Ok, now I'm scared...

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Defrostmode
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 4/7/2008 4:55 PM (GMT -7)   
and it's making me sick and making me get migraines (or making them worse, however you want to look at it)...

while I have this going on...



I also have found out that I WILL be working that job that I'm having serious problems with (because of migraines, hearing, and bad memory... and the whole childcare issue) until they find a replacement (which they have been looking for quite some time before me... so I don't think they will for a while) before I can transfer to the other 'department'...
I also am hearing inklings that I will lose my part time job, because I have this one, even though I am taking care of everything still... and I might end up with neither...

I have a feeling that I will lose the job because of mistakes I will make and things I'll forget in between them finding someone and me transferring to a job I'm SURE I can do...

I'm scared about the whole brain MRI... and that noone else seems to know what I'm talking about in the other post (on here or other sites. Or in real life)...

I need this (or a) job... I am getting anxious about everything... and everything just seems to be getting worse.

I have six serious reasons (my wife and my kids) to keep on going... which is usually more than enough for me to trudge through anything... but right now I just don't feel up to doing anything... not going to work... not having my labwork (re)done. not doing the MRI, or the followup doctors appointment...

I just want to lay somewhere and cry... and, even though I think she would understand (to a degree)... I don't want to tell my wife all this... I feel so worthless. I feel my life is just here to make everyone else's mistakes seem smaller... so they can say "well at least I haven't screwed up everything as bad as him!"... "I would have done something to protect my family financially before I found out about a problem with MY brain".

... all these awful thoughts are entering my mind about myself... and nothing good... I havent been this... depressed for years. probably more than 10...

... I just feel I should give up....

Post Edited (Defrostmode) : 4/8/2008 8:44:09 AM (GMT-6)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40598
   Posted 4/7/2008 5:34 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Defrostmode,

Whatever you do, don't give up.  You have been working at everything for so long now.  Try to take this one day at a time.  That is all that you can do.

You need to get to the bottom of the health issues and now is no time to stop.  But try to take this as it comes.  I know that it isn't easy and you are feeling down on yourself.  But you can't predict what is going to happen in life. 

I couldn't get to your post.  I may have typed it in wrong, but I am assuming it is about your headaches.  Correct me if I am wrong. 

And I can see that there is stress involved, a lot of it.  But don't add to that by worrying.  As all I know to say is to take things as they come and keep trucking along. 

I hope that you can get some answers.  I understand that this is very difficult.  But please keep trying for your and your family's sake.  You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Karen


  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40598
   Posted 4/7/2008 5:45 PM (GMT -7)   
Defrostmode,

I went to migraines and read your post. I still think that you should try to take this one day at a time. The added stress could make the situation worse for you, there is no good that can come out of worrying.

Try to relax and wait for your tests to come. Then take it from there.

Again I am sorry for what all you are dealing with at this time and you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


froggy1011
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 135
   Posted 4/7/2008 7:35 PM (GMT -7)   
Defrostmode,

Well, I'm not so experienced in migranes, seeing that i'm only 16 yrs old, but i have had migranes before. I read your post in migranes, and I don't know about you, but the whole tunnel sounding thing where everything sounds like some weird... humming noise?.. well maybe more of a hmmm... yah i guess a rumbling noise. I went to my docs, and they really didn't know why. They said that many people get different symptoms for migranes than others and left me with that. I don't get migranes often, I just remember when i get migranes, it sounds pretty similar to what i experienced. I really hope that the whole thing with your eye and ear turn out to be nothing and that your life straightens out. Good luck!

Froggy
~"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us." ~Helen Keller


Defrostmode
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 4/7/2008 9:59 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm trying not to read too much into it all, now... thought I'd relax for the evening.

I watched "Phenomenon" for some reason... and, believe it or not, it made me feel a little better!

... I am still nervous (to say the LEAST) about the job though... I can almost guarantee that I will lose the job before they find a replacement. and thats not even being negative.

on a different note: what (general) part of Colorado are you from, froggy? I'm mostly curious, partially because it seems in the part of Colorado I'm in migraines seem to be pretty darn common... some of us just get more than others.

froggy1011
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 135
   Posted 4/8/2008 12:48 AM (GMT -7)   
I live around the Centennial, Aurora area. Maybe it's the high altitude, although i've lived here all my life. haha luck of the draw i guess you lose some and you lose some more...
~"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us." ~Helen Keller


Defrostmode
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 4/10/2008 7:45 PM (GMT -7)   
so... Even though my ear is rumbling and I have a 'slight' migraine (if any migraine can be called slight) and I had my MRI today so I will find out Monday if they learned anything from that... I'm hoping they do find a reason... but one that can be fixed (or 'covered up') or at least not kill me...

But, I've got good news today...

They found a replacement for the old job before I even had to work even 1 more day there! I go in tomorrow to sign the transfer paperwork to go to the other department! I am so excited and it will work so much better for me!

I thought I'd tell you all as it has relieved SO MUCH stress off of me!

froggy1011
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 135
   Posted 4/10/2008 8:59 PM (GMT -7)   
i'm glad everything worked out so well, and i hope your tests come back negative, or atleast what you said, something not very serious. It's good that you don't feel so stressed now. I think stress makes migranes worse! Best of luck to you defrostmode!

froggy
~"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us." ~Helen Keller


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40598
   Posted 4/10/2008 9:39 PM (GMT -7)   
HI Defrostmode,

I am so happy that the job worked out for you. I know that is what you were hoping for. Hopefully your mri will be fine also. I will keep my fingers crossed for you. Try to relax until the results come back.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 4/16/2008 1:23 PM (GMT -7)   
bump
 
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic 
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 

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