Hi Confusidi..I have a question for you...
Do you think that you have learned to react like this from something that has happened in the past? I began to realise after going to counselling years ago that a lot of my behaviour/reactions were from such things eg. even childhood experiences..just a thought By the way - it takes a lot of soul searching and hard work to iron out these things..but believe me it can be done!
Kitt and Karen have given you great advice and I wish you well.
Please dont feel that you are on your own with this kind of problem. It is really common and I think (as other people have already said) that councilling is a good option. It sounds like you may need to clear something up with your councillor which will allow you to become more emotionally close to someone. I have never had a relationship so I am not really an expert here but I know from friends that when you have been hurt a couple of times, it is hard to learn to trust someone again and allow them to get close. Maybe this is what the problem is.