I AM NEW HERE THINK IM DEPRESSED AND REALLY NEED SOME ADVICE

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newbie44
New Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 5/4/2008 1:57 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello,
I am new here and think I am a bit depressed.I don't and never have had depression issues that lasted more than a few days, but this time I have been "down" for about 30 days now and I am a bit concerned
I had to move to a strange city all alone about 30 days ago. I do not know anyone here, I find it hard to make friends, and have given up all I do is work and come home and sleep and when the weekends come I generally sleep them away.

I do not like it but feel helpless to do anything about it! and I really am lucky because I am healthy have a great job, no illnesses and really (life for me is good) but I do not FEEL it and I am depressed. And to make it worse I work totally alone and work out of my home so getting out from 9 to 5 like most people do is not something I do for my work that also enables me to stay home most of the time and I sit here more than I know I should.

I have lost interest in things I used to like, and I don't want to socialize and that is totally not like me! I do not know what to do! there are things I can do but I lack the desire to do them,there are church groups I could attend and some people I have spoken to thru a dating site but I have no desire to do anything and they move on tiring of me not wanting to go out.

I have spoken to my doctor and he gave me lexapro I haven't taken it yet because I worry about the side affects and I want to KICK THIS DEPRESSION with out drugs.

I know things for me are really very very good, many people my age would love my position,a good job,great health, little stress not much debt and really a very good life I KNOW ALL THIS AND I WISH I COULD KICK THIS NASTY DEPRESSED STATE and do it with out drugs I just do not know how.

quite honestly as I said I am so lucky,good health, decent job life IS good but my brain wont cooperate and I feel helpless any ideas? I GREATLY WELCOME ANY HELP!! I am a 44 yr old male good health do not drink no drugs if there are any live forums I can chat or somewhere to call for help I would welcome that information

Post Edited (newbie44) : 5/4/2008 3:12:05 PM (GMT-6)


djdaz_1985
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 5/4/2008 2:06 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi there and Welcome to HealingWell,

Firstly, I want to say that I am glad that you have found us. We are like a big family here and we all care for and support each other.

Moving to a new city where you dont know anyone is always a potential trigger for a depressive episode... I think you have been very brave in going to see a doctor about this as soon as you did and I think that you absolutely did the right thing. Hopefully when the meds take full effect (4-6 weeks) you can start to socialise again. Try smaller tasks and work your way up. Take one day at a time and keep talking to us. I hope this is just a depressive phase for you and that it passes.

Darren


Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
 
"A gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if your not enough without it, you will never be enough with it." - Irvine Blitzer (John Candy) in Cool Runnings
 
Moderator - Epilepsy Forum
Co-Moderator - Depression Forum
 
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newbie44
New Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 5/4/2008 2:20 PM (GMT -7)   
thanks for the insite BUT I havent started the lexapro I am concerned about the side affects and can lexapro really make me want to GO OUT,SOCIALIZE AND BE HAPPIER? I really have NO reason to be in this mental mess because I do have so much, I know these things and cannot understand why I do not want to go out... it is weird and makes no sense to me.I know how lucky I am and I thank god every day for my excellent health,very good job, and the abilities I know I have but since I have moved its like all those GOOD things are locked away and I cannot access them and it makes me miserable, could the lexapro unlock the thoughts and give me the BOOST I need to get better and live a much happier life? are there any places to call for help? I am in no way suicidal so I do not want to call a suicide hotline. I wonder if there is anyone else that has or is going thru this..
Many thanks for your reply!!

yana
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 220
   Posted 5/4/2008 4:58 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi newbie,
Loneliness is root cause of many problems in life,looking for a psycholgist for help sounds like a good plan.Try to develop some hobbies as reading or walking or gardening(if you love plants).Dating and church might not help to deep rooted problems plus loneliness at this age as you don't seem to get out and MID-AGE CRISIS looks like the culprit here (i am no doc but that's my insight).
we are here to listen and offer support !!
feel free to vent here .

hugs
yana
Never work just for money or for power. They won't save your soul or help you sleep at night.
~Marian Wright Edelman~


