
 
Epilepsy, asthma, GERD, depression, hypothyroidism, tinnitus


Gillcom
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 272
   Posted 1/28/2008 2:43 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Confused,

How are you? I have been thinking about you all weekend, please post when you can to let us know you are ok, you have so many friends here thinking about you.

Gillian x


Ileostomy - Feb 05, Hernia on site.
Fluoxetine - 20mg March 05 - july 06
Citalipram - 20mg July 06 - upped to 40mg now.


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/28/2008 5:25 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Confused,
We are all here for you and know you are cared for.  Hugs to you.
Kitt

 
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic  ~ Crohn's
*~* http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 


ediekristen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 1366
   Posted 2/1/2008 7:53 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi confused,

Just wanted to say that I've also been wondering about you and I hope you're holding up okay. Sending positive energy your way.
Female, 22, Ulcerative colitis (pancolitis) since 1999; GERD; gastritis; osteopenia in hip & lumbar region of spine from long term prednisone use

Current Meds:
10mg Lexapro (for depression/social anxiety)
125mg Azathioprine
4800mg Asacol (Four 400mg tablets, three times a day)
10meq Potassium
 
 


confusedgirl22
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 228
   Posted 2/1/2008 9:46 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello everyone.
    Thank you for thinking of me. I'm ok physically. The surgery went ok. I did not feel anything since I was under anesthesia. However, emotionally I'm not so well. I keep thinking about what my life would have been like with a baby, and if it would have been a boy or a girl. If the father would have eventually helped me raise it etc. I'm alone now. My car is not back yet. My parents are at work during the day. I have friends in town but my parents won't let me tell them that I failed a class and I'm home now. They won't let me tell my friends until the end of April. For those of you who did not read previous posts, I have an undergrad degree with a Bio major. However, I failed one class my first semester of grad school and was not permitted to continue with the program this semester. I have to repeat the yr in the fall. My parents are embarassed by the whole situation and that's why they won't let me tell anyone. I called a pro-life clinic a few days ago. And they offer counseling for post-abortion women. But my parents won't let me go there. They think it's pointless. They are also scared I will see someone I know there. Right now my life consists of staying at home, reading old textbooks, working out (whenever my Mom can take me)and starting my class on Tuesday. I feel so alone. :-(

Post Edited (confusedgirl22) : 2/1/2008 9:55:00 AM (GMT-7)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40601
   Posted 2/1/2008 10:14 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Sweetie,

I know you are going through so much right now.  I am sorry for the way that your parents treat you, it isn't right.  You have to grieve honey, so take it one day at a time and let the grieving process come as it may.  Just go with it, soon you will feel better.

You will always wonder, what if?  But you need to try to put that into the past and take life one day at a time now.  Later on in life you will be able to have another baby and you will be able to enjoy it.  I can't wait until you get your degree and can leave home and live your life the way you want to without your parents dictating your every  step.  What they have done to you isn't fair, but you will have to deal with that at another time.  You will probably have some resentful feelings towards them but try not to let that make you bitter.  Your parents are too concerned about appearances.  That is so superfiscal.  You are a wonderful person Confused.  And I can see that you are confused right now with being pulled in so many directions.  So for now focus on your goals with school, that is something productive and will be good for you. 

Remember we are here for you right now and I imagine that you will need to vent a lot.  Make sure that you come here to get it out.  You need that right now and we are here to help you get through this.  Let your feelings out here and that will free your mind up for your studies.  I am glad that you posted, we all have been wondering how you are.  You are a part of our family now and we truly care about you.

Get some rest now, cry if you need, it is cleansing and you need to get these emotions out.  Just remember how much we care about you.  You are in my thoughts and prayers my dear.  And I am always here for you.

Love and hugs,

Karen


fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, clinically depressed and allergies


confusedgirl22
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 228
   Posted 2/2/2008 9:52 AM (GMT -7)   
thank you for your support. I don't like my life here at home with my parents. I just turned 23 a few days ago. Since I had to take the semester off, my parents have been telling me to study anatomy every day (eventhough I had been studying it ALL of christmas break to try to pass the re-examination). They hate it when I'm on the computer (eventhough it's my only way to escape). I feel so trapped. They won't let me tell any friends I'm home from grad school because they're embarassed. Last night I was on the computer (eventhough they told me to study anatomy) and they took away my computer. I went and laid down on my bed and texted one of my friends from FL telling him I miss it there and I hate it here. They tried to take away my phone and I put it under my pants so they wouldn't take it. To my surprise, they pinned me down on the floor and my dad reached down my pants and got my phone. Do you think this is abuse? After 10 minutes of crying and begging him to give me my phone back, he did and threw it. I want to move out, but I don't know where to go. I don't have money. I have student loans, but not for this semester (since I failed that class). I want to study anatomy but my class here at home hasn't started yet. I also am an emotional wreck from the abortion and from failing a class that I'm not motivated to study right now, and they don't understand. Please help. I hate living here.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40601
   Posted 2/2/2008 11:12 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Sweetie,

I honestly think that this is abuse, but honey you are 23 years old. You should try to move somewhere else. Though I know it is hard because they are paying for everything. So you have to weigh this out. Is it worth trying to become a doctor and live with them with the abuse? Or would you be better off getting a job and working on your degree gradually? I think that they have controlled you all of your life, it is time for you to go out on your own and live. I would think that you would be so much happier out from under their pursestrings.

