THE GOOD & BAD IN THINGS

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faithfully4you
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Date Joined Jan 2007
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   Posted 4/18/2008 7:18 AM (GMT -7)   
hI guys,
A new day of wondering what the day will hold.  I will give you the good things in my life, not to many.  An old friend called me yesterday and left me a voicemail.  I havent talked with her for several months and she says that she found my number going through some papers and wanted to call me.  I did call her back today and she was at work and said that she would call me later.  We will see, I dont get to disappointed over things anymore, just feel numb.  I cant remember the last time I cried.  The second thing is that my yard is getting done, it doesnt look too bad.  I have a big ugly tree out front and I decided to take all the dead branches off, it looks ok but oh well.
I also have a job interview on Monday for a large clinic, fulltime, the wage is not as much as I would like but atleast I wont be p..s poor either.
 
The bad things going on in my life are nothing new.  My sister was doing better about a month ago.  My mom called me today to tel me that her tumor is growing back and my brother-in-law has a couple options.  If it is up to my sister she will fight to the bitter end, I just dont know if I can watch her do that.  I want to get down there as soon as I can in case I start working.
 
I am sleeping at night again.  I feel worse during the day and have no ambition to do anything.
Feeling really sad today, depressed I am going to go outside and finish my lawn work.
Teresa 


CassandraLee
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   Posted 4/18/2008 8:09 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Teresa:  I am so glad that you let us know about the good things in your life!  It's always nice to unexpectedly hear from an old friend.  That must have made you feel so good to hear that somebody was thinking of you.  And your yard work...boy, I am so jealous!!  (I have a large and very unattended/unloved yard right now.)  I think its great that you have worked on some many things in it.  It sounds like you might think that its not so much right now...but everytime you walk out of your house or drive up it should make you feel like you truly accomplished something.  And what about a finishing touch --perhaps a container of spring flowers on your steps or around your mailbox?

And congratulations on the call about your interview.  I know it isn't your expected salary range, but it could give you a nice place to step back in and restart.  Let us know how the interview goes!

Last, I am so sorry to hear about your sister.  It seems like you haven't mentioned her in awhile, so I had my thoughts and prayers for you that perhaps she was either stablizing or getting better.  I'll continue to keep you both in my thoughts.

Cass

 


djdaz_1985
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Date Joined Jan 2006
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   Posted 4/18/2008 8:41 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Teresa,

Im glad that you have got your garden looking good. As for the dead tree... there isnt much you can do about that other than have it cut down but that costs money. Besides... where would you hang your fairy lights at Christmas! tongue Its nice that your friend called you after finding your number... you must have meant something to her otherwise I guess she wouldnt have called. Hopefully you can get talking regularly again.

Im sorry to hear that you sister is no better but try to focus on the good things in life. Thats not to say you should ignore the bad things but dont let them dominate your thoughts. Otherwise, as you well know, you drive yourself further and further down into the rut.

Remember we are always here for you.

Darren

 


Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
 
"A gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if your not enough without it, you will never be enough with it." - Irvine Blitzer (John Candy) in Cool Runnings
 
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getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40588
   Posted 4/18/2008 9:02 AM (GMT -7)   
HI Teresa,

Thanks for sharing the good things going on in your life. That is always nice to hear about. I hope that things continue to go good for you. You are a very special person and you deserve that.

I hope that you can see your sister soon. I know how much that means to you.

Keep working in the flowers, it always makes you feel good to get your hands in the dirt. It does me anyway. I am excited to hear what comes up there.

Have a wonderful day Teresa,
hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


faithfully4you
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Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 4/18/2008 3:03 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks you guys, I worked all day in my yard.  My arms and legs are scrapped up and bleeding, but the yard looks good.  My neighbor and his wife helped with trimming the shrubs.  The tree actually looks ok, i planted flowers in front of it.
 
What really depressed me the most is there is a guy that lives a couple doors down and he is about my age, here he has a harley.  So I get to watch them leave on the bike.  Theyre laughing and enjoying the bike, sun and each other.  I had to come in to fight the tears. I know I say that I am getting stonger, but in my mind I am still broken.
 
As far as my friend goes, we talked briefly on eggshells and made a plan to go see her Monday after my interview.  She lives in Salem and that is really not that far.  I just felt really distant when I talked to her, almost like I didnt really care nor did she.
I am just really feeling edgy and highly irritated today.  I just want to be happy.
Teresa 


djdaz_1985
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Date Joined Jan 2006
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   Posted 4/18/2008 3:32 PM (GMT -7)   

If its been a while since you have spoken, sometimes the first conversation can be a bit edgy and icy. I think meeting up with her is a great idea. If nothing else its a day out of the house! As for the Harley, I know its tough for you at the moment but i'm sure you will get your equivelant soon... then you can impress him with your sports car!

Take Care

Darren


Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
 
"A gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if your not enough without it, you will never be enough with it." - Irvine Blitzer (John Candy) in Cool Runnings
 
Moderator - Epilepsy Forum
Co-Moderator - Depression Forum
 
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
 


ShynSassy
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Date Joined Dec 2005
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   Posted 4/19/2008 3:35 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Teresa

I am so glad that you are able to get out in your yard,hopefully the weather will hold up so you can continue to do that.

I know how you feel about talking with someone that you have not seen for awhile.
I too have been through so many changes in my life since I last dealt with alot of my friends,and I feel as though I should tell them some of it.

Just take it one day at a time with her,and see where it goes from here.
Shy


Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

Please remember,I am not a professional..I am just a person who is also fighting depression.


jordaNZone
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Date Joined Sep 2006
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   Posted 4/19/2008 5:43 PM (GMT -7)   
Isn't it amazing how people pop into your life when you are feeling down :) Enjoy meeting up with an old friend - you will have lots to catch up on..and I always think it's nice to listen to someone elses problems for a change..gives me a break from my own :))
Maree
 'Raindrops on roses..'


faithfully4you
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Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 4/19/2008 6:47 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks you guys,
I have literally worked in my yard for 4 days and it still needs work, I am getting tired now, my ambition is running really low.  The last few days I have been fighting off the depression, really hard.  It seems my anxiety attacks are even worse and I have a little chest pain.  It is probably from me exerting myself but it really quite painful at times.
 
It is raining out and that makes me even more depressed, lonely.  As far as my friend I wish I could say I was excited but I cant, it wouldnt matter to me if she and i didnt get together on monday, that is how i am with everyone, I just dont care if someone likes me or not.  I spent way to many years trying to be the most beautiful, perfect person for everyone, that I would give anything to have feelings again.
 
Just a little depressed tonight.
Teresa 


getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40588
   Posted 4/19/2008 7:47 PM (GMT -7)   
Wow Teresa,

you sound like me. I get to where I don't give a hoot about seeing people. Though I understand that isn't healthy. But that is me.

You never know though, you might have a really good time. Which would be better than building it up in your mind and having a not so good time, at least this way you aren't let down.

I know I should have a healthier attitude.

It sounds like you have been doing what I have. Getting the yard cleaned up. It sure is nice when you have things done. And I am happy that you had some neighbors help you some. That was very nice of them.

I have long since tired myself out. I couldn't do a thing today. It was 80 degrees and just seemed too hot today.

I hope that you have a wonderful evening and a great day tomorrow.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Another Day
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Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 1055
   Posted 4/20/2008 8:53 PM (GMT -7)   
Teresa,
 
I haven't talked to you in a long time.  I know you must be exhausted from all the yard work, but you have to feel good when you drive in your driveway and see how nice it looks or when you look out your windows.
 
I know it sounds like your depression has taken over again, but I really think you would be missing out on something if you don't meet up with your old friend.  I hope you will give it a try.  If you get there and feel uncomfortable, you can come up with an excuse or just be honest with her, and say you have to leave.  I think it would be a positive, healthy thing for you to try to get out of the house and be with other people.
 
Just know I am thinking about you and support you either way.  I am envious of your yard.  :-)
 
Hugs!
 
Carla

Moderator, Allergies/Asthma
 
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djdaz_1985
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Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 4/21/2008 7:38 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Teresa,

Gardens need a lot of work... especially coming up to the spring when all the bulbs are starting to come through. The chest pain is probably the exersion (as you said) so maybe a couple of days R&R is needed. I hope the sun comes out for you tomorrow to brighten your mood and also that your meeting goes better than you expected.

Darren
Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
 
"A gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if your not enough without it, you will never be enough with it." - Irvine Blitzer (John Candy) in Cool Runnings
 
Moderator - Epilepsy Forum
Co-Moderator - Depression Forum
 
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
 


faithfully4you
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Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 4/21/2008 4:10 PM (GMT -7)   
I know I sound like a broken record but you guys are the light of my life!
 
I went to my interview today and I really think I nailed it, my portfolio was quite impressive to my interviewer.  This would be a great job but the hours kind of stink, not bad though, no midnights or afternoons, thats good.  We will see, I also have my resume out to a cancer clinic in Canton also, I should be hearing from them soon I would think.  That position would be both good and stressful because of what I am going through with my sister.  I applied for this though because I am trying to look at the positive things.  In this case, I  may hear of new developments that may halp my sister and her fight or just give me a better understanding of what is happening with her.
 
I did go and see my friend today and I am glad I did.  She said that she had missed me and that she was sorry for the things that were said.  We then caught up on what was happening in our lives.  We promised to get our friendship back together and no more stupid stuff.
I really did miss her and I did tear up a little.  She asked me if she could drive my car and I asked her if she could drive stick.  She made the motion with her hands up and down and said is that it?  lol  I said yea but I'll drive.  Felt good being with her again.
 
I am trying to get things finalized with the legalities of what is going on.  It is really stressful and I wish I did'nt have to do this alone, my friend cant do it because she doesnt understand all this crap.
 
I am really tired this evening, I think it is because it was a mentally tiring day.
 
ps......thanks for all your prayers
Teresa 


getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40588
   Posted 4/21/2008 5:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Wow Teresa,

That is wonderful, I just knew that you were going to enjoy the day. I am so happy for you. It sounds like you had a blast!!!

Things are looking up, aren't they? I really hope that you get this job. You sound so excited about it and it makes me so excited for you! This is really great!

I hope that you get some rest, it would be tiring with all that excitement in one day. But it is all good.

I went shopping today and that tired me out. I can just imagine with all of the fun that you had, how tired I would be. But it is a good kind of tired. Because you are happy.

I hope that you have a nice evening,

hugs Karen
  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Wifeofdepression
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 144
   Posted 4/21/2008 7:17 PM (GMT -7)   
Dear Teresa,
I am so glad to hear the job interview went well. Between planting flowers, reconnecting with friends, and a great interview--your life sounds so sweet right now. Hopefully tomorrow will be just as good.
Lynne

djdaz_1985
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Date Joined Jan 2006
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   Posted 4/22/2008 3:12 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Teresa,

Im so glad that yesterday was such a positive day for you. A potential new job, a rekindled friendship and legalities getting finalised... no wonder your so mentally worn out! Hopefully you will be able to go out with your friend more often and this will help boost your mood!

Let us know how you get on with your car stuff... I know that legal red-tape is a nightmare to fight through but im sure you will get there. I have faith in you and your abilities.

Darren


Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
 
"A gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if your not enough without it, you will never be enough with it." - Irvine Blitzer (John Candy) in Cool Runnings
 
Moderator - Epilepsy Forum
Co-Moderator - Depression Forum
 
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
 


faithfully4you
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Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 4/23/2008 8:21 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi everyone,
 
Already my day is starting not good.I worked into the evening last night and just about have my lawn and landscaping done.  Snd as much fun as that was, now I realize that I cannot even afford the mulch and other things I want to make it pretty.  I will say that this is the first time in a long time that I have felt so hopeless about my finances, I am actually very scared that is how bad it is.
 
I also received an email from the dealership TELLING me what needs to be done!  Ok now I am at loss because I don't have anyone to help me or intimade these people.  There proposal is not feasible for me as they refused to reimburse for for the car until they resale it, I could do that!!!  Anyway, I guess the person that was going to sell me their car will not wait on these a........s to give me what I need to get my car now.  I wish I had the amount of the car I want to buy and they could then relist this one and when I recieve my money from this sell, I could pay back the amount that I was loaned.
 
I am going to go back out in my yard today and try not to think about finances but it is so hard.
 
But the sun is out and we all should be hapy right, yea ok
Teresa 


getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40588
   Posted 4/23/2008 10:31 AM (GMT -7)   

What I don't understand is how that dealership can fix your car when the garage said that it can't be fixed.  Are they going to fix it for free?  You really should talk to your attorney about this.  It sounds fishy to me.  I hope that it all works out.  Can you get your old car back if you return it to the dealer?  I would think that they could at least do that.  It doesn't make sense that they have to sell it before they can pay you back.  I wish there were some men on here that could help you.  I don't know that much about cars myself.  I know a little though.  And I still don't understand what is wrong with it.  Is it the engine, or the front end or what?

I hope that you can enjoy your day.  It has been beautiful here, been out walking and playing in my greenhouse.  Planted a bunch of flower seeds.  I hope they come up, though when it comes time for transplanting, I will probably fizzzle out.  I can only go so long and then I get tired of it.  But hope to give a lot of stuff away.

Take care, keep in touch.  I woke up really tired today, I must be over doing it I guess.

Hugs, Karen


  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


djdaz_1985
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Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 4/23/2008 11:34 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Teresa,

Do you not have farms near you that give mulch away free? Maybe thats just a British thing!? You have inspired my to get out into the garden now that our weather is starting to look good. (Although it is supposed to rain until the weekend now!)Its so hard to get motivated to do anything as I will be moving out in June but its nice to have one last summer in a nice garden before I move back into University Halls. (Where we dont have a garden! LOL) So you can take pride in the idea that you have inspired me to get out into the garden.

As for the car, I too think this sounds fishy and would talk to a lawyer about it. I am no expert in mechanics or US law so I dont think its really my place to hand out advice.

Keep your chin up and your face smiling!

Darren


Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
 
"A gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if your not enough without it, you will never be enough with it." - Irvine Blitzer (John Candy) in Cool Runnings
 
Moderator - Epilepsy Forum
Co-Moderator - Depression Forum
 
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
 


faithfully4you
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Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 4/23/2008 5:21 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks you guys for your advice,
 
you are lucky djaz that you get mulch for free where you are, here in America nothing is free and if it is there is a string attached to it.  Im not sure what I am going to do.  It really looks pretty and I am proud to say that when I first thought about cleaning it, I really didnt want to that is how bad it was.  I have actually torn grass out and made my own flower beds, it does look really different.  I wish I had someone to show it to.
 
Asfar as my car, by specs it should not be fixed because of what is going on with it.  I am going to try to explain to this dealership that it is possible that I have another car and need them to come to an agreement so that this can be settled.
 
I would just really like my life to boring for a day or two.  I painted my kids trampeline structure.  It looks great.  I spray painted the metal with an aluminum rust inhibitor.  I does look good.
 
As far as an attorney, I can afford mulch, I think that attorneys are little more expensive :(
 
Well tomorrow is yet another day
Teresa 


djdaz_1985
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Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 4/24/2008 3:59 AM (GMT -7)   

If attorneys are anything like lawyers, they cost an arm and a leg just to talk to them on the phone! As for the mulch... farmers see it as a waste product and are glad that people come and take it away for them! Maybe your animal farmers have crops as well and they use it? You can pay for mulch in britain too... but I dont see the point since it is a lower quality and its not free!

I hope you get the car sorted out soon. It sounds like the dealership are not really listening to you. Sometimes it can be so hard to get these people to listen. Being a woman doesnt help either (And im not being sexist... but men get these people to listen better because of stereotype!). I hope you have a really boring day today tongue

Darren


Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
 
"A gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if your not enough without it, you will never be enough with it." - Irvine Blitzer (John Candy) in Cool Runnings
 
Moderator - Epilepsy Forum
Co-Moderator - Depression Forum
 
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
 


ShynSassy
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Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 4/24/2008 4:49 AM (GMT -7)   
Teresa

I am sure you would qualify for legal aid, I know it is a very easy process,and they can qualify you over the phone..
I don't remember what state you are from,but if you just google your state with legal aid I am sure the number will come up...
Shy


Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

Please remember,I am not a professional..I am just a person who is also fighting depression.


faithfully4you
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Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 4/24/2008 7:16 AM (GMT -7)   
I was on my way out to do more yard stuff and I wanted to feel a little better than I do now.  Just reading your posts brings me some joy.  I have worked in my yard so much that my fingers are sore, they throb they are so sore.
 
It is another sunny day here and I have no reason to stay in and do no work.  Still havent heard about my job but she did tell me that she is doing 2nd interviews next week.
 
I really need this job.
 
Ok well i am off, I hope that things go ok today.
Teresa 


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40588
   Posted 4/24/2008 8:40 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Teresa,

I am so happy that you are getting so much joy working in your yard right now. I love doing stuff lilke that when I am feeling up to it. It really is gratifying, isn't it. Especially when things start looking really pretty. I just marval at the miracle of what a plant can turn into.

Have a wonderful day,

hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


faithfully4you
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 4/25/2008 5:23 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi everyone,
really depressed today.  Tearful at times.  All I see is motorcycles going by with a girl and a  guy and it makes me so sad.  I looked to see if one is him.  I guess I have faced the fact that he has forgotten me and he is going on with his life, I am trying but the expectations of people are higher than they have ever been, therefore I am alone.
 
My yard does look nice and I managed to get the trampoline up.  My son and I played on it this evening.  I got a call back for a second interview!  I am thinking about moving to North Canton if I get this job.  Nothing holding me here anymore.
Teresa 

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