Thanks for the sympathy :/ it's just so frustrating! I tried to talk to my mum about it but she can just sleep like *that* so she has no idea.. I keep getting so angry with myself for being so difficult, and I get angry every time I try and harm myself but it doesn't seem to do any good cause I do it again.. ergh :( :( It doesn't help that a year ago about now my boyfriend cheated on me, and from the signs he's doing it again.. UGGGGH! Sorry if I sound whiny.
You aren't being whiney. I am sorry that you are seeing the signs of cheating, and I hate to say it but it is woman's intuition, if you suspect it, you are usually on track. It is like a radar we have. You can tell. Have you confronted him about it? My late husband was one for that. The truth would always come out sooner or later, though he would never admit to anything. Just don't let him make you think that you are crazy, that is what mine use to do. I do have a good man now though, and I trust him truly.
I have gone through different stages with sleep. I use to have a hard time sleeping now I sleep easy. Almost too easy. But it is better than not. I was taking abilify and they had raised the dose. I couldn't sleep good so they cut it back down and now I do better. The last couple of days though I have been really fatigued, I am fighting taking a nap. If I do, I may not sleep tonight.
I hope you get a grip on the self harming, try to distract yourself when you get the urges to do so. Put on some music that you like and dance, or try to relax. Everything that you can to distract yourself from what you are wanting to do. You will only get angry at yourself afterwards and feel more depressed. That small feeling of relief doesn't last long enough to make it worth it. Do you see a therapist that you can talk to about it? I think that would do you some good. Just take some deep breaths when you get frustrated, you really can control this.
We aren't suppose to go into detail with this, but if you need to talk about it, you can email me. My address is in my profile. Just be careful not to say too much when you post, I am here to listen so like I say if you need to talk, just email me.