Losing a friendship

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New Member

Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 5/7/2008 6:27 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi,still feeling bad today,I cant help stewing over something,here it is.....
I have had this friend for about 10 years, probably my one and only close friendship,She has just stopped talking to me and I dont know why,I have my thoughts about it though, I feel used and very alone I have done so much for her over the years and now I feel like I'm not good enough to be her friend Maybe I shouldnt have gotten so close to her, whenever I get close to someone they seem to screw me around and I think maybe I'm not ment to have friends, Is it me? Is there something wrong with me,I'm a very caring person always wanting to help and when i meet someone maybe i get to attatched and i try to do everything for them to try and earn there friendship,I just dont know.
She knows about me suffering from depression and i thought she cared but she only wanted me around so i could babysit her kids and do stuff for her,and this is not the first time this has happened to me with so called friends, this is why i find it hard making friends I always end up burnt.What is wrong with me......
My mind tells me I'm worthless and i'm ugly and horrible,I hate these thoughts and I hate the feeling of beeing alone......

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 220
   Posted 5/7/2008 7:19 PM (GMT -6)   
jane ,you can be my friend ,i will post my email soon and you can write me anytime.
I had this nice close friend who had kind of anxiety and personality disorder,you don't know how much i helped her to pull her from rough periods in life for 4years,when i needed her during bad patches she was never around so i knew ,she can't listen and provide comfort but just pretending to be a friend.Our friendship faded due to i wasn't responsive to her enough as she got used to me in past and we parted due to indifferences about babysitting issues as well(just an excuse).

DON'T self pity.You did what you wanted whenever you could but she misused your love and friendship.

you are unique and wonderful!!!!!!!!!

you don't need rotten friends like that.You will make much new and better friends than her which make you feel important and welcomed .

SHE WASN'T worth your attention so don't waste time thinking about her.

You don't want a friend who has no value for your friendship.

FRIENDSHIP is always mutual !!!!!!!!!

cheer up and welcome !!!
Never work just for money or for power. They won't save your soul or help you sleep at night.
~Marian Wright Edelman~

I have discovered that all human evil comes from this, man's being unable to sit still in a room.
~Blaise Pascal~

New Member

Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 5/7/2008 7:41 PM (GMT -6)   
That would be great if we could email each other, Thanks for your kind words it means alot.
I know your right, she obviously wasnt a real friend to begin with but it still hurts...
Look forward to talking with you more.... Hope you have a great day

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 752
   Posted 5/8/2008 8:04 AM (GMT -6)   

Hi there 'becijane'..Whatever has happened between you and your friend - I do not believe that you are 'worthless' person..in fact I see the opposite :-) You must have been heaps together over the last 10 years - you probably supported each other thru good times and bad..and maybe given time she will come round and realise that she misses you too.

In a way she has done you a favour - she had made you realise what a great friend you really are, you put heaps of time and effort in and I believe you mentioned that you are a 'caring person' all positive things that you should be proud of :-) I always think that where one door shuts - another opens..and while you are not babysitting your friends' kids etc. take some time out just for you..treat yourself to something special - do you have hobbies that you can immerse yourself in - distraction is a geat way to stop 'over thinking' a situation.. Is it possible for you to take a step forward and join a club or organisation and meet lots of people with similar interests - being friendly with lots of people is so much less 'intensive' than having just 'one' close friend :-)

Keep posting.


  •  'Raindrops on roses..'
  •  'Peace of mind will come to us when we are happy with 'not knowing'...
  •  'No more stinkin thinkin...'
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Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 363
   Posted 5/8/2008 9:45 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey there,
don't blame yourself for your friend's behaviour, I am uber needy at times and my friends totally look after me, some of them have been friends for 20 years, some for much less!! 
You sound like your quite insecure - I can relate to this as I am also insecure, you need to learn to love yourself!! 
my best friend and I had a bit of a disagreement over Christmas and ever since then there has been a really bad atmosphere, and then at the weekend, we were out in a bigger group of friends, both a little bit drunk and we got chatting and resolved our differences, we'd both just blown things out of proportion and misunderstood the real issues and haven't spent much time toghether for 4 moths as a result, maybe you should try having a good talk with your friend to see if you can resolve things??
Li x
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