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Juliaa
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 131
   Posted 2/25/2008 11:08 AM (GMT -7)   

Some times my mind takes me back to other times. When I had a whole family and I was healthy.  When my daughter was a part of my life, and my marriage was happy. Then reality shows through.    The betrayal by those who said they would loved me forever.   Some discretely performed their treachery.  Smiles and hugs creating a false sense of security, then like a piñata, the lies open and fell from the sky.  It crashes your very soul when they hit you. Others were far more cruel, betraying me and enjoying causing the pain.  In an instant you loose everything.  In the after math we call it depression. How do you not feel sad when you loose your life.  It crushes you, sucking the air right out of you.  It is overwhelming.  Now my husband says he is angry with me because I am not “happy”.  That’s helpful.  Thanks for listening


DX:  Migraine; SLE;Depression; seizures; Sjogrens
 
Micardis, plaquenil,Prednisone, anti seziure drug,anti depressants


Juliaa
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 131
   Posted 2/25/2008 3:45 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanx It's hard to face when you lose so much. I had it together for a long while, but now I have to face that my daughter only wants me when she needs money and then is verbally abusive and writes me off. T'he last time it was for a few months this time I think its going to be much longer. I just can't seem to cope. I always belive that she cares and that things are getting better; then the rug is pulled out from under neath my life. I don't know what to do.
DX:  Migraine; SLE;Depression; seizures; Sjogrens
 
Micardis, plaquenil,Prednisone, anti seziure drug,anti depressants


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 2/25/2008 4:04 PM (GMT -7)   
That is so sad that your daughter does these things to you. Stop giving her money. See what happens. Maybe she will start to show you some respect if you put your foot down.

Keep posting, we are here for you.

hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Mochiah
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 450
   Posted 2/25/2008 5:54 PM (GMT -7)   
I will no longer give my daughter cash...She would give a sob story and I would give her money, then she would go to her father and get more, a family friend and more, ex-BF and got more, grandparents and get more.....we figured out that each time she came into town she would leave with at least $100....so I will no longer hand over cash. Now, if the baby needs pull-ups I will buy them or if he needs something else I will get it, but I will not hand her money. She has finally become more respectful of me and more careful with budgeting her own money. She no longer tries to guilt me into giving her things. I can't say she still doesn't break my heart sometimes, but I have to let her grow and make her own decisions and mistakes. I wish that were easier.
Mochiah/a.k.a. Sue
cervical fusion 2006
L4-5 surgery with cages, plates, and screws in 2005
MEDS:  Fentanyl patch, Norco, Celexa, trazodone, and baclofen
 
To handle yourself, use your head...to handle others, use your heart
 
I'm going to smile like nothing is wrong, act like everything is perfect, and pretend its not hurting me.


Juliaa
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 131
   Posted 2/27/2008 4:21 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you too everyone. My daughter says that I am a horrible person. She says that she doesn't believe that I have seizures as does her BF. She says I am making it up to excuse my behavior. Before getting on anti seizure meds,I had "fits" where my vocabulary was horrible. I feel so awful about that I can't even describe it too you. She has told everyone she knows that I am retched person and now most of my neighbors won’t speak to me due to the things she has said I’ve done. I do have seizures with memory loss and she has taken advantage of this in many deplorable ways. That being said I can’t do what all around me say to do and that is walk away. I cry every day and my husband is getting to where he can not deal with my depressive state, I don’t blame him. She needed a computer so we bought her one for the holidays. She spoke with me a few times after that and now won’t even return a phone call. I don’t call her much, twice actually. Once to help her school, but was ignored. Once, well I needed help I hit my head falling, she never called back. I know deep down that this is pathetic to want to be around someone who obliviously meant it when she said “I can’t stand looking at you, you disgust me.” She has said that and worse, she really does loath me. I just can’t figure out what I did that my own daughter would hate me. Thanks for listening.  Julia
 
 


DX:  Migraine; SLE;Depression; seizures; Sjogrens
 
Micardis, plaquenil,Prednisone, anti seziure drug,anti depressants


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 2/27/2008 4:40 PM (GMT -7)   
It doesn't sound like you can do anything to please your daughter, you can't help that. I think that it is her problem, not yours. If she is going to act that way, maybe it would be better if you did leave her alone for a while. You don't deserve that kind of treatment.

hugs,
Karen
  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Juliaa
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 131
   Posted 2/28/2008 5:54 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks everyone. By happen stance we had contact with my daughter last evening. It was a complete eye opener. I now know she is very conflicted because her BF " can't stand us." That she is so "emotionally distraught" that she can't "Deal with it". And feels alone without her family. Add it all up and Karen said it best, leaving her alone is best. She is in the very least confused and none of us deserve to be on the recieving end of her anger and abusive rants. It was at that moment last night after reading Karens thread that I really came to realize that nothing I do is going to change a thing. My daughter has made choices which are very hurtful to all of us, but to have her say in on breath how she is an adult and in the next say "do you know how hurtful it is to a child to have your dad say that to you." We have told her we will speak to her but not if she is being rude or nasty.
He told her he was hanging up due to her screaming and carring on. Point is , she's old enough to get married, she's old enough to accept responsiblilty for her actions. She then spoke to me, did much of the same and hung up on me. I can't help when she won't help herself.

Thanks again to everyone.

julia
DX:  Migraine; SLE;Depression; seizures; Sjogrens
 
Micardis, plaquenil,Prednisone, anti seziure drug,anti depressants


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 2/28/2008 6:22 AM (GMT -7)   
Julia

It is so hard when your children act like this.. I have been through so many situations with my kids... and you just want to scream and shake them.

I wish she would understand that if she is already having so much stress now before she is married,that it will probably just get worse after they are married.

At some point all you can do is let her learn..I know it is hard,and it breaks your heart but what else can you do.

Stay strong
Shy


Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

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