Post Edited (viper22) : 2/24/2008 1:36:33 AM (GMT-7)
Hi there Viper and Welcome to Healingwell!
If I understand this right, although you have 2 daughters only 1 lives with you and your g/f and she is a baby? I cannot honestly sit here and preach about intimacy problems and children since I have never had a g/f nor have I any children. However, I understand from others that being intimate with your partner with a new baby in the house is often difficult since your thoughts are often pre-occupied with the baby and there is the question of Post-Natal Depression. But if I understand the situation correct, your partner is not genetically linked to the baby however in moral terms, it is you and your g/f's baby. I know this sounds daft but I know it happens SO MANY times... is there a jealousy issue? Your g/f had you all to yourself and now she has to share your time with a baby. For some people, this can be a big adjustment... especially realising that the love you have for a child is different to the love you have for a partner.
Is she on any meds or does she see a councillor? It might be worth her having someone completely independent to talk to so that any issues such as her past abuse can be ironed out before the problems escalade. Catch problems while they are mole-hills... mountains are far harder to move.
All the best
I'd like to extend a warm welcome to you on your first visit to Healing Well! To help you get the most out of the Depression Forum please take the time to browse our threads.
You will find the members warm and caring and I hope that you will find the support you need right here in Healing Well.Again a Warm Welcome to you Viper.Kitt
Hey Viper and Baby T.
I really feel the two of you need to go to counseling to repair this relationship as there is much going on here. I am not sure I have the skills to be the person to be advising both of you on the same site.
Please consider professional therapy either together or separately.
I wish you the best and I hope you are able to repair your relationship.
I agree with Kitt on this one. No matter how much people say they can advise people seperately, there is always going to be a bias to a greater or lesser degree since you know that both people will read it. If, for example, I feel that one person is being very childish about the whole situation, it is then very difficult for me to comment when the other party is reading it.
I am not saying that only one of you deserves to be on HW, I am saying that advice should be treated with caution since it is at risk of being biased... especially since I believe both of you have friends here on the forum. I think this is much better sorted by councilling (Either together or seperate) as Kitt has suggested.
"Healing is an energy phenomenon. Hope is another word for Healing. "Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are""Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve""Im going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."
Post Edited (MMMNAVY) : 2/28/2008 7:16:08 AM (GMT-7)
I am sorry that Baby might be leaving you. But I think that she is really hurt right now. Maybe in time she will be doing better and you can get back to normal.
I wish you well, try to keep communications open for the childs sake.