Its nice to see you back with us. We have missed your input. Im sorry that things are not going so well with you at the moment and forgive me if im wrong here, but your husband seems to be at the centre of all the problems you have just mentioned. I know that you said you dont tlk to him very much, but I wondered if now would be a good time to start? Perhaps it would also do you good to try and talk to your eldest. I know you say that she has her own life problems, but perhaps listening to you would be a welcome break from her own stresses? It definately sounds like communication is a problem at the moment and I think this is something to work on in the next couple of weeks.
Again, its nice to see you back
I can't help but wonder if maybe when you move you might find another good therapist and doctor. Also a chance to make good friends. I know change is hard, but try to be positive about it.
Darren is right about opening up to your husband, if you don't talk, he doesn't know how you feel. It sounds like you have negative feelings about the move, and you never know, it might be better than where you are now.
It sounds like you need to get your two younger children in check. I know it sucks to be the bad guy all of the time, so maybe you could tell your husband you need him to do this with you. It really isn't fair to put it all on you. You need backing and you aren't getting it from him. He is making you be the one to lay down the law so to speak.
I understand that this is a very difficult time right now for you. Is your husband wanting to move due to work? It is a hard time to sell a house right now. Does he have a potential buyer? Be careful in buying a new home, try to get a fixed interest rate on your mortgage. There is a lot of people losing homes to fluctuating interest rates right now. The house payments have doubled and people can't afford that. Though it is a buyers market at this time. Just be careful.
I hope that you keep posting and let us know how things are going.
Its possible that it is the depression causing you to feel this way but I would question how much of it is a habit of not talking. It might be nice to use the time when you are on your own to seriously look at what is going on and come up with an action plan for when your husband comes back.
Hello and so glad to see you but I am sorry you are feeling so bad. It feels to me like you are on a merry-go-round and do not know how to get off.
I think your depression is hitting you hard as you are not expressing your feelings and keeping it all locked up inside. I agree with Darren that not communicating with your husband and giving him all the credit because he takes care of you and provides the income does not mean you have no say in major decision making.
I also feel like you need to give your older daughter a chance to make her own choice if she can be there for you and talk to her, tell her how your feeling. We cannot make choices for our adult children, they have the right to the facts and will deal with them in their way.
I think writing down the things you accomplish daily is a great idea, it is like journaling.......include how you feel at the time you are writing and then read what you wrote and decide if it is a good thing or just stinkin thinkin.
Try backing off on how much work you are piling on you. Remember when talking to your husband to be assertive and not aggressive. Say what you mean. Ask for what you need to help you. He may not be able to delliver but at least he will know how your feel.
Keep on taking steps forwards, don't lose site of your goal............the light at the end of the tunnel.
Hi restless, I am glad to see you back posting again. I am so sorry about how your feeling now. It does indeed sound as if you have a ton of stressors going on.
The only thing that I feel might be of some use to you may be to give yourself & your husband a bit of time in regards to your relationship and how you have been feeling. I certainly wasn't in my marriage near as long as you have been however, I was in the total relationship for almost 12 years. I had been feeling much like you described here for the last 2 yrs of my marriage and granted my depression was pretty bad. I had been diagnosed with MS and I was working a lot plus trying to keep up at home. I just ended up quitting...I walked out and left him. Filed for divorce and refused to speak to him for many months afterward. It really didn't even dawn on me until I had completely changed medications and my depression got to a manageable level that maybe I had made a mistake. I don't know...that is something that will not ever be answered I guess.
Over time people change, feelings change but when you factor in depression it really skews the whole spectrum. Hang in there restless your a strong woman and will get through this. Much love
ElishaCo~Mod: DepressionModerator: Heart & Cardiovascular Diseasehttp://www.healingwell.com/donate
Yes restless, I understand completely what your saying. Reading your words brought back many memories and my own feelings much the same.
I dont recall any one thing that compelled me or inspired me during that time to get better. I do remember that I was so physically ready to give up but there was a small something in my brain that just wouldnt let me quit. People who have depression have to be the most toughest out there.
Maybe try just doing something small for yourself. Dont worry about the guilt or money or stress on anything like that. Even if it is taking a short walk alone...you do so much for everyone else it sounds like you are most neglected. Your soul and well being...
I am so sorry to hear about this. I actually don't know what to say.
I am happy that you have come here, or I should say come back here. You are among friends. There is a wonderful bunch of people here and we would love to be here for you.
All I can say right now is big hugs to you. You sound like a very strong person and We want to help you though this.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
You must be such a strong woman. I don't know how you do it. I could see where it would get hard to do things, and I would say if you can't, then sometimes take the time and just go with the day. I am not facing nearly as much as you and there are days that I can't do a thing. All I want to do is sleep. Either that or it is pain. All I can do is sit. So take those days and relax and try to do something good for yourself. You deserve that. You do so much. I couldn't even imagine making two cakes. But it is probably something that you once loved to do. So I could see where you would want to try.
I can see what you mean about not wanting to be alone, but still wanting to be alone. It is as if you do want some time to yourself, but maybe not that much time. That is so understandable and it does make sense. I like spending time by myself, but I wouldn't want to be alone for that long of time. Though a couple of days would be a treat.LOL...
I hope that you have a good night Restless. I hope that it is restful. Keep us posted on how things are going. I hope that you feel much better tomorrow. And me too. I was tired all day long.
I am so glad that you feel safe here and that you have somewhere to escape to when things get tough. You are an incredebly strong person and I admire you for that. Having a stomach bug is enough to knock the wind out of anyone, especially when you are being sick all the time. Is there no way your eldest or your husband can take some of the weight around the house? As for the other things, I think it is a case of making a concious effort to get into a routine and changing one thing at a time. For example, pick a time of day which is best suited for you having a shower (For me its first thing in the morning so I start the day feeling good) and then conciously do it. Apparently it takes ~28 days to form a routine.
Keep your chin up and keep talking to us.