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armyangel74
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 38
   Posted 3/6/2008 8:07 AM (GMT -7)   
i just wanted to thank everyone for the great welcoming...as for my husband he still swears it's totally innocent that he doesn't have any feeling for this girl..she's just a friend but he did promise me not to have any more contact with her, and he's wanting to work on our marriage, but it's hard since he's getting ready to redeploy in the next few months so thats just another added stress point for me...i guess i'll start working out again and trying to find myself...i think thats another issue for me, i've lost my identity since we got married...becoming an army wife is a pain...plus i have to understand i can't be supermom/wife and express my feelings in a more positive way....i'm feeling better today though, i know it's going to be an uphill battle but i'm a pretty positive person for the most part....
~*~ Heather~*~
~*~ Proud Infantry Wife and Mom~*~


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40583
   Posted 3/6/2008 9:23 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Heather, I understand that feeling of loss of identity. When I was in my first marraige, my husband was doing the same thing with a coworker. But kept it hid. I read some of the things that were written back and forth but he didn't know that. Then there was a rumor about the two of them. I overlooked it and it did go away, but it really hurt me. We never did discuss it though because I wasn't suppose to be reading through his stuff.

I did go through being so and so's wife. Instead of myself. But then we were spending less and less time together. He was always doing things with friends. I was always left home. But I started walking my dogs for exercise, people would eventually see me as the dog lady. But at least I did have my own identity. And of course he got jealous of that. Eventually I did go out and get a job which really helped my self esteem. Though with you having children, that may not be possible. But I would say to find something that you like to do and do it. Some type of hobby or some group contact. This will build up your own self esteem and reinforce your identity. You do have that here Heather, this group can help to make you who you are. Good luck with this, you sound like you have the ball rolling and we will be here to help you make it through.

Luv and hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


eviltang
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 64
   Posted 3/6/2008 10:29 AM (GMT -7)   
I am glad you are feeling better Heather.

Have you tried to get together with other army wives? I bet alot of them are going thru the same issues you are. Having people around you who understands can be helpfull. Maybe you can start a walking group of wives and the kids.

Hope you have a great day
Christy
DX: Sarcoidosis, Addisons Disease, Renal Insufficiency, IBS, GERD, Hashimoto Thyroiditis, Degenerative Disc Disease, Autoimmune Hepatitis, Hypoglycemia, Secondary Raynauds, Erythema Nodosum, Migraines, Depression
 
RX: Effexor XR , Zebeta, Flonase ,ASA, Hydrochlothiazide, Hydrocortisone, Tramadol, Naproxen,  Prevacid, Gabapentin, Levothroxine, Tricor, Actonel, Oxygen  
 
 
 


Gillcom
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 272
   Posted 3/6/2008 10:40 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Angel,

Welcome to our forum.

I agree with Christy, that sounds like a good idea to me and maybe you could support each other. It could be fun too.

Gillian x
Ileostomy - Feb 05, Hernia on site.
Fluoxetine - 20mg March 05 - july 06
Citalipram - 20mg July 06 - upped to 40mg now.


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 3/7/2008 5:42 AM (GMT -7)   
Heather

I am so glad that he decided to end contact with her,hopefully now he understands that you don't need that stress in your life.

Wives of men in the army are so strong,I don't know how they do it.

Kudos to you and remember we will be here for you whenever you need us.
Shy


Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia


MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 3/7/2008 7:31 AM (GMT -7)   
Heather,
If you want to I still would suggest seeing Chaplain Epperly (he is an Marriage and Family therapist) and a good egg. However he is also leaving soon so possibly he can establish a program for you, even if he isn't the one to carry it out. I want to have a structure in place for you to go to when your hubby redeploys, because I know that is an extremely stressful time.
Take Care,
Navy
Forum moderator

We will find a way, or make one.-Hannibal (crossing the Alps in the 15th Century on war elephants)
Praise in public, chew in private.
Make sure your suffering has meaning....

Post Edited (MMMNAVY) : 3/7/2008 7:34:32 AM (GMT-7)


armyangel74
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 38
   Posted 3/7/2008 9:19 AM (GMT -7)   
Yea I actually talked to our battalion chaplain about marriage counseling and he's trying to get us into some of the programs they have here on post, but with all the training my husband's company is doing it's such a pain trying to schedule stuff...these are the times when I really don't like the army but I can't complain since it does no good. I've also checked out some of the civilian counseling centers but everyone is so overbooked right now with guys coming home to a lot of junk and alot of guys leaving with issues, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that we find something soon...
~*~ Heather~*~
~*~ Proud Infantry Wife and Mom~*~


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 3/7/2008 5:27 PM (GMT -7)   
Like I said before I can't imagine what you are going thru... so strong that is for sure.

Just handle what you know you can handle that day... then move on to the next problem. At some point that is all we can do.
Shy


Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia


MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 3/8/2008 10:13 AM (GMT -7)   
Heather,
You hit the nail right one the head, with everyone being overbooked because of the huge amount of people coming through this area. I hope things are getting better.
Navy
Forum moderator

We will find a way, or make one.-Hannibal (crossing the Alps in the 15th Century on war elephants)
Praise in public, chew in private.
Make sure your suffering has meaning....

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