Erik and Shy have covered pretty much everything I was going to say! Please feel free to talk here as often as you need. We are like a big family here and we all care for and support each other. There is never a shortage of people who understand how you feel.
Helo Blue and Welcome to Healing Well, This is Kitt. I am very glad to meet you.
You have received some fantastic advice already. On the meds, yes it does take 4-6 weeks for the full effect of the meds for most people. You will not have an "aha" moment but you should just start to feel less sad and apathetic.
It's important to remember that people who have good emotional health sometimes have emotional problems or depression. Depression often has a physical cause, such as a chemical imbalance in the brain. Stress and problems with family, work or school can sometimes trigger depression or make it worse. However, people who are emotionally healthy have learned ways to cope with stress and problems. They know when they need to seek help from their doctor or a counselor. I have to tell you I am very impressed reading your post as you are doing all these things. You have a counselor, you have been to the Doctors and now you have the desire and the determination to work your way to the light at the end of the tunnel.
At your age you are going through so many changes and I feel you are under a lot of pressure from your Mom, am I right? You know anything you talk to your counselor about is confidential and if you build a trust relationship with this person, he/she can be your best ally right now. I am sorry your Mom is not understanding your problems but I am sure she loves you and is just afraid of the unknown.
You are obviously extremely talented but sometimes even when we love something we do, it does overwhelm us. I love to read too and I read mostly for pleasure. It helps me relax and takes my mind off any other issues that I might be feeling down about.
I agree with Erik............stay in the moment. As we go through the day we find ourselves focusing on past experiences or future possibilities. We are so involved in yesterday and tomorrow that we never even notice that today is slipping by. Sit in the sunshine and let it warm you.
We are here and you are part of the HW family now so please know we care.