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abandonmenot
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 2/24/2008 9:07 AM (GMT -7)   
I'm a college student who is facing a ton troubles right now and as a result it's really been affecting me emotionally and physically.

First and foremost, my boyfriend of 9 months broke up with me. We were very serious and talked about getting married, even looked at rings. This is absolutely devastating for me. I've been in relationships before but none like this. I can't imagine going on without him and I really don't want to (though the small sensible part of me tells me to get over it). It's just so hard though.

My mom just found out she has cancer (she's only in her 40's). She should be ok though.

My grandfather has been in and out of the hospital.

My uncle is being convicted of manslaughter.

I'm taking a very stressful courseload this semester. I've broken down crying more than once about it. I'm taking 15 classes, 10 of which meet frequently. On top of that, I don't even know if I want to keep my major anymore. I've been thinking about switching, but I'm about halfway through college and I'd have to start all over again.

I was having money issues for awhile and was unable to buy groceries but that seems to be over with now.

All of these issues have come up in the past month. My boyfriend, who means so much to me, just left me and wants nothing to do with me. He insulted my personality, saying I don't have a deep side and I'm immature. The fact that he won't even try to work out our issues (basically we spent too much time together... easily fixable) hurts a lot. He's says he loves me but he doesn't even want it to work. He talks about how other girls would make him happier than me. He just doesn't understand, I was never really happy until we got together. Each day things only got better and better. Sure the initial butterflies feeling left months ago for me, but the deeper love only got stronger and stronger.

All of these things keep happening to me! Except for the classes, I have absolutely no control over what goes on in my life anymore. All I see is hopelessness. My boyfriend, who should be supporting me at this difficult time in my life, doesn't even care anymore. I have friends that support me but I still feel all alone. I have thought of suicide quite a few times and while it's tempting, part of me wants to keep going. I guess I'm just scared to.

I've lost 15 pounds. I sleep 2-3 hours a night now and eat hardly at all. At the worst, I've gone 3 days without eating a thing. It's not that I don't want to eat or sleep. I've tried. I have no appetite and when I try to eat I get nauseous. I can't fall asleep at night even with over the counter sleeping pills and relaxing music. When I do fall asleep, I wake up a few hours later upset, and I can't sleep after that.

I went to my doctor and talked to him and he put me on Celexa. I've only been on it 3 days though so obviously I'm not going to feel the effects yet. He also urged me to get face-to-face counseling which I have not yet had on opportunity to do though I want to.

I just want my life back! I want to eat and sleep normally. I want to see every day as anything other than a black abyss. I want to see hope and a future. I want to stop crying every hour. I want my boyfriend back too but I don't think that's going to happen. I just want to be ME again!!

How can I deal with all this and not go crazy?

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 2/24/2008 10:35 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Abondonmenot,

It sounds like you are on the right course with medication and the counseling.  You definately have a full load right now and talking to somebody will help.  You might have to lighten your load up a little to continue. 

I am sorry about your relationship coming to an end, maybe a little space will help.  I see that he still loves you so it is hard to say what he will want next.  Maybe he will come back to you, you seem to be handling this well, it is only natural to cry about it.  So get it out.  This is normal.

I am sorry about your mom, what is the prognosis?  What type of cancer does she have?  Maybe it is something that surgery or some chemo will help.  I hope so.

You have come to a good place.  There are many understanding people here that will listen and give good advice.  Please keep posting let us know about your mom.  I hope that she can get better.

hugs,

Karen


  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Mochiah
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 450
   Posted 2/24/2008 5:35 PM (GMT -7)   

You have so much going on......

I really think you should meet up with Scotty66 and confused22, they are both in a similar situation to yours. 

You sound like you are taking the right course in getting on medication, unfortunatley, they do not always work quickly.  I hope the best for you and, please, keep posting and getting to know us, and us you. 


Mochiah/a.k.a. Sue
cervical fusion 2006
L4-5 surgery with cages, plates, and screws in 2005
MEDS:  Fentanyl patch, Norco, Celexa, trazodone, and baclofen
 
To handle yourself, use your head...to handle others, use your heart
 
I'm going to smile like nothing is wrong, act like everything is perfect, and pretend its not hurting me.


abandonmenot
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 2/24/2008 7:30 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you both. Just seeing that people that I don't even know would care means a lot, I'm actually tearing up right now.

My mom will hopefully be ok. She has thyroid cancer which is the most curable kind I've been told. Her thyroid was removed and now she has to go through radiation. She's been really upset about it too which of course upsets me, you've maybe heard the saying "if momma's not happy, nobody's happy".

I thought a lot today. I initially wanted to drop out of school altogether and resume in the fall when hopefully things would be more under control. But instead, I'm going to a drop a few of my courses and try to pull through. It's not like me to just give up but with the way things are it's so tempting.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 2/24/2008 8:46 PM (GMT -7)   

That sounds like a good idea.  It will keep your mind busy and you will still be gaining ground. 

I am glad that the survival rate is good with the type of cancer your mom has.  I think that the radiation treatment is a lot easier to weather than that of chemotherapy.  You don't get nearly as sick, though everybody is different as to the way that their bodies react.  A lot of people tolerate it well.  I wish the best for your mom.  I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers. 

What is your major in college?  I don't believe that you said.  I am glad that you are hanging in there, I think that lightening your load is a good idea.  You sure are taking a lot of classes. 

You sound like you have a good attitude, I think that helps a lot when you are under a lot of stress.  But it sounds like you are keeping it together.  Just keep hanging on, you are stronger than you think.  I can tell.

I hope that you have a great night.

Hugs,

Karen


  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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