Post Edited (faithfully4you) : 3/7/2008 4:35:12 AM (GMT-7)
I feel your pain in your words but you have made progress. I believe you understand that he is not coming back and when your ready you will move on. You are still grieving for this loss and for the loss of the dreams, for the plans you want to make but sweetie, he is not going to come back and you must keep working on moving on.
We are always here to read and no we do not understand how you feel as we are not you but many of us have experienced gut wrenching losses that have crippled us and changed the direction of our entire life and we never saw it coming.
Was it our fault, well we did blame ourselves until we found therapists that helped us understand we cannot control the world and sometimes we don't control ourselves to well. I promise you there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Please keep taking babysteps toward that light for you see that is all of us holding candles up for you to show you the way.
If I could take your snow away for you, I would! We get very little snow here in the UK (Other than the far north) Please know that you have many friends here and we all care about you very much. One day, your life will be smooth running and you will be helping other people here. You have a faith inside you that a lot of people dont. You are a fantastic person.