Post Edited By Moderator (djdaz_1985) : 3/21/2008 12:26:30 PM (GMT-6)
Hi there Prettybaby,
Like Karen, I was wondering if you are seeing any kind of councilling (either for yourself or as a couple) or whether you have spoken to a doctor about starting councilling? Very often (As Karen has said) our gut is right, but this is not the sort of thing you can just go with your gut on unless you are VERY sure. I think Karen has given you some great advice about concentrating on your schoolwork. Is this something you can approach in a general conversation with your boyfriend to help ease your mind?
With all that you are describing, it really sounds like you should talk to another counselor. Nobody should handle these things on their own without help. So try to find somebody to talk to for your own well being.
In the meantime do keep posting, we are here to help you if we can.
It sounds like you have the same problem as many, you obsess about things when you are depressed. I have that problem too, but with help of medications, I have gotten a grip on it. You could too. There are so many medications out there that help these days.
Post Edited By Moderator (ShynSassy) : 3/22/2008 6:52:58 AM (GMT-6)
Welcome to HW. This forum is so supportive and I hope that you stick around
You have definitely been through a lot, so first, give yourself a break. I can relate to how depression (I'm bipolar) affects a relationship. My bf and I have lived together for 2 years, and it gets really tough--especially when I'm depressed. about a year ago, I was referred to a support group (by my pdoc) for my bipolar symptoms. I've been dealing with depression since I was a teen, I'm 26 now. The support group taught me how to cope. Before that point in my life, I really wasn't doing anything to help myself heal. The reason I am telling you this is to point out how helpful therapy can be, but it's vital to find something effective. You should be proud of yourself for moving out of a toxic home, and for seeking counselling in the past. We all have our reasons for stopping counselling; sometimes it just doesn't work. But I believe with time and the right counsellor, you can begin to heal.
So--I completely agree w/gettingby and Darren. Take the step to seek counselling, and it's okay to ask your new counsellor what they deal with. I've recently requested that my counsellor have a strong knowledge of bipolar so they can help me with all of my issues, b/c like you I am also insecure, but my counsellor needs to understand how my bp symptoms affect my isecurity and almost everything else in my life. I don't know if you have a psychiatrist?? If you do, you might want to ask him/her if there are any other options for therapy. I think you definitely need someone with the right background. Someone who deals with abuse issues, understands depression and PTSD.
I really hope you and your bf find a balance in how to live together through all of this. The depression definitely feeds the insecurity; the depression makes all those thoughts appear and seem so intense. Keep us posted and I send you many warm hugs.
Post Edited (prettybaby19) : 3/25/2008 1:02:03 PM (GMT-6)
I wish that I could come up with some answers for you, like setting an alarm or something, but the truth be known, I am feeling the same way as you. I find that I easily sleep at least 12 hours lately and like you I feel yucky. I live in northern Michigan and we have had the longest winter. Today we got another 4 inches of snow. Plus it is wanting to rain now. It was super windy. I guess that is the month of March for us. I have a problem with fatigue, so I take adderall during the day. It keeps me from sleeping all of the time and I am able to move around more which makes me feel better.
I can't remember if you are taking anti depressants. They can often help you by giving you a little energy. I take effexor, some people get sleepy but most don't and it doesn't seem to cause any weight gain for me.
I hope that this helps you some, I am sorry about the venting, just couldn't help it. Atleast you know that you are not alone with this.
I hope that you feel better soon and have a wonderful day.