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jennyhelp
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 43
   Posted 2/2/2008 3:53 PM (GMT -7)   
i cant do this anymore, mad i feel so crap now and i want to end it but to b honest im to cowardly to.if i cud just go asleep and not ake up!!

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40603
   Posted 2/2/2008 4:58 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Jenny,

What is the matter?  Do you need to talk, I am here if you do.

I will be around all night so if you need to vent, go ahead.  I can give you some phone numbers to the national suicide hotline if you need. 

800-273-8255

800-784-2433

Please let me know how you are feeling.  We are here to help you.

hugs,

Karen


fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, clinically depressed and allergies


jennyhelp
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 43
   Posted 2/2/2008 5:06 PM (GMT -7)   
i dnt even no karen,i just like like there is no point anymore.i hate eveytin bout myself and workin and just everytin.jesus sumtimes i just feel like y me,y am i feelin like this.i cant stop think bout hurtin myself it just keeps playin on my mind

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40603
   Posted 2/2/2008 5:19 PM (GMT -7)   

Why do you feel like hurting yourself?  Are you angry at yourself?  Or do you just want to feel something?

I use to hate myself too.  But please don't.  You are a special person, kind and compassionate and it sounds like you are hurting.  Can you think of what makes you feel bad?

Do you have any music that you could play to make you feel better?  Music always helps me, maybe a nice warm bath to relax you.

Do you take medications or go to therapy?  I have to do both and it really helps me to feel better about myself. 

And you can't possibly hate everything about yourself.  There has to be somethings that you like.  Write them down on a piece of paper and read them to yourself.  Over and over.  Do you like to read books?  Watch movies? 

Keep me posted, I am here for you.

hugs,

Karen


fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, clinically depressed and allergies


jennyhelp
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 43
   Posted 2/2/2008 5:40 PM (GMT -7)   
i cant explain it.i did take meds and therepy,i gave up on them like everytin else in my life.ive lost friends and i cant take to anyone,and even if i did how do i approach it with soundin stupid .i need sumtin
 
Reason for edit:
 
Im sorry but we cannot accept explicit, vuglar or obscene langauge in the forums (Even when you put a space between each letter in order for it to miss the filter). Darren
 
 

Post Edited By Moderator (djdaz_1985) : 2/3/2008 5:23:25 AM (GMT-7)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40603
   Posted 2/2/2008 5:59 PM (GMT -7)   

Well I don't think that you sound stupid, I think you sound like you need someone to talk to.  Maybe you should see someone and get back on medication and talk to a therapist.  I know that it helps me.  I am here to listen if you want to talk.

hugs,

Karen


fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, clinically depressed and allergies


jennyhelp
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 43
   Posted 2/2/2008 6:11 PM (GMT -7)   
i wana talk but dnt no wat to say.i cant talk 2 a stranger or friends so wat do i do.sit in silence??i realy need to sort myself out but i dont no how i dont no how to deal wit what im thinkin.4 example im feelin crap now so who do i turn to? everyone is sleepin now i cant ring or txt them,so i just lie awake and think.no1 can giv me the answers and i cant figure them out.for the first time in my life im admitting im desperate,....for help.

TeNNiSd0C09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 2/2/2008 6:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Ok, so, I can say I feel the same way as you. Yet, I know here I can open up about anything...I am not sure why... I feel like people here are my family, yet they dont know me in person so it is easier to talk to them. I have the same feelings as you. I think its good that you admit you want help.

Its was really hard for me at first to open up about things and talk, but I have gotten a little better at it, an dI have found that I do have people who care about me. I wish I had talked about it sooner. I do alot of thinking ot sort myself out, so I know it isnt an easy thing to do, as I have no been successful at that, but I have gone through this before just a few months ago. I feel like I wont make it until tomorrow, but I felt this way every night before this one...and looking back...I have made it 9 months feeling like I want to disapear. But, I have been strong, and I have kept going.

I want you to do the same. There are people who care about you. People want to help you. You have to let them. I didnt for a long time and I regret it. I could have saved myself a lot of trouble, but I resisted.

You said you didnt know who to turn to...turn to us. We are here for you. We cant cure you, but it really is amazing what just talking can do. Just say whatever is on your mind. Anything. You can talk to us, and we will do everything we can to help.

Tomorrow is always a new day. A day given so that you can start over. That is what I remember everyday and it keeps me going. I am thinking of you and hope that you keep posting.

"Healing is an energy phenomenon. Hope is another word for Healing.
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are"
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
"Im going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."


jennyhelp
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 43
   Posted 2/2/2008 6:33 PM (GMT -7)   
wow karen,

that was realy nice.thanks for listening and what u have said.today is nearly over and i guess its good that i made it today and all i have to do is make it threw tomorow.day by day right. :-)

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40603
   Posted 2/2/2008 6:48 PM (GMT -7)   

Yes Jenny,

Day by day.  That is all we can do.  And it works. take things slow and relax.  One day at a time.

Tennis, thank you for your input.  See, you are a lot wiser and stronger than you think you are.  What you are saying makes a lot of sense.  Thanks again.

Like Tennis said Jenny, we are hear to help you, to listen and do what we can.  You have come to a good place.  There are so many on here that have recently gone through what you are going through.  They understand.  And a lot have found help on this forum.  It can be a good place just to vent.  Sometimes just doing that can help a lot. 

I wish for you inner peace.

