Post Edited (Darkies Gem) : 5/25/2008 2:13:29 AM (GMT-6)
Not really been much of a better day today. Again ran off and took a bus to shoppng center too get away, nurses weren't too impressed and mae me leave my mobile number, but ah well.
Hope you're alright hun xx
Hi Darkies Gem,
Im sorry this that all come back again. Diazepam is a good short term solution but as you say, it is addictive. As for abilify, im not 100% sure. I think it can be addictive but dont quote me on that. (I bet Navy knows though! Maybe she is the best person to ask) Hopefully this is just a minor setback and you will settle down again after a day of crying. Things would be boring if they always went according to plan right? 3 steps forward 1 step back, yeh? It still means your 2 steps forward... and thats gotta be a good thing!
Keep your chin up and try not to get food poisoning! lol (Id stick with the salad... its healthier anyway!)
Paul's finding it really tough too, but I don't know what I can say too him, as I'm just trying too keep it together.
I am so sorry and I do understand how you feel. One year I had what I referred to as my funeral wardrobe. When someone dies we are reminded of our own mortality and that can be very frightening. We also grieve for the ones who have died, even if we did not know them well we identifiy with their families.
Loosing a pet is a great loss, our pets love us and never judge us so seeing one die is traumatic. I know, I lost one of my dogs last winter. You also are in an environment where you see more people die. As a nurse I saw alot of that and I cried with more then one family.
I think it is important for you to take some time and just be in the moment, don't dwell on the past, mourn your losses and then remember these people you loved would want you to be happy. I know this feeling well as I try to tell myself the very same when I am feeling down. I know my Father would want me to live a good and happy life. So I sometimes talk to myself and tell myself I am fine. This is my time to be alive and I will honor the ones who have gone before me by living life well.
Be kind to yourself, Gems and keep on talking to us. Let out your sadness and fears.
Love to you my gentle friend,
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety, Panic & Depression *~*
Keep looking into cookies cage, am going too have too move it I think. I'm not allowed another hamster now. cookie was bought too get me over the death of my little sunny who died last year. Now I just miss them both like crazy instead of just one of them. I know they're only hamsters, and I didn't expect them too last forever, but it's still upsetting that they're now gone.
Still waiting to find out when our friends funeral will be. You're right about having a funeral wardrobe kitt. I have a few outfits too pick from now.
I thinks it's just such a shock, as before august last year, I'd know 2 people who had died. Also, I don't think seeing people being whisked by at 6am in a bod bag, while in hospital as helped feeling so sad about people dying. The only thing that's helping, is thinking they are going away too be angels, in a land I can only dream of.
Post Edited (Darkies Gem) : 6/4/2008 3:55:55 AM (GMT-6)
I cannot begin to understand the terror and the fear you go through with this disease. I do know you are brave, caring and you are fighting with all your might to try to live as normally as you can.
I wish you were closer to your hospital and that 2 hour bus rides were not necessary as you may feel you are resting but I suspect your mind is not resting...........it is racing.
I know with each episode that is happening your hopes diminish but do not let that happen Gems..............don't you dare to let go of your dreams. Yes the funeral wardrobe sucked but it also allowed me to honor the person I had lost and to be there for them whenever I could.
My sister died in November and Only myself and my other sister were with her. Although we loved her and knew we would be sad forever at seeing her die, we knew we had to hold her hand while she went to be with her husband and her only child who had died before her. So we honored her and we talk about her and we know the world was lucky to have had her as she was a good person and loved so many people.
Remember to try to stay in the moment. You can do this. Do not give up. Get mad, feel sad and allow your emotions to come out but never give up Gems, we all need you.
Post Edited (Darkies Gem) : 6/13/2008 11:22:51 AM (GMT-6)
Bushels of turnips coming your way...........oh wait no, that can't be right. Now I remember it is bushels of hugs for you my sweet British Princess.
I am so sorry that you have lost another friend to this disease. I empathize with you and I wish I was there as I would walk with you and you could explain just what high tea really is?
I don't understand all the numbers but your enzymes are like crazy zymes on meth. Holy Moley Batman, they are high in the sky. How do they bring them down without messing with your AD med and what happens to you without the Remeron? I am so glad you are a good advocate for yourself.
I am sorry your hubby is not understanding as I am going through a mini-version of the same. I have to do what keeps me going and keeps me in the moment or I will break. For you that is your studies and getting out of your apartment, not being alone. That makes sense to me. I am sure it makes sense to all who have depression and deal with it daily. We do what we have to if we want to stay in the game.
I wish there was more I offer you but you always have my shoulder, it is really broad. Please know I care and I am here for you.
A toast to your kidneys...............love you hun.
Post Edited (Darkies Gem) : 6/14/2008 4:11:35 AM (GMT-6)