Don't know whats wrong with me anymore

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Confusedli
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Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 363
   Posted 6/9/2008 5:36 AM (GMT -7)   
I feel so lost and confused all the time these days.  I feel that I am constantly on a rollercoaster.  One minute I'm happy, the next sad, the next angry, the next emotional etc.  I am totally irrational a lot of the time.  I get moody if my boyfriend wants to spend time with his friends, I get jealous over nothing and I constantly think he is going to leave me - even though he has proved otherwise. I am thinking constantly and finding it hard to stay in the here and now, always thinking about the past or worrying about the future.  I can't stand to be on my own and find myself making plans that I don't even really enjoy, just so that I don't have to stay in! I don't feel traditionally depressed though, just completely messed up! I feel lonely when I'm in a room full of people who love me, I have my boyfriend, a loving family and fabulous friends yet I feel alone. I have tons to do yet I feel bored!  Feel that everything is just a contradiction these days! I am lucky in many many ways, I have a good job, family, bf, friends, I am healthy, and intelligent, I have many things to be thankful for - yet I am never content! I can't relax as my mind is constantly throwing things at me to stress about!  Just don't know what to do anymore!

bringmebackhome
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Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 67
   Posted 6/9/2008 5:51 AM (GMT -7)   
hmm, I feel for you I do... I understand what you're talking about and I wish I had something to tell you but I don't even know what to do when I start to feel like this, I can say that I'm sorry you are feeling like this and that I'm here to listen.
bring me back home
bipolar I


stkitt
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Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 6/9/2008 6:33 AM (GMT -7)   

Good Morning,

Have you ever had a counselor to help you work through your depression. You will be surprised how much this may help you as well as perhaps medications.

Please make an appointment with your PCP to get a medical screening exam to make sure your problems are not physical.   Then talk to you PCP about how you are feeling.

Keep coming here and posting.  You will fine the members warm and friendly.

Hugs

Kitt


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety, Panic & Depression 
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~


Confusedli
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 363
   Posted 6/9/2008 6:41 AM (GMT -7)   
I have been seeing a counsellor for about 2 months now, every 2 weeks, and it is helping me with the depression, It's also helping me to open us as generally I find it really hard to talk to even the people closest to me!

I will going and see my Doctor this week I think, I have never tried any medication, but I think now might well be the time! I feel that anything is worth a try lately!

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40574
   Posted 6/9/2008 10:31 AM (GMT -7)   
Good deal,

You are taking all of the right steps. I think in time this will pass with help from your doctor and a counselor.

In the meantime we are here for you so keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

Luv and hugs, Karen...
  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Confusedli
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 363
   Posted 6/11/2008 3:37 AM (GMT -7)   
Feeling bad again today, causing arguements with people over nothing and feel really bored at work. Also feeling stressed as my car isn't working very well and keeps not starting, which makes me feel that I have lost my independence and that I can't go to the gym, see my boyfriend(as he doen't drive) or do anything (I live in a village quite out of the way and so it is difficult to use public transport) I also feel that there are so many things I want to do that I can't do because I have no time!
Am at work at the minute and actually feel like crying, with no good reason whatsoever apart from my thoughts are running away with me!
Just keep trying to think about the weekend, which should be lovely, but even feeling stressed about that with no good reason! Don't know whats going on with me these days,

Just needed to get that out!
 
 
"The Optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious of the rose."


djdaz_1985
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Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 6/11/2008 4:52 AM (GMT -7)   
I know its hard to stay in the present... I find it hard sometimes. Especially when I have exam grades due etc. Try and remember this: "Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery and Today is a gift... thats why its called present". Its from a really silly animated film but I think its quite deep and profound.

Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
 
"A gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if your not enough without it, you will never be enough with it." - Irvine Blitzer (John Candy) in Cool Runnings
 
Moderator - Epilepsy Forum
Co-Moderator - Depression Forum
 
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Confusedli
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 363
   Posted 6/11/2008 4:57 AM (GMT -7)   
Yeah I have heard that quote before, and I know it's right (as corny as it might be!!lol) but my mind just gets carried away from me and as much as I try & stay in the present, I end up obsessing over the past of stressing over the future!  I will try harder!
 
 
"The Optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious of the rose."


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40574
   Posted 6/11/2008 6:25 AM (GMT -7)   
There are many different things that we can do to stay in the present. I know that you can do this with practice. You might want to pick up some books on cognitive therapy, that really helps.

Sometimes you can just shut your eyes for a moment and listen to what is going on around you at that moment. There are other ways to practice also.

I hope that this helps some, also counseling really helps. I wish you luck with this situation.

hugs, Karen...
  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Confusedli
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 363
   Posted 6/11/2008 6:29 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks, I will need it!!! I'm really winding myself up at the minute!!!  Just doing some drawing to try and take my mind off things!
 
I will look for some books, any recommendations? I always have really good intentions and buy them and then don't read them!! 
 
 
"The Optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious of the rose."


getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40574
   Posted 6/11/2008 6:36 AM (GMT -7)   
There is one book that I have enjoyed. It is called 'the new mood therapy' by dr. Burns. I like the first edition best, easier reading. Another one is called 'healing the inner child', I can't remember the author.

I wish Erik would chime in, he knows a lot of good books for this particular situation. I do a lot of meditation, which helps put you in the now. It is what they call 'stinking thinking' that gets us to dwell on the past and worry about the future. I take a medication called 'abilify' and that really helps me to stay in the now.

I hope that this helps some.

Luv and hugs, Karen.

Doing tai chi also helps because you are focused on yourself at the moment. Your breathing, your movements and your surroundings. I will try to come up with some more information to help you...
  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Confusedli
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 363
   Posted 6/11/2008 6:39 AM (GMT -7)   
Thats great - really appreciate it,
 
I have tried Yoga and found that to help - not sure why but I stopped going - Maybe I will give that another go!
 
