Yah the first time i swallowed an antidepressant i was sooooo scared as well. My first antidepressant (Effexor) gave me so many side effects.. i literally felt like i was drunk. it went away after a couple of days though. the other ones i took (prozac, welbutrin, zoloft) didn't give me any side effects at all ( except for weight gain grrr) Thats all the advice i have for u if u do decide to take pills... be very careful what u eat and exercise!!! The last thing u need is to gain 40 pounds when you're already depressed.
Try not to be too afraid. they don't change who you are..and they help! If you're feeling really crappy definately try them out. you have nothing to lose.