I dont want you to think that I am ignoring you. I read all your posts but sometimes when there is an exchange (almost like email) between 2+ members, I back away sometimes so that I dont 'muddy the water'. Perhaps there are times when that is the wrong thing to do and if I have offended you, I appologise.
I think starting this post has been a great idea for you since it allows you to vent how you feel and also it allows you to get feedback. Regarding your husband, I guess it really depends on how you see the future. If you cant see see a future together because of the trust issue then perhaps it is time to call time. If you are torn, then there is a part of your mind which doesnt trust him and I dont think marriages survive without 100% trust. I think you really need to take a deep look inside at what your gut is saying... that would be my advice to you.
Please keep posting
This is about you not us and don't ever feel you have to apologize for feeling sad and lonely.
I understand how talking to your husband causes you to have meltdowns but throw out the guilt over them because you have reason to feel bad and don't beat yourself up.
Be a bit selfish and put yourself first. Remember you are a good person in a tough spot right now and the future is not known to you. Splurge a bit on you..............take a walk, a nap, a drive in the country side and when you do get to see a therapist remember the therapist is for you, not for your husband. He is getting help.
Keep posting and vent away, you have a lot of emotion to get out.
Bless you Kitt
Im definately with Karen on this one. You need to take some time out for yourself. There is no point in trying up keep up a fight if you never rest yourself. Also, you have to bear in mind that you can lead a horse to water but you cant make it drink. You can tell your husband about the councilling but unless he wants to do it (Which is not something you can control) you are fighting a losing battle... and that will sap your strength really badly. I really think you ought to talk to him about how you feel. Clear the air and make it clear how things have to be for you both to move forward.
I just wanted to let you know Bionca,
That you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Good luck today with all the calls that you have to make...
Keep the faith and remember that we are always here for you.
This could be a tough road for you, so keep posting. I am having faith that all will work out well... Keep your chin up and make sure you give yourself time to relax once in a while.
BIG HUGS, Karen
It sounds like you really got the ball rolling. that is awesome. I think that this is a good way to go. And I am happy that you are handling it well. It sounds like you are getting much stronger. Or at least realizing your strengths. It is so hard when you are fighting the situation all of the time. You feel like you are getting no where. Now you can see some accomplishments. It isn't going to be the easiest task, but it is happening and that is what is important. Try to go with the flow and you will do fine. And getting rest is going to help. I am sure that your doctor will help you with that. So it looks like you are all going in the right direction. And that makes me so happy.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.'
Im so glad that you managed to find your husband the 90 appointments... especially in your area where the -anon appointments are as rare as rocking horse poo! Im also really glad that you got such a positive response in regards to HealingWell. We rely on members 'advertising' us to other people so that we can keep going... so many thanks for that! I hope the doctor sorts out your sleep pattern. You deserve it after all you have done for your husband
Good for you Bionca,
Though it was a small thing that you got for yourself, I bet that it was a big happy that you felt. Your counselor made a good suggestion. We should all do that for ourselves. I did something yesterday when I was shopping, I bought a new purse. It gave me something to look forward to when I got home. Cleaning out my old purse and putting everything into the new one. My friend has always liked the purse that I was using and actually she collects them, so I am going to give it to her. That will make me feel good once again. So that is like a two for one with the purchase of a purse. And it was on sale too!
I think that we should do something nice for ourselves every day, even if it is just sitting in the sun for a while and listening to the birds or just feeling the sun on our face.
I am happy for you. You are on the right track and I know you will one day be rewarded for your compassion and all of the hard work that you are doing right now.
Have a wonderful day,