New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

mistyflower
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 3/25/2008 2:50 PM (GMT -7)   
I am a forty year old woman who has been depressed on and off in her life. My dream was to have a great career, husband, and child. None of this happened. I'm accepting it might never happen. I feel like a child. Right now have no job and collect general assistance which is very little. I am living with my parents who are Italian and from another generation where get out of whatever your in to survive is their motto. I have suicidal ideation at least once a day, sometimes lasting for an hour. I do see a psychiatrist and therapist now for a year. Changed my medication to Cymbalta 60mgs 6 weeks ago. Sleep well no anxiety, but very depressed. I feel that it is to late for me sometimes. I have gone back to school twice, once to finish my BA in Liberal arts, then a med tech vocation school. Straight A student, do very well in school, alway have. But when I get to a job, feel overwhelmed. the med tech training was not very good, that was my last attempt at working at a pedicatric docs loffice, anxious about everything. shots, easy thing like taking blood pressure I sucked at too.
Just venting....
How do I get out of the worst Depression of my life. I do exercise 3 times a week and eat fairly healthy, But still hate my boring invisible self.
 
Mia

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40599
   Posted 3/25/2008 3:40 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Misty,

I am sorry to hear that you struggle so.  I want to welcome you to HW depression forum.  You will find that you are among some very understanding people.  They are very caring and compassionate here.

I am so happy that you are going to counseling.  It may take a little longer for your cymbalta to really start working, but I would mention to the doctor or therapist that you are having suicidal thoughts daily.  It could be due to your medication.  So please mention that.

Please don't think that it is too late for anything.  I am 49 and learn something new most everyday.  So don't give up on your dreams.  I never had children, but my husband did. And I can tell you honestly that I get so much joy out of my grandchildren that I wouldn't know what to do without them now.

So please don't give up and keep in mind that we are here for you.

hugs, Karen


  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


mistyflower
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 3/26/2008 4:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Karen,
 
Thank you so much for those words of Encouragement. I had a better day than ususal today. My psychologist feels that I need more intensive therapay and are referring me to a day program. I am hesitant because I hear there are some really mentally sick people in these programs. I don't want to be in a place where people are talking to themselves. I do respect individuals with who are highly disfunctional mentally, but I want to be with people who are similar in circumstance to myself.
It was nice to hear that you enjoy and love your grandchildren so much. I would surely not mind dating a man with children of his own. At this time, I'm not sure anyone wants to date me. I have no money or career and the men I meet are looking for stability. They don't understand Depression. If I had diabetes, it would be fine...there is still a stigma for being down and low about life.
I don't think I'd be so depressed if I had a man accept me and love me for who I am.
 
Misty

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40599
   Posted 3/26/2008 5:28 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Misty,

Please don't sell yourself short like that.  I found a good man and I not only suffer from depression and anxiety, but I also have fibromyalgia and there are days that I can't do anything at all.  And I never know when that will be.  You wake up each day not knowing if you are going to be capable of anything or not.  So it is very unpredictable with me.  It drives me crazy but he still handles it.  Actually better than I do. 

You never know how the day program will go unless you go.  I think that you should try, and you can always not go back if it isn't for you.  So please listen to your therapist and give it a shot and see what it is like.  You might meet somebody there that you like and could make new friends.

There are so many depressed people these days that I think it has become more accepted.  And Misty, it isn't what you have that makes a person.  It is who you are and if you meet somebody worthwhile, that is what really counts.  So don't sell yourself short.  You sound like a very nice person and I think that when the time is right, you will find that person.

Keep enjoying your day.  It was nice here and mine was better also.  I have been struggling lately and this was a much better day.

hugs, Karen


  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


mistyflower
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 3/27/2008 1:54 PM (GMT -7)   
Karen,
when you first met your husband, were you suferring from Depression?
I hate living with my parents right now, but I have no choice. I'd be homeless without them. BUT..sometimes they just push me over the edge.
I see the psychologist on Wednesday/my parents are coming too. I want a normal life like everyone else, if I can't have one I might as well be dead inside.

Misty

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40599
   Posted 3/27/2008 5:09 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Misty,

Yes I was suffering from depression.  I had just lost my first husband to lung cancer.  Actually my present husband was a friend of myself and my first husband. 

I was also suffering with fibromyalgia.  We were friends at the time.  But later fell in love. 

After my first husband died, I started a business.  It was a plant nursery and a floral shop.  I was depressed but didn't have the fibro.  I had just gotten to the place where I wanted the business to be and everything started going wrong. 

My present husband and I just got married in December.  This is over seven years since my first husband died.  He watched me suffer with severe depression and the fibromyalgia on top of that.  He was there for me as much as possible.  I spent two years in bed with the fibro.  He forced me to get out of that bed and try to do things, knowing that all I wanted to do was sleep.  He told me I would end up in a nursing home if I didn't get out.  I finally started to see a psychiatrist who helped me with medications.  He use to drive me everywhere, do my shopping and pick up my medications.  Finally he got me out for walks, and gradually I started to get better.  I am no means healed as you would say but I have all my symptoms under control.  So yes, he knew I was depressed and very sick, but stuck it out.  And he saw me at my lowest and still stuck by.  He could of stayed away, but he didn't.  I still don't know what he sees in me, but there must be something there.  And he even puts up with my two dogs.  I consider myself really lucky to have a man that cares so much.  I know he could of walked away at any time but he didn't.  I get a very small pension, so I barely contribute at all financially.  He does most of the cooking and the shopping.  I try to do what I can, but there are days that I can't do nothing at all and he never complains.  I am 49 years old so I am no spring chicken.  So it must be love. 

So there are men out there who can love you for who you are no matter what the short comings might be.  They love you for you, not what you have or how you look, or what you are capable of.  They just love you.  I know that I don't have one of a kind.  So there will be somebody for you.  When the time is right.  So don't ever give up.  It all seemed to work out for me.  It isn't perfect, but it is good.

I wish you the best,

Luv and hugs, Karen


  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Friday, December 09, 2016 2:32 PM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,735,497 posts in 301,310 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151413 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, MamaPhoenix.
339 Guest(s), 16 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
robotguy, Thankuall, therearemiracles, tickbite666, dismissed, 1000Daisies, Girlie, reminder, getting by, NiceCupOfTea, Jingles1234, Madcat25, quincy, k07, gilly2, Peter A


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer