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scotty066
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 27
   Posted 2/26/2008 4:42 PM (GMT -7)   
i sent my x a email me the other day and idk what to do.she sent me back a email saying that she loves me but not the same as b4 she does miss me and that she still thinks of me everyday. she also said the she wants to hang out. i am very counfused at what to do. plz help me

Mochiah
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 450
   Posted 2/26/2008 5:04 PM (GMT -7)   
I really do not think that hanging out with her is in your best interest, it is just going to keep the wounds wide open and confuse you even more. She has just told you she doesn't feel the same way about you any more...a rather kind way of saying "hey buddy, let's be friends."

I know you are going to do what you want to, but I would advise you to really think long and hard about what this is going to do to you emotionally.
Mochiah/a.k.a. Sue
cervical fusion 2006
L4-5 surgery with cages, plates, and screws in 2005
MEDS:  Fentanyl patch, Norco, Celexa, trazodone, and baclofen
 
To handle yourself, use your head...to handle others, use your heart
 
I'm going to smile like nothing is wrong, act like everything is perfect, and pretend its not hurting me.


faithfully4you
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 2/26/2008 5:30 PM (GMT -7)   
THIS COMPUTER IS about TO GO THROUGH THE WINDOW!
 

As I stated in a reply that once again was heartfelt and true so here we go again.  There are many different things I feel are going on here.  If she is saying that she doesnt love you like she used to hen why want to "hang out" with you?  Does she want to be your friend?  I dont know that is what you want but it is clear that she will be "your friend" when it is good for her..


Teresa 

Post Edited (faithfully4you) : 2/26/2008 5:40:24 PM (GMT-7)


faithfully4you
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 2/26/2008 5:39 PM (GMT -7)   
Sorry, computer problems again.
 
Anyway what I am trying to say is this......in my situation he loves me like he did yesterday when we see each other the sparks are there every time.  I know that if  he could have the reasurance in me that he needs there is nothng that would keep him away from me.
 
That is why I do what I do and hang on to the day I see him again.  I have a hard time doing without him in my life and would take being parttime in his life as I had but he has chosen to stay away and it kills me because I love him more than life itself.
 
I guess if you know she loves you like my guy loves me then go after it with every bit of energy in you, if this love is questioned, maybe she doesnt want what you do.
 
Lead with your head and follow with your heart.


Teresa 


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40596
   Posted 2/26/2008 6:38 PM (GMT -7)   
If you do 'hang' with her, don't expect it to be more than a friendship, but I would be worried that she is going to start treating you badly again. Then what will you do? Are you going to be hurt again, or can you just walk away?

Think about it,
Karen
  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


djdaz_1985
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 2/27/2008 4:41 AM (GMT -7)   

I think the women here are right on the money... women are much better with language than men are and often the obvious meaning is not the intended one (In my experience). "she loves me but not the same as b4" = Lets be friends. If she does not love you the same as she did before, how can you have what you had before? Its just not possible.

At the end of the day, its your choice but like everyone else here, I think doing the friendship thing is going to keep wounds open for longer and it will take you longer to get over this.

Darren


Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
 
"A gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if your not enough without it, you will never be enough with it." - Irvine Blitzer (John Candy) in Cool Runnings
 
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ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 2/27/2008 5:56 AM (GMT -7)   
Scotty

It is easy to forget the pain when you want someone so badly...but, she still caused you pain and the second time around is not going to be any better.
Shy


Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia


faithfully4you
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 2/27/2008 9:50 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank daz,
You are right about how women percieve situations like this.  I thought about this overnight and I agree that I would question why she only wants to be your friend.  I am not sure how close you guys are but I will tell you this, I love my guy way too much just to be his friend, and he knows this that is why he stays away.  I was thinking that there have been so many times that I needed some help and I thought about calling him but I know in my heart when I see him, the fireworks are there right from the first look.
 
If you can be in a relationship where you can be JUST her friend, I wish you well on this.  I cant help but think that maybe she doesnt have the two of you together in her future.
 
I hope I am wrong.
Teresa 

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