Hugs

Karen


fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, clinically depressed and allergies


jennyhelp
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 43
   Posted 2/2/2008 6:51 PM (GMT -7)   
tennis what u said has made me feel better i posted feelin realy realy down and now what u said has helped.i just txt a friend,ha.thank you

Another Day
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 1055
   Posted 2/2/2008 6:53 PM (GMT -7)   
Jenny,
 
I hope you will keep talking to us.  A lot of us have been where you are and we will be here for you.  A lot of us have had that same hopeless, helpless feeling.  We welcome you to the HealingWell family.  There is usually someone around.  Just keep talking and getting it out, don't keep it bottled up inside of you.  That's the worst thing you can do.  Please know we are here for you and we care about you.
 
Big Hugs!
 
Carla
 

Moderator, Allergies/Asthma
 
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
 
 
Epilepsy, asthma, GERD, depression, hypothyroidism, tinnitus


TeNNiSd0C09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 2/2/2008 7:40 PM (GMT -7)   
You are very welcome! I know just what you are feeling. Most of us do. We are all in this together! We are here to help each other make it through! Its like in Lilo and Stitch...Ohana means family, family means no one gets left behind. We consider ourselves a family and we help each other keep going. We wont let anyone fall behind! :)

I am glad you feel better. I am feeling a little better myself since I got on here and said everything that was on my mind. Sometimes we just need to say everything we are feeling regardless of anything else. Sometimes I just have to close my mind and say everything I am feeling before I have a chance to think about it and get scared. So, I know it is hard to deal with things. But, I also feel like once I stop feeling this way, things will be so much better. I will be a better person because of this. That is what I tell myself.

I want to share a secret. Some time ago, I decided to fight this battle and change my ways. I quit drinking caffeine because I read it attributes to anxiety and panic. On my cell phone, my banner reads, "2MR0S A NEW dAY"...I put that on there because I text so much. When I feel down I text my best friend and we talk...so now when I open my phone it says to me, tomorrow is a new day, and I remember that yeah, tomorrow is a new day...and so I decide to keep fighting. Also, I wrote myself little notes and I placed them where I might see them. I wrote myself notes of encouragement and wrote about things that are important to me so that I can basically inspire myself to keep going. To make myself read the good things.

Maybe you could try somethings also. Write down anything good you can think of. I have a friend that wrote down good things about herself and her life and things that make her happy, she reads her list every monring when she wakes up. I do the same sometimes. And it does help. It can be as simple as writing "cake. movies. flowers. the color blue." Anything like that. Reading about things that make you happy can help and it can also get your mind off other things...so you could try that...

I hope this helps. I know you are having a hard time, but I am glad you feel a little better. We have to be patient. If I have learned anything its that I have to be patient and let things work themselves out. So, maybe in time you and I will both sort things out and it will be better, but we have to choose to keep going for that to happen!

I hope all of this helps! I am thinking of you! And remember, we are all in this together! Keep posting!

"Healing is an energy phenomenon. Hope is another word for Healing.
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are"
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
"Im going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."


HoneysBunny
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 25
   Posted 2/2/2008 8:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey there,
Not sure if this will help but I keep a journal or notebook by my bed and when i get down and dont really have anyone to talk to for feel like they would understand then I start writing in that. I read back the other day things I wrote a year ago. Some of it I dont even understand. Some of it was just words that came to mind. But it seems that if you can get it out of your head by writing it here, talking to someone or if all else fails writing it to yourself it seems to help. You are a very wonderful part of this world, I know its hard to think that about yourself but you are. Like I think everyone else has said so clearly take each day a day at a time or a moment at a time. And any time you want to vent or talk we are here. And if you want a more immediate response you could always try the chat rooms. Even if no one is in the depression room just go into any room we all try to support everyone there. I am there alot so look me up anytime. Hugs and remember a moment at a time and right now I want a smile from you:) Ah thats it so beautiful. Talk to you soon.
Margaret
Fibro, Ulceractive Colitis, Depression, Anxiety, Complete Hysterectomy at 36 (39 now), Sleep problems and all the other things that come along with Fibro nodules and enlarged thyroid, migranes
 
Meds
premerin, asacol, snthroid, topamax, imitrex, percocet, klonopin, effexor - Im sure I might have forgotten something:)


Another Day
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 1055
   Posted 2/3/2008 7:20 PM (GMT -7)   
Jenny,
 
Just keep talking to us.  I think you have already made some new friends and found some people you can relate to.  We are really glad to have you here with us.  I like the idea that Tennis gave you, what I would call writing down some "happy" words or thoughts.
 
Big Hugs!
 
Carla

Moderator, Allergies/Asthma
 
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
 
 
Epilepsy, asthma, GERD, depression, hypothyroidism, tinnitus


djdaz_1985
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 2/4/2008 2:44 AM (GMT -7)   

Hiya Jenny,

Have you tried 'Free Association Writing'? Basically, where you start writing and you just write whatever comes to your head, no matter what it is. You could write it in the style of a letter or a diary entry if you wanted. Sometimes it is a good way of getting things out. How are you doing today? Are you feeling a little better today? Remember you can always chat here. Sometimes if it is the middle of the night where you are, there will still be someone online since we have members all over the globe, not just the US.

Darren


Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
 
"A gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if your not enough without it, you will never be enough with it." - Irvine Blitzer (John Candy) in Cool Runnings
 
Moderator - Epilepsy Forum
Co-Moderator - Depression Forum
 
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
 

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