Hi there Anne,
Yes but you are a wife and a mother. Not just a wife or just someone's mother, but a WIFE and a MOTHER. Be proud of who you are.
I think that you are right, you need to get back on medication. It isn't that I don't think what these people are doing to you isn't important. It is and they are being jerks. But with medication, it wouldn't bother you as much. You will be able to start doing the things that you love such as reading and the other things you love. You will get more pleasure out of life. You will be HAPPY again. You wont feel uniimportant and blah anymore.
We are here to help you. And I especially want you to know that you do count, you are a special person. And yes, you deserve to be happy. And you can.
So I would just start ignoring the irritating neighbor. Give your friend a little space, she might be strugglilng too. But let her know that you are there for her in the meantime. Also in the meantime we will be here for you. We have all been through what you are experiencing. So we want to help you as much as we can.
Hey, tell us about you children. I would love to know.
Luv and hugs,
Posted by Anne at 5:17 PM
The thing with my neighbor is very complicated. In a way she is doing to me exactly what she accused me of doing to her. She is stalking me. Sometimes she follows me or shows up right behind me on the road as if she were waiting somewhere for me to pass. I have myself seen this woman take pictures of me and shes not shy about telling people she has plenty more to go with it. If I ignore her she only gets worse, so I have to keep an eye out at all times which makes my depression all the worse. I am constantly looking over my shoulder. Sometimes I feel as though I am just paranoid but I'm not. The woman is a fruitcake, I keep my video cam with me when I am out of the house just in case and my cell phone has voice recorder on it and I have it set where I just have to push a button, so when she does something to me or in a worse case finally snaps I have proof of it. I scan parking lots if I know she isn't home, I leave at different times each day to pick my kids up, I take different routes home if she is anywhere near me. She scares me. Her husband scares me. Even her kids scare me.Aside from all of that I am dealing with my own demons, regrets, self pity, worthlessness, I don't always feel this way but I do alot lately, and the sad thing is is there is no reason for it. I had a happy childhood with loving parents, I was never raped or abuse. Sure we have money issues like anyone but I am far from the poor house. My husband has a good job, I am able to stay home with the kids. My husband is wonderful and loving, he has never hurt me in any way. So why do I feel like this. I am not suicidal, I could never do that, but sometimes I feel so ....I don't know how to explain it....it's like tomorrow isn't going to happen or I have no future........why try because everything is falling apart in the world anyway.....sometimes I sit and wonder why do we even keep on living, wouldn't it be easier to just lay down and die.You ask about my children, this is another reason I don't understand why I feel the way I do. My children are mostly very well behaved, yes they tend to drive me nuts but nothing more then just being kids, they are all very healthy, my two oldest who are 9 and 7 are both straight A students, my youngest is 9 months, he's so beautiful, all my children are, last night he took his first steps. He's the happiest baby I have ever seen. I am very proud of my kids and thank God for giving me the chance to know them.I am trying to give my friend some space, I don't blame her for backing off from me, I think I may be bringing her down when she is trying so hard to get better. This is causing me alot of guilt. And it makes me sad. This has been a really bad day, without giving out to much info, lets just say I live in the southeast and last night was terrible. I didn't sleep much and woke up late which made my kids tardy but they weren't actually tardy, the principle rang the bell to early. I even told them this and showed them the time on my cell and they still made my kids tardy, this made me angry because they haven't been tardy all year and I ran myself to death this morning to get them there on time. Then I called my friend to chat and she was a bit distant and rude to me. I just let her go and went on. But it bothers me.I must sound like I am unloading all at once. There is so much going on in my head and at the same time nothing is. I'm very confused alot. Everything seems to be swirling around me. Like gnats. I am in slow mo and the world is passing me by.
Your neighbor definitely has a little somethin' wrong going on. The best you can do in that situation is what you are doing, stay on guard but stay away. I wonder if she or they (she and hubby) have anything of public record you could look up at the county court house as to what kinds of things they have been involved in before. If she is following you, it might kind of freak her out to see you going to a court house. Maybe the police might know some history on them...I don't know, but it is hard to sit idly by while she is trashing you to everyone. Getting by is right, give your other friend some space, or if when you talk to her try not to let her know what is going on with you, ask how she is doing and make it about her....she will return the favor when she feels better. The world has become somewhat unfair, people hurt others for money, envy, or no reason at all....bad people succeed and good people fail....saddest of all is that people live in loneliness because they cannot believe that they are loved. I kind of feel sorry for the kids of this neighbor, they probably are avoided because of the way their parents are. The parents have had to have done this to others (or maybe you said they did in your other thread), anyway, your other neighbors sit idly by while she does this to you because in their thinking it is like "hey, at least it isn't me." Maybe try getting involved in something away from home so you don't have to be around her....you like kids, maybe read to kids at the library or volunteer as a room mother at your kids' school. Anything has got to be better than letting this woman tear you down, and by ignoring her and going on with life well, there is no sweeter revenge than that!
There is certainly some benifit to blocking these people out but its important not to completely isolate yourself from thw world, otherwise you wont get anywhere. Certainly focus on yourself, but dont cut everything off. Reducce stress to a minimum, but remember that a little bit of stress is actually healthy.