Though this is your choice and maybe you are afraid to live on your own. Is there anyway you could share an appartment with somebody and get a part time job to help you through school? Think about it.

I honestly think that your father had no right to reach down your pants to get that phone. That could possibly be sexual abuse if you really think about it.

I am sure you will get a lot of other opinions here. Hopefully they can help you more than I can. But remember I am here for you and I will try to think of a solution for you. Maybe a therapist would help you at this point. You need someone to give you some answers. This isn't fair to you.

Luv and hugs,

Karen
fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, clinically depressed and allergies


Gillcom
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 272
   Posted 2/3/2008 8:23 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Confused,

I can't believe the way your parents are treating you. It's horrendous what you have been through and now this. It's as if they are keeping you hostage, punishing you, i don't know what i'd do if i was in this situ but one thing is for sure you need to speak to some professional, and let them know exactly what is going on.

I know you might not want to hear this but i think this has gone on long enough, to me they gave you no option about having your baby, and now this abuse it should stop now! Have you no other family members you can speak to?

I just can't stop thinking about what you have been through, please get help,

Gillian x
Ileostomy - Feb 05, Hernia on site.
Fluoxetine - 20mg March 05 - july 06
Citalipram - 20mg July 06 - upped to 40mg now.


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40601
   Posted 2/3/2008 10:19 AM (GMT -7)   
Confused,
Didn;t you say that you could talk to your grandmother? Maybe you should talk to her about this.
Love Karen
fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, clinically depressed and allergies


Mochiah
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 450
   Posted 2/3/2008 2:43 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh confused, my heart goes out to you. You have been through so much and it doesn't look like an end is in sight. You are in a tough spot in that they are paying for everything.....but if you think of how high the price is that YOU are paying to them, it is just chilling.

It may take you longer to get your degree, but I feel you need to get out of there, stay with a friend and get a job to pay for school yourself. You'd better prepare yourself for what they will do to try to manipulate you again. (My dad wrote me out of the will when I wouldn't do things his way....he later put me back in once the sting of what I had done went away). He didn't understand that I just didn't care about the money, I didn't want his money or belongings, I wanted his support.

Please, speak to someone...Karen made a good point that your grandma was a rock for you last time.
Mochiah/a.k.a. Sue
cervical fusion 2006, with great result
L4-5 surgery with cages, plates, and screws in 2005, I have continued pain 
MEDS:  Fentanyl patch, Norco, Celexa, trazodone, and Parafon Forte
 
To handle yourself, use your head...to handle others, use your heart
 
I'm going to smile like nothing is wrong, act like everything is perfect, and pretend its not hurting me.


Another Day
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 1055
   Posted 2/3/2008 7:07 PM (GMT -7)   
Confused,
 
Your parents are being very controlling and abusive.  I don't see how you can stay in their home much longer.  I agree that you should try to find a friend to stay with and try to find a part-time job while going to school.  Would your grandmother be supportive of you?  I hate to say this, but your parents sound like monsters, the way they are treating you.  They are so hung up on appearances.
 
You have nothing to be ashamed of, they do. 
 
Please remember we love you unconditionally here.
 
Love and prayers,
 
Carla

Moderator, Allergies/Asthma
 
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
 
 
Epilepsy, asthma, GERD, depression, hypothyroidism, tinnitus


TexasJen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 649
   Posted 2/3/2008 7:39 PM (GMT -7)   
I haven't checked this forum in quite some time, and I am horrified after reading this thread! Confused, you are so much stronger than your parents want you to believe. They have sucker-punched you one too many times, but you're still standing. Battered and bruised, but still standing. :-)

You have to take charge of your own life. Now. There has to be someone in your life willing to take you in while you get yourself together - meaning a job and a place of your own. Your education can wait. Your parents have already stolen your baby's life; don't let them steal the rest of yours. I'm curious. What do you think they will do if you tell everyone you know that you're out of school? Will they retaliate physically? Great! Then you can call the cops and have their sorry rear ends thrown in the slammer, which is where they should be. Scream and yell? Big deal! They're doing that already.

I so want to reach through this computer and give you a hug and some confidence. I'd also love to see you sit down and think seriously of an escape plan. Right now, you're in prison without the bars.
Living in the Republic of Texas minus a gallbladder, a couple of cervical discs, appendix, uterus, and 18" of colon; but still alive and living with my husband, 2 dogs, 1 cockatiel, and 2 gold fish. 


confusedgirl22
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 228
   Posted 2/4/2008 9:18 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you everyone for your support. I am scared to leave home. I don't know if any relatives will take me in. I really don't know. I'm scared to ask. BabyTiger22, I e-mailed you. I might go to a therapist today at the postabortion therapy pro-life clinic.

Gillcom
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 272
   Posted 2/4/2008 9:24 AM (GMT -7)   
How are you though today? Is it any calmer at home? Thats good you are going to see the therapist today i'm sure he/she will help you. But you really have to think hard about your future.

Remember we are all here for you,

Gillian x
Ileostomy - Feb 05, Hernia on site.
Fluoxetine - 20mg March 05 - july 06
Citalipram - 20mg July 06 - upped to 40mg now.

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