Mood swings and More!

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Sadsong
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 344
   Posted 4/9/2008 6:29 AM (GMT -7)   
I've taken the week off from work, since I was getting burnt out.  There's been a lot going on.  So, I'm trying to catch up on things I need to do (i.e. laundry, washing dishes, etc.) but it's such a nice day out that I don't want to do any of that kinda of stuff, I just want to get outside and enjoy myself!  Maybe I'm buy some violets to brighten up this place! 
 
I haven't gotten much done this week at all!  But, I did finally post my wedding dress on ebay.  I bought it 10 years ago, and I finally got up enough courage to sell it.  I've been meaning to, but there's been a part of me that doesn't want to revisit the fact that he called off the wedding, since he couldn't see himself walking down the aisle with me.  On some level that still hurts.  So, I'm trying to hold it together, but I've been an emotional wreck lately.  
 
I went home to visit my folks and that usually sets me off.  Went I came back, I cried and cried for so many different reasons.  I've also been starting to meet some of my boyfriend's friends.  I haven't really dated much and this is the first time since the ex-finance, that I've fallen for someone.  So, that's also an emotional strain.  I love him, but I don't want to get hurt again.  So, my guard is up at times, which he completely understands.  Plus, he has some issues of his own, just not in the relationship dept. 
 
I've also started taking birth control pills, since we don't want to get pregnant, which are completely &^%$*=# with my system.  One day I don't want to get off the couch, the next I don't want to eat anything at all, but have a ton of energy.  Whereas today, I'm kinda listless and sad.  The last time I was on them was when I was when I was with my ex and it made me really paranoid and depressed.  I've been on celexa for about six months now, which has really helped keep my depression in check, but I'm worried that the pill will throw my tentative equilibrium out of wack.  

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 4/9/2008 8:01 AM (GMT -7)   

Sadsong's say so much,

Every single time I see your name I think of that song.  I just can't help it. 

Is there another birth control pill that you could try?  Or do they all do that to you.  I feel bad about that.  When I took the pill, I had no trouble with moods.  In fact it made me feel good.  But I know it isn't always that way with everybody.

I am glad you are getting yourself some flowers.  That is always a nice pick me up.  I just love plants and flowers, but I use to have a floral shop and it made me feel so good to deliver them to people because of all the smiles.

It is only natural that you are going to keep your guard up a little with this new guy.  And I am glad that he understands. 

As Shy always says, you need to get to the bottom of the reason that you are depressed.  Are you going to any counseling?  That would be a start.  Or do you think that it is from the hormones in the birth control pill?  Either way, I wish you well.  I hope that you can get a grip on the mood swings.  I take abilify and that helps me a lot.  It keeps me leveled out and keeps me from obsessive thinking.  That might be something to look into.  It might counteract your moodiness.  But all in all, it sounds like you aren't doing too bad.  And I am happy that you hve the good moods.  You just need to have more good ones than bad.

Taking some time off of work is a nice break.  Do things that you enjoy doing for a while as you are playing catch up at home.  That should help you to feel better when you get everything pretty much under control.

Have a wonderful day, and keep posting.

I hope that this helped some.

hugs, karen


  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Sadsong
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 344
   Posted 4/9/2008 9:04 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Karen,

I've only been on the pill for a little over a week and I'm told it'll take about three months until everything evens out. I just hope I can make it! I am looking forward to not worring about becoming pregnant, getting rid of cramps, and having a regular cycle. Hopefully, my mood will stablize too. I have an appointment with my therapist this afternoon, so it'll be good to be able to talk about a lot of what I've been dealing with over the past month. At one point we had considered that I might be bipolar, but mania is one of the side effects of celexa - go figure. Plus, I've had a UTI for the past week, in which put me in the ER on Friday. So, it's been a bit of a crazy week!

Friday I felt like crap, but Joe came over with a pizza and movies and just held me which was great. Saturday I felt a lot better, so we went to a museum, an expo, visited with some friends of his, watched part of the Red Sox game, went out to lunch and went to a comedy show. It was a great day! Then Sunday, I pretty much slept the entire day, was moody on Monday. Had a ton of energy yesterday, in which I made him a CD and then went grocery shopping, where I completely blew my budget. I should never go shopping when hungry...

And today, I'm having a really hard time getting off the couch. I think it's because I actually don't have anything formally planned. I always seem to do better when I have set plans with someone else. But, this week I've really been winging it, which can actually set me off to a downward spiral. Yesterday, I was good, but not today. I wonder what was different. It's cloudy outside, but is suppose to be warm. I had wanted to go snowboarding, but it costs a lot of money and I'm trying to save money to buy a condo. I had wanted to go hiking, but we still have too much snow. I had wanted to go for a walk, but I just can't get motivated. I was going to cook him dinner tonight and bring it over to his house, but he has to work tonight. I've been trying to make plans with a friend of mine for this weekend, but we've been playing phone tag. The only phone calls I've gotten today are from my doctor's office or pharmacy. I guess nothing seems to be falling into place, so I'm getting a bit annoyed. I should take a shower, clean out my car, buy the flowers, scrub out the flower boxes and plant 'em. But, that all seems like too much effort right now.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 4/9/2008 10:43 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Sadsong,

Actually it seems like your time is well spent.  I know how frustrating the ups and downs are, maybe you would need a mood stablizer.  I don't remember if I mentioned but I take abilify for that.  It also works for bipolar.  Ever since I started taking it though, I feel so much better.  So maybe I am a little manic too.

I would say, just go with the flow.  Sometimes we just have to do that.  I know there is more structure in organization, but I think that comes from us wanting to be in control all of the time. 

I have fibromyalgia, so I never know how I will feel from one day to the next.  It was hard to handle at first, but I learned that life just comes as it may.  Now I have quit worrying about the future and things that I cannot control.  So in some ways it has done me good.  Take your day and relax, maybe pamper yourself a little bit.  You deserve that.  I know how hard it is when plans get changed or you can't do the things that you would want to do.  As for the flowers, it is so therapeudic working with them.  Maybe if you rest a little you will feel like working on them yet.  Sometimes if you just start and plan on doing a little, you have it done before you know it.

I wish for you to feel better.  Keep posting and let us know how you are feeling.

hugs, Karen


  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Sadsong
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 344
   Posted 4/9/2008 1:44 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks again Karen. I've managed to wash some dishes, pay some bills, make some lunch, take a shower, sort some laundry, pull up the storm windows, make some phone calls, and tidy up a bit. But, I have yet to manage to actually finish any one thing I've started! Ugh! Oh, well - there is always tomorrow! The sun came out for a bit, so I think I'll pick up those flowers on my way back from my therapist. It's suppose to be in the 60's here tomorrow! Yippee! But, it's suppose to rain all weekend long, which will be perfect timing for my flowers! :) So, I guess I'll find something to do inside for the weekend. Thanks for listening.

ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 4/10/2008 4:42 AM (GMT -7)   
Women's hormones-Depression-birth control = TROUBLE!!!

Yikes, I hope that things finally start to even out...I would stay in contact with your doctor while you are going through this,just to make sure that they are aware of what is going on. If it gets worse they might want to step in with a med change...


I also think you are suffering from the winter blues,most of us have had to endure such a long and hard winter that just the slight glimpse of the sun is putting us into overdrive!

I too have been the same way this winter,and last weekend was able to get outside and wash my car,I had so much energy the whole weekend,it was like I was a new person. Then right back to rain and cold... soon it will be better.
Shy


Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

Please remember,I am not a professional..I am just a person who is also fighting depression.


Sadsong
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 344
   Posted 4/10/2008 5:34 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Shy! Today it's sunny again and it's suppose to get up into the 70's! Whoo-who! I feel like a brand new woman. I've got an appointment with my doctor this morning to touch base and later on I'm getting my hair cut. Now, I just have to decide what I want to do with this mop, highlights ot maybe I'll just go red! :)

ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 4/11/2008 4:30 AM (GMT -7)   
I can't wait for it to be nice here and stay nice!

You know what? I just did a major hair color change last month and love it, it seems like you are a different person at first!
Shy


Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

Please remember,I am not a professional..I am just a person who is also fighting depression.


Sadsong
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 344
   Posted 4/11/2008 5:10 AM (GMT -7)   
LOL, I went with red highlights. :) I'm a natural brunette and get red and gold highlights in the summertime, but just couldn't wait that long! I'm not sure if I like it just yet though... But, I'm going out on the town tonight, so it'll be fun to get all "gussied up" and see how many heads I can turn! :) It's sunny again here today, but suppose to rain later on through Mon. Ugh. I do hope they are wrong, since we've had way too many flooding events here over the past few years. Anyways, I did get my flowers in - violets and pansies. Each window now has it's very own window box! It just brightens up my mood so much and it was was simple and easy to do and didn't cost that much! :) Oh, and I did mention to my doctor that I had some concerns about keeping my depression in check while on birth control pills. They told me it'll take about 3 months for my hormones to level out, but to make sure and call them if my depression worsens and I have another appointment scheduled in three weeks just to touch base again. Have a great day all! :)

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 4/11/2008 5:52 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Sadsong,

I have highlights too.  It is called grey.LOL  Though I do have blonde highlights put in and it does look pretty cool  My grey turns to platinum. 

It is raining here today too.  Tomorrow suppose to rain and snow.  Boo Hoo.  I thought all of this was over.  I don't think that the snow will stick, but I am so sick of it and the damp weather.  Pretty soon though it will get warm and I will probably be complaining about the heat.  I am never satisfied with the weather here in Michigan. 

I hope that you have a great day.  Keep us posted on your progress and your doctor's appointment.

Hugs Karen


  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 4/11/2008 3:21 PM (GMT -7)   
Awesome Sadsong!

I hope you have a great night,and I am sure you will turn alot of heads!!

I can't wait to plant my wildflowers outside,been just waiting for the weather to be stable!
So glad that you talked to your doctor, keep in touch with him.


(((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))
Shy


Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

Please remember,I am not a professional..I am just a person who is also fighting depression.


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 4/14/2008 5:13 AM (GMT -7)   
Bump
Shy


Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

Please remember,I am not a professional..I am just a person who is also fighting depression.


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 4/15/2008 4:12 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Sadsong

How was your night? Do you love your new colors?


Hope it all went well!
Shy


Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

Please remember,I am not a professional..I am just a person who is also fighting depression.


Sadsong
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 344
   Posted 4/15/2008 3:42 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey all, the weather has been great here - finally! Sunny and in the 60's! Yippee! :) Dancing was fun, but I liked curling up with my man afterwards even more. He stayed home while I went out on the town. I didn't get to his place until 2:30 or so (I called him around midnight to see if he wanted to join us, but he said he was going back to sleep.) But, when I got there he was waiting up for me. Isn't that sweet! :)

I do like my highlights now, they've grown on me!

Oh, and my doctor's office called to check in on me. They said I could up my celexa to 40 mg, but I told them I didn't want to, since I was doing fine. That is as long as the weather holds! :)

Hope all is well!

yana
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 220
   Posted 4/15/2008 4:47 PM (GMT -7)   
That's really sweet sadsong ,its good to know you enjoying weather !!!

Best Wishes!!!

yana
Never work just for money or for power. They won't save your soul or help you sleep at night.
~Marian Wright Edelman~


I have discovered that all human evil comes from this, man's being unable to sit still in a room.
~Blaise Pascal~


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 4/15/2008 4:59 PM (GMT -7)   
And it is good to know that you are having fun and have a good man at home waiting for you.

It is always nice to read about something happy. Thanks

Have a wonderful day

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Sadsong
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 344
   Posted 4/16/2008 2:57 AM (GMT -7)   
Yeah, it's really great that he loves and trusts me enough to encourage me to go out with my friends. He even encourages it! I've never been in such a mature and trusting relationship where we each have our own separate interests, while understanding that we each need our own space. (He loves to play cards and I don't, so he hangs with his guy friends on Mon and Tues. He's also on a bowling team on Thurs. So, he gets plenty of guy time!) I've always needed to be with the other person all the time, but at least this time around I acknowledge and respect that he doesn't like to do all the things I like to do (dancing and shopping) and he doesn't get jealous if I spend time with other people. It's really great, 'cause then we appreciate the time we spend together even more, since it's doing stuff we both like to do. Well, the sun is just coming up and it looks like it'll be another great day! Hope ya'll enjoy the day! :)

ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 4/16/2008 3:25 AM (GMT -7)   
That is great Sadsong..so glad that things are going well for you.

I know what you mean about needing your space...I haven't made any friends here and being around my b/f all of the time is starting to get to me..


Take care
Shy


Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

Please remember,I am not a professional..I am just a person who is also fighting depression.


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 4/16/2008 1:19 PM (GMT -7)   

We need to all get together and have a coffee party.  I have few friends too and it gets lonesome. 

Take care,
Kitt


 
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic 
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 

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