Post Edited (confusedgirl22) : 2/17/2008 2:59:19 PM (GMT-7)
I tried sitting them down but they don't listen to me :-( I told my friends at my undergrad university I'm here, and they're fine with that. I don't know what to do except wait til April when I can tell my friends here I'm home.
Congrats on having a baby Madison Every day I think about what I did to the baby. But the father was not my boyfriend. He was a hot personal trainer I met in FL. We went out a few times, and I thought he cared about me. Turns out I was wrong. I found out from his ex-bestfriend he got another girl pregnant too. She had an abortion too and doesn't talk to him.I found out he's a player and doesn't wear a condom when he has sex. I was on the pill, but still got pregnant. I also got tested and I'm clean. Thank God. Also, my parents would have kicked me out if I had the baby. But I do believe God is caring for him/her in heaven. The medical abortion didn't work when I was 7 weeks. So then I had the surgical under anesthesia. I was 3 months when I found out the medical abortion didn't work at my followup apointment. Its due date would have been 08.08.08 and every day on the anniversary I will pray to God to watch my baby. I hope God forgives me. Thanks for your support Madison.
"Healing is an energy phenomenon. Hope is another word for Healing. "Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are""Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve""Im going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."
Do you think that it is possible that you need to study something different in school? You said that your grades were bad and that you have to re do the whole year. Maybe this isn't your calling. Is there something else that interests you?
Honey, you are 23 years old. Maybe you should get a job and find a place of your own. You would have a life then without someone holding material things over your head all of the time. It sounds like it is time for you to cut the pursestrings and get out on your own. Until you do, I don't think it is possible for you to be happy. Give the guy his space, if he doesn't want to see you anymore, so be it. There are a lot of other nice guys out there for you to meet. It might have something to do with you hooking up with the internet guy.
Something to think about.
I am sorry that you are so unhappy.
Post Edited (getting by) : 2/18/2008 9:45:58 AM (GMT-7)
Post Edited (confusedgirl22) : 2/18/2008 3:37:08 PM (GMT-7)
Post Edited (MMMNAVY) : 2/18/2008 4:45:55 PM (GMT-7)
Hi there, this is Kitt and I am so sorry you are in a bad place right now. I believe your parents love you too and would I be right in guessing that they are supporting you right now? They may be trying to protect you from anymore pain and your ex-boyfriend has made his stand. I am so sorry as I know it hurts but you will not be able to make him do what you would like him to do.I am not judging you but I do know from my own experience that a time comes when we have to let go of someone for our own mental health.
I hope you are still in therapy and that you are able to talk about all these feelings that you are having.
Any chance you can just hold on any education plans for now. That is a lot of stress and you have a BS. You must be very proud of your degree. Kudos to youKitt
Post Edited (MMMNAVY) : 2/19/2008 3:08:52 PM (GMT-7)
Post Edited (MMMNAVY) : 2/19/2008 9:19:20 PM (GMT-7)
It sounds like you are getting a whole lot of good advice here. This could be the beginning of a new life for you.
I hope that you take this advice and run with it. You are a wondrerful person and I hope you can realize that.
Good luck to you with your new beginning, today is the first day of the rest of your life.
Luv and hugs,