How do I cope.....

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New Member

Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 3/25/2008 8:10 PM (GMT -6)   
I hate turning in to a woe is me, but I have.  I've had alot going on in my life in the past year.  I was very hopeful that 2008 would be a new year and a new beginning and I figured I had had my fare share of "bad" luck.  Well 2008 is not getting any better, and I'm having a tough time. 
4/11/07 my 43 year old husband suffers a heart attack.  Thankfully he has made a full recovery and is doing ok.
5/4/07 my 51 year old uncle, whom I was very close to, dies unexpectedly of a heart attack.
Summer 07 - work my regular "day job" and help in the evening and weekends at my father's dairy farm as he and my uncle had run it together.
10/13/07 my 17 year old son is involved in a relatively bad car accident.  Fortunately he had no head trauma,no internal injuries, and no spinal injuries.  However, he suffered a compound fracture of his tibia and fibula, dislocated his ankle and now has seven screws and a plate in his leg.  Senior in HS - BIG sports guy.  Missed his last two football games (attended in a wheel chair).  Then he had to miss the entire hockey season, the team still tried to include him, however, after it became a reality that he would not be returning to the ice this season, he stopped wanting to be a part.  His doctor has however now released him to play lacrosse - tough, but he's trying.
12/11/07 all hell breaks loose at work - bad karma!  Small office, 7 people.  2 vs 5.  The 2 managed to have the boss forced in to resignation.  Now our subcontractor is on a rampage of attempting to dictate how we the lead agency operates.  What a mess!!! 
12/11/07 because of the crap at work, I lost it and could not stop crying - I had been having a tough time with the other "stuff" in my life - husband, uncle, son....then this division and war type atmosphere.  Now without a "boss" until a new one is found, the place is basically unbearable.
On 12/11/07 as I broke down and cried and cried - I called my doctor and got right in.  She put me on Zoloft and referred me to a counselor.  The medicine has helped as I don't cry at the drop of a hat any more.  I tried counselling for about 2 months, but the counselor and I just did not completely click.  I felt she was questioning some of my beliefs, and I was not comfortable with that.  Anyways - work then got more out of control and my excuse was it was too hard to get time off work. 
I'm getting scared, I'm not turning the corner.  I have lost interest - in everything.  I can't sleep at night, yet when I finally fall asleep, I can't get up in the morning and I just want to stay in bed  and not do anything.  For example this Sunday I made myself get up at 10 am, did a load of laundry, made lunch took a shower, and fell back to sleep for most of the afternoon.  What is up with me????? 
What a crappy feeling, I don't like this!!  I feel so worthless, unimportant.  Not suicidal because I would not do that to my kids.  But I'm crapping out on them, my 18 year old tries to be so independent yet my 8 year old is missing out because mom is
not mom . 
Sorry for rambeling....where do I to next?

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40386
   Posted 3/25/2008 8:58 PM (GMT -6)   

Hi Cno111,

Boy oh boy, you have had a plate full. 

I forgot, I want to welcome you to the HW depression forum.  I think you will find it comforting here and hopefully we can help you.  If nothing else, it is a good place to vent.

First of all, can you get another counselor?  I have had some before that I didn't gel with and found a new one.  I have had more good ones than bad though.  There is always that option.  And I think at this point, you need some one on one counseling, it makes life so much easier to have somebody to talk to.

Are you financially able to take some time off of work.  Maybe you could take a leave of absence.  At least until your father can get something figured out for the farm.  Or do you plan to continue to help him?

I know that you have been through a lot and it is so difficult.  But I would take things one day at a time.  If you can lighten the load some I think that would be good.  But try not to make too many hastey decisions without weighing out the consequences first.  But if you could take some stress off it would help.  I really hope that you try to find a different counselor.  I think that is so important right now. 

I hope that this helps some. 

Hugs, Karen

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 3/26/2008 5:05 AM (GMT -6)   

Hi there cno111 and Welcome to HealingWell!

That certainly is a run of bad luck. I think in order to move on, you need to sort out all these smaller problems that are making up the bigger picture. Make a list of everything that needs solving. Then prioritise them and give yourself a realistic timescale to solve them. If you can, write the solution down as well. Some of your problems wont have solutions other than accepting that it is something you cannot change. (Like the problems at work for example.) As you sort these things out hopefully the stress and strain will lessen and you will feel better. Does that sound viable?


Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
"A gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if your not enough without it, you will never be enough with it." - Irvine Blitzer (John Candy) in Cool Runnings
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