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froggy1011
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 135
   Posted 5/18/2008 10:04 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey all,
 
haven't posted here in a while. I thought I had gotten over depression once again, but it was only a sad hope. I was feeling on the top of the world. But then i came crashing down and hit hard. I feel like i have no one to talk to. It odd... before... i was always down and i wouldnt have a real reason... but now... it seems like its all centered around my mom... she doesnt seem to understand that what she says to me, makes me feel so much more worse... what she says i guess wouldnt be so bad to someone who is not depressed, but to me, it hits me hard right in the gut. She just start talking to me out of the blue and point out all of my mistakes and what i dont do right... and shed make me feel like all of it was myfault... it just might be, but it really hurts inside to know that my mom seemingly hates me. Ive always thought of talking to her to tell her all of this stuff, but i know that either she wouldnt let me finish and start her little tangent on me, or id get choked up and not even be able to say anything and then id look like an idiot, wanting to tell her something, but cant... Right now, i feel like i have no one who cares and wants to listen to me. (here being colorado in my life) Everything just seems to be falling out of control, bits of my life falling to the abyss and i can only watch and try to make it through the day. Like ive said many times in my previous posts, I dont know what to do anymore... i feel like i want to just give up and let everything slip, but i know that that'll just make everything worse and i proabably wont get anywhere. I'm lost...
 
Froggy
~"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us." ~Helen Keller


enWayen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 5/19/2008 3:04 AM (GMT -7)   
Eej Froggy,

I care, and I want to listen to whatever you have to say, you know that. You have a wonderful quote as signature, maybe you could try to live by that. You feel lost, try to find the open door. Every organism, every single cell of your body, every object imaginable contains a door to happiness. Try to look for the positive things in everything you do, see, hear, or feel. Try to find that door. Eventually, it may open the most important door, the door within yourself, so that you can be happy forever.

And try not to blame your mother for everything that is wrong. You might feel irritation every time she is around, but that irritation serves no purpose, it just make you feel bad. Those who have never been depressed before don't know how it feels, and I think it is wrong to blame the unknown for things they did not know.

I wish you all the best Froggy!
Erik
Acceptance is the key

Existential depression and Insecurity

Try to keep smiling! :)


djdaz_1985
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 5/19/2008 3:11 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Froggy,

Something has jumped into my head and im going to throw it out to you... have you been questioned/assessed for Bi-Polar Disorder? From the way you post, it sounds like your mood goes up and down like a yoyo and when your in a good mood, your in a great mood and when your in a low mood, your in a really low mood. Might be something to consider.

Back to the problem in hand... sounds like a communication problem to me. Are you able to sit down with your mum and have an adult conversation about this? To a certain extent I agree with your mum since I dont think that sugar coating everything for people is a good think because it gives them a false perspective but there is a time and a place for honesty and tactfulness is always a good skill to learn. Could you talk to your mum about this?

Darren


Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
 
"A gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if your not enough without it, you will never be enough with it." - Irvine Blitzer (John Candy) in Cool Runnings
 
Moderator - Epilepsy Forum
Co-Moderator - Depression Forum
 
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
 


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40599
   Posted 5/19/2008 6:34 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Froggy,

I am so glad that you come here when you are feeling down. You know that we are always here for you. So I think that this is a safe place for you to come here to vent.

I really hope that we can help you to start feeling better soon. You are a wonderful person and deserve to feel good. Keep posting, we will help you in any way that we can. You have put out a lot of good advice to others, not it is our turn to do that for you.

Keep your chin up and remember that we are here for you.

Luv and hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


tpoof
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 34
   Posted 5/19/2008 8:39 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey !!!!

Turn that frown upside down!

I'll pray for you! :-)

Things WILL get better!! cool

You'll see yeah
a perforated Diverticlum survivor and colostomy wearer

May 02/2008


froggy1011
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 135
   Posted 5/19/2008 2:00 PM (GMT -7)   
thanks to everyone...

Darren: I haven't exactly been assessed for bi polar... when i went to my general doc, i basically told him that i've been feeling down a lot and he just prescribed an anti-depressant. I never went through a formal diagnosis... Also, about me and my mom sitting down and having a conversation never seems to get me anywhere. I guess i never developed those skills, because I've never had to do this before.... i don't know how to start one and I don't know how to keep one going in a productive pace... Id say something and then my mom would say something and then she would say more and then i'd get really emotional (i don't know why... i just seem to get like that) and then i can't exactly carry on with it. I feel dumb because i don't know how to do this and i probably should know how... do you think you could give me some pointers?

Again thanks ... i know that i con always count on you guys to make me feel, if only a little, better :)

Froggy
~"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us." ~Helen Keller


djdaz_1985
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 5/20/2008 4:22 AM (GMT -7)   

Hey Froggy,

Its nothing to be embrrased about... communication seems to be a dying art-form these days. There are loads of people who cant do it or feel uncomfortable doing it. The good thing is that you are prepared to try and learn... and the only real way to do that is to practice.

Before you start the conversation, you need to pick a good time and have a list of things you want to discuss. Starting this after your mum has had a row on the phone to the gas board is not a smart move! If it helps you remember, write down the things you want to talk about. I would start the conversation by saying something like "Mum, I need to have a conversation with you but I need it to be honest and not end in a row..." If you get upset, its OK to cry. Its not a sign of weakness, just an expression of emotion. As for a productive pace, that is largely dependent on you. If it fels comfortable to you then its probably right. Long drawn out silences are not good. If you get big gaps in speech, change the subject... it probably means that youv'e reached the end of the conversation on that topic unless you have something specific you want to address. Its always nice to end the conversation with a thank-you and a hug. After all, you have both helped each other and its nice to show your gratitude and also to show that you dont hate her for being honest and saying something that upset you.

All the best

Darren


Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
 
"A gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if your not enough without it, you will never be enough with it." - Irvine Blitzer (John Candy) in Cool Runnings
 
Moderator - Epilepsy Forum
Co-Moderator - Depression Forum
 
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
 


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 5/20/2008 4:46 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Froggy
I am so sorry that you are not feeling better. I wish I had a magic pill for you.

Have you gotten into the doctor yet?
Shy


Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia

Please remember,I am not a professional..I am just a person who is also fighting depression.


I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here.


tpoof
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 34
   Posted 5/23/2008 6:06 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Froggy.... :-)
Things lookin up at all?
I'm still prayin for ya. yeah

If you ever need sumptin... I'll listen.

somehow I feel for the little amphibian. tongue

Someetimes ma's can be hard to talk to,, with mine its easy to get riled..
no need thou... like water off a ducks back eh...
The silent strength within! scool

Things will ge better..
you'll see yeah
a perforated Diverticlum survivor and colostomy wearer

May 02/2008


tpoof
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 34
   Posted 5/24/2008 7:57 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey! Its a new day!!

Feelin better yet?

I'm checking up on you!! yeah

ribbet tongue
a perforated Diverticlum survivor and colostomy wearer

May 02/2008

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