I could really use some faith

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

faithfully4you
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 4/14/2008 8:27 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Everyone,
I was finishing mapping my route for tomorrow and I started to wonder once again is everything going to be alright in court?  I am hoping that the judge at least listens to what I have to say.  I am armed with all my evidence from the mechanics that gave me the info on what was going on with my car.
 
I may have found another Tiburon the same year and it is about 2 hours away.  I am not sure what to do with that, this is all such a mess, I wish I didnt have to do it alone but oh well.
 
I was checking my email for the job postings that I have been watching and I received an urgent letter from the VNS board stating that there have been people that have had complications with their implant and have actually died, for many reasons.  With all the trouble i am having with mine, this scares the s..t out of me!!
 
What else????
Teresa 


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 4/14/2008 9:43 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Teresa,

How soon can you have your vns checked? I hope you can do that soon. But try not to get anxiety going, you don't need that right now. Just take a few deep breaths and tell yourself, I can handle this. I know that you can. Deal with the ticket tomorrow as you planned. Then get right on the vns thing. You have to deal with that, there is no way around it, just try to stay calm. I am praying for you that everything will turn out alright. So let's both have faith here.

Keep posting and let us know what is going on. And I will try not to worry also.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Luv and hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


djdaz_1985
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 4/15/2008 3:49 AM (GMT -7)   
Karen is right. Deal with one thing at a time and try not to worry too much about the VNS thing. I know it sounds pretty scary but they are probably sending you a letter just to cover their backs because 1 in 1000 people died or something similar. Best get it checked though. Good luck in court today... I will be thinking of you.

Thoughts, Prayers and Hugs

Darren
Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
 
"A gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if your not enough without it, you will never be enough with it." - Irvine Blitzer (John Candy) in Cool Runnings
 
Moderator - Epilepsy Forum
Co-Moderator - Depression Forum
 
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
 


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 4/15/2008 4:04 AM (GMT -7)   
Teresa


You have alot on your plate right now... as everyone has said just take it one day at a time.

I hope that things turn out with your car,and that you can get into the doctor right away to have your VNS checked.
Shy


Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

Please remember,I am not a professional..I am just a person who is also fighting depression.


faithfully4you
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 4/16/2008 7:28 AM (GMT -7)   
HI everyone,
I got home yesterday really depressed.  It just seems like nothing positive can happen for me.  I dont expect any pity but I am truly losing the ability to feel better.  I am overwhelmed with debt, health and trying to get my life in order.  Believe me I am trying but it seems every time I take a step up I fall back just as hard.
 
Ok, I know you guys are wondering how yesterday went.  More or less the Magistrate didn't even care that I came with all the documentation regarding possible malfunctions of the panel electronics, DIDNT EVEN ASK TO SEE THEM!!!  In the midst of 15 cases, mine was 14.  Watching all the other cases, I am thinking that I will be ok.  There was suspensions, possession of illegal substances, driving with no license, reckless op, possession of a deadly weapon to having a baby not restraint in a seat.  Pretty bad I thought, well even though I have no evidence of any other offenses, I got the same thing others did!!!!!  I couldnt believe it, I was devasted.  Not only did I drive over an hour but I ended up paying $60 more and not to mention $3.40 a gallon in gas and using a 3/4 of a tank to go.  One of the problems with the car is an air sensor that has some to do with gas usage.
 
I am in the process of trying to return my car on peaceful terms but once again doing this alone has really been alot of my anxiety attacks.
 
As far as my vns, there have been other recalls that frightened me, but this one is very close to what my symptoms are, I will have to undergo removal and replacement of the unit its self.
 
I dont know guys, I am getting tired of the struggle, I have been strong but it is hard carrying the weight of the world by yourself.
Teresa 


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 4/16/2008 7:46 AM (GMT -7)   
Don't give up Teresa,

This is just another bump in the road, and life is full of them. But you can handle this, you are stronger than you think. You might end up finding the perfect car for you through all of this turmoil. Something that was meant to be actually.

Have you talked to your attorney at all regarding the auto issue? He might be able to help you with this.

I hope that your day gets better. Maybe you need to rest your mind from it for a while.

Your vns might need to come out and this could be something that ends up saving your life. So it might be a blessing in disguise. You never know. I hope all works out well for you.

Let us know how everything goes. We are all praying for you.

Luv and hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


faithfully4you
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 4/17/2008 8:57 AM (GMT -7)   
I know what you are saying about the bumps in the road but as far as can see I hope my feet and mind are equipped for all-terrain, lol.  See I laughed.  I have been working in my yard the past couple days into the evening and only quiting because it was too dark to see.
 
This always has brought serenity to my mind,  there are so many things I want to do with my yard but as usual, I have no money.Things that I want are not that expensive but I literally have no money.  I love the statues of angels and planting flowers but I will havre to settle for it just being groomed.
 
Unfortunately I dont have an attorney because I cannot afford one so I have to do this by myself.  I am getting stronger by doing all this but I am getting to the point that it would be so much fun to have someone to do it with, I dont ever think I will love again, seriously, I know you guys will say that I will but I still cry when I think of never having my one true love in my life again, I dont know how I have made it.
 
I decided to let the car thing go at least until Monday.  I am going to work in my yard this weekend if it is nice.
 
Well back to my yard and I am going to wash my car, white gets dirty so fast.
Teresa 


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 4/17/2008 9:25 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Teresa,

I am so glad that you are getting outside and doing your yard. We have had some nice sunny days here so I have been able to get out for walks with my dogs. It does a body so much good to get out in that sunshine, especially after such a long winter.

So Kudos to you my dear. Keep up the good work. Enjoy your day!!!

Luv and hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


djdaz_1985
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 4/17/2008 1:17 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Teresa,

Please dont give up on this. You have been in much worse positions than this and managed to find the light. You are so strong and your faith helps carry you through. Keep you chin up

Hugs, thoughts and prayers as always

Darren


Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
 
"A gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if your not enough without it, you will never be enough with it." - Irvine Blitzer (John Candy) in Cool Runnings
 
Moderator - Epilepsy Forum
Co-Moderator - Depression Forum
 
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
 


faithfully4you
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 4/17/2008 6:39 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks you guys,
I worked so hard oin my yard that I plan on spendingthe rest of the evening on my heating pad.  I was very crazy trying to get my yard to look nice.  My neighbor said that they have lived next door for over 14 years and never saw anyone out working on it like me.  After I dug all the old leaves and crap from the flower beds that I assumed had flowers at one time, I found hundreds of little stalks, and blooms just waiting for someone to uncover them.  Today they were already coming up about an inch more, I cant wait to see what they are, there are daffodils and tulips but I am not sure what the others are.  I thought about planting some rose bushes but I got emotional just thinking about it, there are so many things that have really made me cry since the weather has gotten nicer, this was always the time of year when W and I could finally ride and I could hold tight to him as he rested his arm on my leg, I LOVED THAT!!
 
I washed my car today it is so pretty, it is hard to believe that there is so much going on with it, I try to stay positive though.
 
I am doing ok, not great but I find myself not looking for signs anymore and if I see one, I dont indulge myself anymore because it hurts too bad.
 
Teresa 


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 4/17/2008 8:12 PM (GMT -7)   
Isn't it lovely when the spring flowers start popping up? I have had my flower beds forever but it is still like a nice suprise in the spring.

It sounds like you had a very productive day. I did too. But we will both feel it in the morning.

Have a good night and a wonderful day tomorrow.

Luv and hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


faithfully4you
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 4/20/2008 1:25 PM (GMT -7)   
I cannot get this depression to stop hovering over my head.  There are so many things that are bothering me that I dont think that I will ever have peace of mind.  I just try to do everything right for a change and in doing so, I have seen changes both in people and situations in which I feel in doing right nobody wants to do right as well.
 
This only makes me mad because I finally find that people only like you if it is their way!  That is too bad because at the end of the day I feel alone but respected.
 
I just wish I could get back what I had when I was happy with the same values I have learned to use after all these years of depression and personality disorders and I am starting to feel like a nothing because of how I am living my life.  I just want to be loved for me not because I "have it going on" on the outside.  I have learned to value myself and now I see what men and women are like (most of them) and it makes me more hard to even letting these walls down.
 
I am just really depressed today, sad and some tears.  Tommorrow is my interview and I hope it goes well, I hope I dont feel like this.
Teresa 


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 4/20/2008 2:49 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Teresa,

First of all good luck with your interview.  I really hope that you get this job and that you like it.  You deserve for something good to happen to you.  I will keep my fingers crossed for you!

Secondly, my dear, don't feel guilty for looking good.  There are a lot of shallow people in this world.  And sometimes we just happen to run into them.  It is unfortunate, but they are among us.  If it isn't some guy hitting on you, it is going to be some woman jealous of you.  That is just a part of this life.  We have to learn to over look things like that.

I am sure that you will feel better tomorrow, if only because of the interview.  Don't get frustrated with the way people are, they can be selfish and want everything on their terms.  You don't need to be around people like that anyway.  They just bring us down.

Well Teresa my dear, I must say that I had a wonderful day.  I was able to walk my dogs, and the sun was out and it was warm.  I putzed around in my greenhouse some.  The sun is starting to rest, so I might go back in there for a while.  I am planting flower seeds for this summer.

I hope that you feel better, just don't let other people's actions get you down.  You deserve much better than that. 

Have a wonderful evening,

hugs, Karen


  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 4/20/2008 3:01 PM (GMT -7)   

Dear Teresa,

This is Kitt. :)

I am sorry your feeling down, let me do my lift you up speal.
Depression can be like a tremendous weight, keeping you down so you don't want to function. Sometimes, it's a constant battle with oneself to get up, get ready and get dressed every day. Life has a way of piling stuff on us, and it is our job to un-freeze our bodies and keep going during even the most difficult of times. Don't give up on yourself for having depression, it is possible to increase your energy and drive. It just takes finding out what solutions work best for you specifically.

Don't overanalyze or judge situations that upset you. Minimize the drama in your life.

It is best to limit your exposure to people who consistently bring you down or stress you out. Take situations and problems at face value. Don't read into them, just accept the reality of each issue as you experience it .

Faith is the light that guides you through the darkness.
 
 
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic 
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 


faithfully4you
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 4/28/2008 4:18 PM (GMT -7)   
HI all,
Once again, I feel bad.  I think that mentally I am wore out and wish I could have a distraction from all this crap.  I was looking over all the meds I take and I get depressed because I feel that all these drugs and vns, I thought I would be a new woman by now.  I have made a decision to have the vns removed and plan on the cranial transplant.  I am not sure I will go about it but my doc snd I had discussed it briefly a couple months ago.
 
I started to get my paperwork together for the arbutation with the issues about my car.  I just wish that I had someone to help with this.  I think that having someone that has my best interest at hand would be wonderful.
 
Tomorrow is my 2nd interview with the company I interviewed with last week.  I am excited and scared at the same time, I figure if I got a second interview, I will probably have the job.
 
I wanted to tell you guys about something that happened the other day.  In all my stress and depression I forgot about it.  I was mowing the lawn and I looked over my shoulder and there was my  old best friend, Stephanie.  I was so happy to see her that my eyes filled up and so did hers.  We sat and talked for about an hour, actually it was her lunch break so I was flattered that she spent it with me.  We exchanged phone numbers and we are going to try to rekindle our friendship.
 
I just wish this depression wasnt so noticable, I feel like crap.  I have a look about me when Im depressed.  People closest to me have said so, so I hope that I don't have that look tomorrow, I am going to try to think or do something positive so this look doesnt show.
Teresa 

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Sunday, December 04, 2016 1:24 AM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,732,430 posts in 301,020 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151182 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, Sean C..
208 Guest(s), 3 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
THE HAPPY TURTLE, pressurehead, gilly2


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer