Company is coming, how do I deal with it?

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Anne_76
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 5/16/2008 9:39 AM (GMT -7)   
I have only been here a few times and since my last post I have been to the doctor and am now on Wellbutrin, I am a month in and just this week was bumped up from 150s to 300s. The 150s were just not getting the job done.

My sons birthday was the 6th and we had his party on the Saturday before, my family came, my parents, my brother, my sister and her husband and baby. They spent the weekend here. When they come it is very stressful for me. There are so many little things that they do that annoy me and some rather big things that make me want to pull my hair out. It has only been two weeks and I am not yet over that weekend, my parents are coming for another visit next weekend, they will be here from Thursday evening to Sunday. I know that I can not handle this, but I can not tell them not to come, they don't live close and they want to spend time with the grandchildren. So I would feel guilty for saying No you can't come. My husband said I should just tell them I'm not feeling good and that would be true I am not feeling good, but they are my parents and I can't do that. How do I cope with the constant noise, constant complaining, giving my children things I don't want them to have, telling me how I need to be living, talking about things that I don't want to talk about and making little of those things I do talk about, ignoring me totally or cutting me off in the middle of a sentence and never letting me pick back up again. Critizing what I watch, what I read, and what I wear. Why is it that it has to be an emotional battle for me each and every time they come? I am just wondering, should I lay down some ground rules before they come, let them know what bothers me and ask them not to do it, I have a whole list, it boggles the mind some of it.

My medicine has not kicked in totally yet and this has been a really really bad week, right now I see no light at the end, I see no light at all and all I want to do is go to sleep. How am I suppose to deal with them all over again so soon?
The center of the problem never knows it's the problem, all it knows is it has a problem with all the problems that have a problem with it, what it doesn't realize is if it wasn't a problem all the other problems wouldn't be a problem.


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40603
   Posted 5/16/2008 10:16 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Anne,

If things get stressful for you, you could always tell them that you don't feel good and lay down for a while. That is what I do. Though I have fibromyalgia along with the depression.

Is your husband good at entertaining them? That is my husband does for me. He takes over and lets me rest. I am thinking if you know that you can always walk away and go lay down for a while, that alone could take a lot of the stress off. I know it is hard. We have a small home and don't have room for company to stay so that helps a lot.

I am sure that there will be others who will come along and give you more advice. So be patient, we will try to help you get through this. Sometimes company does disrupt our routine too, that alone is stressful. I wish you luck with this.

hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


jordaNZone
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 752
   Posted 5/17/2008 2:24 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi there Anne..

Your husband sounds like he is very supportive and I agree with his suggestion. I think it's time for you to take charge of the situation and delay your parents visit for a couple of weeks at least. You are married, and have children of your own now...your batteries are running a little low and I think you owe it to yourself, your husband and your children to take this time to chill out a little and have a well deserved break :-)  

Maree


 
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enWayen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 5/17/2008 3:29 AM (GMT -7)   
Heej Anne,

I agree with Maree, and with your husband. You don't feel good now, and you shouldn't do things that will make you feel even worse. Wait a few weeks to see if the meds kick in. If they do, you will feel better, and it inviting your parents then will be better for you, for your husband, and for your parents.

All the best!
Erik
Acceptance is the key

Existential depression and Insecurity

Try to keep smiling! :)

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