Just don't lose faith in yourself and your life. You may not be able to be with the one that you love, but you do have the memories. And sometimes when you get on with your life they respect you more. Let him see your strength by starting a new life, I know that it is hard for you to let go, but I think if there is a chance of him coming back to you, it will be when he sees you as a strong person who doesn't NEED him so much. Can you see what I am trying to say? It wont mean that you don't love him, it will mean that you love yourself. You are such a wonderful strong person. Faith in you is what you need. Don't let his absence bring you down anymore. Be strong, get out and live your life, you deserve that. I don't know what all you did to make you feel that you have to torment yourself in this way. You act like you don't deserve to be happy and you DO deserve to be happy. And like I said, going on with life doesn't have to erase his memory. It doesn't mean that you don't care for him, it just means that you love yourself too. So please, love yourself. Do something nice for yourself and quit punishing yourself. You don't deserve that. You are a good person and you are blessed by a fond memory of a life that so many of us never experience. Take this to heart and give yourself a chance to live your life. You are in my thoughts and in my prayers.
Luv and hugs,
There is a time to start over for you not because he thinks you should but because it is the best thing for you my friend. Sometimes we have to put the past behind us and start fresh. The memories will always be there but it may be time for you to start making plans for a future that does not include this man.
All of the negative feelings and emotions are perfectly normal. Do not feel guilty about having these feeling and experiencing these emotions.
Do not second-guess your self. Don't feel that if you had done things differently that you would still be together. It is not something you can go back and do differently.
Do not let the break up affect your self-esteem. Don't think thoughts such as: "I am not pretty enough" "I am not good enough for my spouse" "I should have done _______" "I shouldn't have done _________"
Just remember this is not your fault as every relationship takes two people.
I am so sorry you are going through this...coming here and talking about this as well as sharing it with others is the best thing to do. We are here for you so keep on talking........... we care.Hugs
but I read a few posts and I would like to tell you I have been there and I never in my wildest dreams thought my life would go to the place where I am today. I lost my health, my wife (of 22 years) and my job all at the same time. And yes for awhile I was doing foolish things to ease the pain (drinking,gambling, etc.) but I am now on disability,remarried, and somewhat stable reguarding my health. So don't fear, hold your head up high and even by chance things can get better, I know it's true as it happened to me.
You do have something to offer and that is you. I wish that you wouldn't sell yourself short like you do. You are kind, caring, compassionate, smart and a very special beautiful person. You are letting a man define who you are. There are millions of people in this world and there could be another person in your life that you feel special around just like you did with him. I really wish you would think about it. Don't give up on yourself.
Though we can tell you this every day I know it is up to you whether you are going to believe it or not. I can't make you think anything other than you want to. But I can try. I could go on and on about how wonderful you are and how special you are to all of us, but it is up to you to believe it. And as long as you don't, you are going to be sad. I wish you could believe what I am telling you. You keep punishing yourself over and over. But that is your choice.
Sometimes I want to say something to make you defend yourself and fight back, but I don't think that would do any good. Challenge you to love yourself like we love you. But I don't want to keep pushing you, because this is up to you. Teresa, please love you for who you are, we do.
I hope that you have brighter days to come.
luv and hugs,
Does the sadness ever stop? I don't know anymore, I wish I knew. I do know how you feel thow.
I myself wake up and have to force myself to look for something that I enjoy, even that I am in severe physical pain daily. Even if it's something as small as enjoying a nice hot cup of coffee, I just indulge in that one thing for that moment, I know it can be worse as that too can be taken away. Do you have any friend's? if so spend some time with them, even if it's just on the phone. I feel you have lots of saddness inside, let it out somehow, who cares what others think, do it for yourself. If your really bored, try going online check out www.youtube.com there is some funny videos there, I laughed so much at some of them. I will continue to pray for you.
Thats an interesting question: Does the sadness ever stop? Unfortunately its not one I have the answer to, but I know that you are an amazing person and you have kept your faith through tough times and I have no doubt that you will make it though this as well. I wish you all the best.
Post Edited (faithfully4you) : 2/23/2008 3:56:12 PM (GMT-7)
You sound like you may be feeling better, I am so happy. Keep posting we love to hear from you too.
I am tired today. Yesterday too. The weather is better but too tired to go out. Yesterday did a ton of laundrry at the mat. There were a lot of people doing the same. Usually nobody goes on Saturday. Usually it is empty, not yesterday. Got it done anyhow. Feel much better now.
I hope that you have a wonderful evening.
I know what you mean about this weather, it has been a hard winter. We are getting snow today too. But not a storm. I have a psychiatrist appt about 50 miles away, would be an hour drive for me. Hopefully I will make it. I have had to cancel three times this year due to weather. We have a lot of ice since it has been thawing some. I just can't wait until spring. I go mushroom hunting and I am so looking forward to that.
Have a great day today, I hope you feel better, there is nothing wrong with spending the day in bed. I try not to because I have fibromyalgia and spent the first two years in bed. Listening to life go on without me and aging in the meantime. I don't want to go back there. I took a nap a couple of days in a row and said - no more of this, it is too easy for me to end up back there again.
Take care, get some rest.
Luv and hugs, Karen