Hi there Outsider,
I know a little about OCD and how disabling it can be for people. OCD regarding the fear of contamination is a very common one so please dont feel that you are alone with this. With regards to a therapy, I would talk to your doctor about Cognitive behavioural Therapy (CBT). It is a therapy that (in essence) re-trains your brain to think about things in a different way. Exposure would inevitably be part of most therapies for your problem and I understand that you see them as scary at the moment. But your therapist wont push you further than you can manage. By the time you get to exposure, you will be better prepared. It will still seem scary but not as bad as it does now. (Does that make sense?!) As for meds, I cant help im afraid.
Please keep talking to us.
Thanks, and I am sorry about the ‘outsider’ thing; it’s just the way that I often feel. My name is Stephen.
I researched some information about the medicines that you mentioned, but I don’t thing that these are really for me. I am currently considering speaking to a psychiatrist about other medicines. I probably should go to the behavior therapy clinic at the university hospital that I visited a few years ago, but the exposure part still scares me a lot and I also hate to let people down. I worry that I will fail and it will look, to my family, like I just didn’t really try. It seems like OCD is in that big gray area between ‘will power’ and ‘chemical control’ that is hard to define or explain to others. It seems that feelings are much stronger than the mind, or rational knowledge. And if we try to deny it, then the feeling will just sneak around and surprise us in some other way. Maybe I will eventually get up the courage to try the behavior program. I’m getting old and I’ve been in this rut for a long time; it is getting difficult to imagine being any other way, but maybe.