I am so sorry to hear about your situation. We are here to support you. I am glad that you are putting money away for this situation. It is sad that you have to do that but it is a good idea just in case.
Addiction is a disease and I know that it is hard to live with, especially when it could cause you to lose your home. Is there anyway you could get him some help? Would he talk to somebody if you ask him to? Do you have children?
I hope that we can help you through this. Just remember that we are here for you. Write and let us know what is going on at this time.
Post Edited By Moderator (ShynSassy) : 3/4/2008 5:56:07 AM (GMT-7)
I am so sorry that you had to find this out. Boys your son's age are full of hormones at that time. Actually they are on their way to becomming young adults. It is kind of like buying a smutty magazine use to be. I think you have to explain to him the risks of diseases with promiquity (sp) and to take saftey precautions. I know that this is hard for you, and you worry about the type of people that he is around to cause this behavior. But I think that talking to him is the best thing to do, and do it when you have cooled down from this. I would be so much more worried if it were a girl, not that you shouldn't be worried. That is only natural. But I think that the most important issue at this point would be to talk to him about responsibility about his actions and stress the importance of safe sex. And tell him not to download the pictures on your computer. What he is doing can become and addiction issue, so find out if he is doing this out of curiousity or a feeling of need to see.
I hope that this helped you some, hopefully somebody will come along with some better answers.
"Am I making mountains out of mole hills?"
The answer to this depends on the values and rules that exist in your house. From a personal point of view, I would not worry about it too much. Its much cleaner and safer than the real thing and it is a natural curiosity thing for boys that age. Keep an eye on it to make sure that it doesnt get out of hand and perhaps try talking to him if that is an option.
I don't think you are making mountains out of molehills. I know the that it is hard with your husbands addiction problems. Your bil is making it tense with his actions towards your son. I think that this is putting a lot of stress on you. Then to find your son with the websites on your computer. I think that it was just the straw that broke the camels back so to speak. Your son is naturally curious, but yes, that is a lot of websites to be downloading on the computer. Tell him to go out and get a magazine, it will last him longer,LOL> Though this is not laughing matter. But step back, take a deep breath and try to relax, it will help to make this much easier to handle. In the meantime, we are here for you, so vent, vent, and vent some more. I love the fact that you have the unconditional love of your dog. I have two and there are times that I wouldn't know what to do without them. They are so comforting.
I wish you luck with this situation. Keep posting.
luv and hugs, Karen
I think that you are a good wife and mother, you can't be responsible for somebody elses actions. You can only do so much so please don't think that you have failed, because you haven't. You are just facing some hurdles right now do to other's behavioral issues.
Take that deep breath and try to relax, you will be feeling stronger in no time. I am afraid that if you don't relax you will end up more depressed. And this is a situation that is no means your fault. You are doing the best that you can, and that is all that you can do. You can't change what other people are doing and trying to cope with all of this can be so taxing.
Try to do something relaxing like a nice bath or reading a good book, whatever makes you feel comfortable. You will in that way be able to recharge your battery so to speak. Then it will be so much easier to handle the situation at hand.
Are you getting any counseling to help you deal with what is going on? I think that would help you so much. In the meantime, keep posting. We are hear for you. I was reading on the anxiety forum, there is a thread that has something to do with coping skills. I can't remember right now what it is called. I think the person who wrote it is called Mystruggle. If you get a chance, take a few minutes and read the thread. It has some very good information on coping skills and relaxation. I think that it would benefit you.
Luv and hugs, Karen
Good deal Bionca,
I am so glad that you stood up to them and layed the rules down. It is only fair that they respect the rules of the house. I am so glad that your husband has stopped the drugs. Though it might not be easy for a while. Hopefully he wont go back to them. There is usually a hard withdrawal period, depending on what it was. That sometimes comes after a few days. But like you said, ONE DAY AT A TIME. You can do this, you are a lot stronger than you think you are. I wish you much success.
Have a wonderful day.
Im glad that you have had a good day in your house and that you have taken control of your home. It sounds like things are moving forward and that is what everyone deserves. I hope it continues for you and congrats to your husband!