I have discovered that all human evil comes from this, man's being unable to sit still in a room.
~Blaise Pascal~


newbie44
New Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 5/4/2008 5:12 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for the insight but I don"t think this is a mid life crisis, it is more the changes I made moving away from everyone plus now having no friends here plus my job now is home based so I do not have the luxury of coworkers (although many would find that wonderful) It is a struggle to go out and meet people BUT I just don"t FEEL LIKE IT I rather stay home and I am also sleepy alot so I rest more than I should.
I would love to get MOTIVATED join a club, go to the community pool, join a bowling league, or just something anything BUT I just don't feel like it .

It is because I have been told I AM SUFFERING A BOUT OF DEPRESSION

as my doctor said move away from family and friends tackle a new area in your job and then try to start over,,,,,,,,, who would not be somewhat depressed??? well I had hoped that within 30 days it would go away but it is not, so I do not want to let this continue so I'm reaching out for help. It certainly is not a mid life crisis.

els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 5/4/2008 5:18 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi ya newbie, Welcome to Healing Well forum, we are glad to have you join us here.  A psychologist is a good plan of action.  Since you havent had depression before I can certianly understand this being totally confusing to you.  This funk your in could just be what is commonly called situational depression or adjustment disorder.  Usually it happens when someone has had a major life change...like moving as you did.

I am going to post a link here to WebMD on this and you can read for yourself to see what you think.  http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/mental-health-adjustment-disorder

 


Elisha
Co~Mod: Depression
Moderator: Heart & Cardiovascular Disease
http://www.healingwell.com/donate


newbie44
New Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 5/4/2008 5:29 PM (GMT -7)   
ELS I thank you for your insight I read the article and it sure looks and sounds very much like what you sent to me. When I went to the doctor about this he sent me for blood work and is sending me for a ekg the 15 th and a follow up the 29 th (that is of the month of May) I also have to give a urine/stool sample as he is checking all angles for my health to rule out any underlying problems.

I just wish I could understand why I just feel so lethargic and have no interest in much of anything that I used to enjoy.I know my change of situation and job are the culprit, but why cant I look at it as a challenge? and take this "opportunity" and turn it into a blessing? instead right now it is a curse ! I just cant figure that out

I just know there would be many people that would love to have the opportunity I have been given

It is funny because know I should feel that way BUT MY BRAIN WONT LET ME FEEL THAT WAY sad

els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 5/4/2008 6:04 PM (GMT -7)   

I am glad the article was helpful for you.  It is good that your physician is doing a full work-up just to be sure that everything is as it should be. 

Even once you know what it is and have the insight into it which you apparently do very well, it is still so difficult to make it into a positive situation.  This isnt anything you can control on your own right now.  Depression has many symptoms and reasons/causes for it.  It is a chemical imbalance with the serotonin levels in our brains meaning when someone is depressed or has depression their serotonin level will be lower than someone who doesn’t have depression.  This lower level makes it extremely difficult to function and find any joy in life.  There are lots of people who take antidepressants to help aid them with this.  There are different classes of antidepressants but they mostly do the same thing and that is to replenish the serotonin and or dopamine in the brain.

I can relate to the symptoms that you described well as those are what I feel when my depression gets bad.  I have major depression though and have had it since I was a teenager, I am 34 now.  I take a SSRI (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor) which has worked wonders for me.

I believe in the medication but I dont advocate to anyone one way or the other as this is always a personal choice.  For you, considering it has been a month I dont know that I would start taking a antidepressant just yet.  Usually, situational depression does work itself out within a matter of weeks, or months.  I know that sounds daunting but with your positive attitude and wiliness to change this I really wouldn’t see it being a long drawn out episode considering these.

 


Elisha
Co~Mod: Depression
Moderator: Heart & Cardiovascular Disease
http://www.healingwell.com/donate


newbie44
New Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 5/4/2008 6:14 PM (GMT -7)   
Elisha
I sure hope to lick this DEPRESSION but I will consult with a psychologist and get his/her imput.This is somewhat new to me as I normally do not have depression.I certainly now have a sincere feeling of concern for those that suffer from it on a daily basis.
This is a miserable time for me and I have not felt this bad in over 15 years! a break up of a relationship was the last time I was DOWN like this. and thats been since 1989!

tomorrow 9 am I am calling to make a appt with a psychologist and do all i can to kick this horrible EMPTY feeling! I am staring at my lexapro bottle and will start using it IF the doctors feel I should.I am trying to FORCE myself to do SOMETHING at least once every day.Today it was a walk to my mail box ( that I must say was hard to do) I cannot believe it.. a simple walk to the mail box was a chore?????

I simply cannot and do not want to live like this!! I will do all I can to BOUNCE BACK I am glad this forum exists, any other suggestions are also appreciated!!

Thanks!!!!!

yana
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 220
   Posted 5/4/2008 6:33 PM (GMT -7)   
This empty feeling is awful,hope you pull through it,i know its tough to move to a new place ,working from home is depressive too,looks like you dint like my reply before,anyways

good luck!!
Never work just for money or for power. They won't save your soul or help you sleep at night.
~Marian Wright Edelman~


I have discovered that all human evil comes from this, man's being unable to sit still in a room.
~Blaise Pascal~


newbie44
New Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 5/4/2008 6:37 PM (GMT -7)   
your reply was greatly appreciated!!! I just know the mid life thing and that really doesnt bother me

things came crashing on me once I moved got settled and then began to feel sad, misisng my friends,no desire to make new ones, missing my dog and not being able to have one ( my job may have me travel a bit) and no where to keep her so she is with family in florida but I miss her alot!!

I know the cause! I just cant CURE it on my own... sad

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40584
   Posted 5/4/2008 8:28 PM (GMT -7)   
It kind of sounds like your mind is all over the place with all of the changes that you have been through and you need to get centered. Have you ever tried meditation? It is good for mind and body connection. Brings you back to yourself.

I can't imagine being away from my dogs. Though they do hold me down a lot. But I love them and I would be crying all of the time because of missing them.

I hope that you feel better soon.

hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 5/5/2008 4:36 AM (GMT -7)   

I feel the exact way also about my new new shih-tzu and of course many of you have heard me talk of my over weight cat normandy.  They truely help me through and not focus so much on myself.  Meditation is good as Karen suggested.

One of the biggest things besides the meds that is that has been key to my staying healthly is exercise.  I dragged butt the first few weeks and just started off walking outside in the first part of spring 2 yrs agos.  Before I knew it I was addicted to having to have that exercise in everyday or else I will feel like crap both physically and mentally.  I dont do too much outside now since we have pretty cold winters I moved my regime to the local Healthplex.

Please know we are always here for you.  Keep posting it does help to know you are not alone in this.  Have a wonderful day :-)


Elisha
Co~Mod: Depression
Moderator: Heart & Cardiovascular Disease
http://www.healingwell.com/donate


bionca
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 106
   Posted 5/5/2008 5:15 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi and welcome to HW. If you don't want to use your antidepressant there are a couple of herbs you can take but DO NOT mix them with your prescription. Valerian root or St. John's wart could possibly help you. If you really don't want to take an antidepressant, they may fix you up. Also, give yourself a chance. You sound like a really good person. Moving to a new place can be really hard. I live in upper New York State and I can tell you, when we move up here, no one wanted anything to do with us. I grew up in Northern N.J. (which was more country than what I live in now) but we were still considered "city" people and they really aren't very well liked up here. It take a long time time to make friends. Since you're in a new place, there must be some little something you want or need. Go shop. It'll get you out of the house for a while. Start small and build yourself up. Perhaps you could invite some old friend to where you live now for a visit?? Maybe you could go visit them?? The support system here is amazing. I know, because they've supported me alot lately. Keep posting and I'm sure you'll find that things really do get better.
Diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome, Epstein-Barr virus, and severe depression. Have been on Prozac, cylexa, Effexor, and Wellbutrin. Currently, I'm dealing with my own issues, as well as a husband in a rehab, who also is being diagnosed with depression.

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