I will have a look for those books aswell, willing to give anything a go at the minute, feel like I'm totally loosing the plot!!
 
 
"The Optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious of the rose."


getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40574
   Posted 6/11/2008 7:01 AM (GMT -7)   
Confusedli,

The reason that I said to look for the first edition of the 'new mood therapy' is because I got the newer one and it is harder to read, but still has a lot of good information in it. So if you can't find the older one, try the other one. You can order it over internet. That is where I found the newer one. There is so much good information in it.

Once you start living in the now, life becomes so much easier. I use to spend so much time worrying about things in the future that I could do nothing about. It is such a waste of energy. Or I would remember something that happened in the past. I would get right in that mind set and be angry over nothing all over again. I guess that is the dirty tricks department of our minds. But as they say, there is no time like the present.

Sometimes when you are out of the present if you repeat in your mind, the word 'STOP' three times, it will bring you back.

Do you go to counseling? That often helps.

I am happy that you do yoga, that is so good for you. And I think that I mentioned meditation. You focus on your breathing and forget everything else. Relax your muscles also. That takes your mind off of all the heavy weight that is there.

My Grandmother use to clean when she had problems, 'work is the best medicine' she would say. That worked. There are a lot of little things (tricks) that you can do. But I think that the yoga will help you, I really do. Atleast it will help you while you are doing it and you can enjoy that period of time. Also thinking of things that you really enjoy can help. You aren't actually living in the moment but your mind will be in a good place.

Take care, keep posting.

luv and hugs, Karen...
  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Confusedli
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 363
   Posted 6/11/2008 7:09 AM (GMT -7)   
Yes I do go to counselling, but it's expensive so I only go every 2 weeks, It helps, I find it hard because sometimes I get so confused I can't articulate myself properly and my thoughts run away from me!!  But gradually I am becoming more comfortable and it's becoming easier!
 
Yes I will get back in to the yoga, I used to really enjoy it, If I am busy I am generally ok, it's when I'm on my own, or bored at work that I start thinking......  not good!!
 
Anyway thanks for your advice, it's really useful,
 
Li
 
 
"The Optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious of the rose."


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40574
   Posted 6/11/2008 7:51 AM (GMT -7)   
Try writing a list of the things that you would like to talk about, that is what I do. Otherwise it all just leaves my brain and I don't know why I am there.

Good luck, I am happy you get to see yours every two weeks, I go every six weeks due to the price of gas now.

Have a good day Confused,

Luv and hugs, Karen...
  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 6/15/2008 7:37 AM (GMT -7)   

Good Morning Confused

I am hoping you are doing better but wanted to check in on you.

The is a self help course online that I believe you would benefit that uses CBT.

A Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a psychotherapy based on modifying everyday thoughts and behaviors, with the aim of positively influencing emotions. The general approach developed out of modification behavior  and Cognitive Therapy, and has become widely used to treat psychopathology, including mood disorders and anxiety disorders.

The particular therapeutic techniques vary according to the particular kind of client or issue, but commonly include keeping a diary of significant events and associated feelings, thoughts and behaviors; questioning and testing assumptions or habits of thoughts that might be unhelpful and unrealistic; gradually facing activities which may have been avoided; and trying out new ways of behaving and reacting.

 Relaxation and distraction techniques are also commonly included. CBT is widely accepted as an evidence-based, cost-effective psychotherapy for many disorders. It is sometimes used with groups of people as well as individuals, and the techniques are also commonly adapted for self-help manuals. Reference: Wikipedia

theMoodGYM

 
MoodGYM makes frequent use of multimedia presentations and graphics, you work along online at your own pace.  Try it and stick with it.  At first it seems to easy but keep at it.
 
Take Care
Kitt



 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety, Panic & Depression 
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~


Lindaloo
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Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 1713
   Posted 6/15/2008 9:36 AM (GMT -7)   
Sounds like you might benefit from a mood stabilizer. Discuss that with your doctor. Even if you are taking antidepressants, sometimes adding a mood stabilizer helps with the severe mood swings. It saved my life, I know.

Gentle Hugs,
Lindaloo
Moderator Chronic Pain
 
Believe in yourself.  Be kind to fellow humans and animals.  Take time to smell the flowers and the coffee.
And by all means, when you are down, ask me for help.  I will be there.
 
Linda


Confusedli
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 363
   Posted 6/15/2008 1:47 PM (GMT -7)   
Kitt,

Thanks for your message, I think I will give the mood gym thing a go! I'll let you know how it goes!

Linda - I don't take anti depressants, but yes I might speak to my doctor about mood stabilizers as I have talked about and thought about this before, to be honest every time I think about it - I always think I won't bother coz it will pass - and it does, but then it comes back!!!
 
 
"The Optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious of the rose."


JustMeAndYou
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 6/17/2008 3:27 PM (GMT -7)   
I found that I feel exactly like that right around the time my period is due and what helps is to get a diary and dump EVERYTHING uncencored onto the pages. It might look like I am rambling but once all the day's frustrations and moods are out of my head, I really found myself to be quite calm. If I have enother mood swing, all I have to do is pick up the pen and let it flow...
I knew that if I vented to a live person, I may have to explain or justify something I said but in a diary, it's for your eyes ONLY!

Good luck - I need to go get my diary!

Confusedli
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 363
   Posted 6/18/2008 3:57 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Justmeandyou,

I write quite a bit in a diary aswell, sometimes it helps and sometimes it just gets me upset!!! Sometimes I write poems aswell!!! They aren't very good, but it's a good way of saying what I'm feeling!! Or I'll write a letter to someone, one that I'll never send, but that helps me to move on from my frustration, or see that I'm making something small in to something huge!
 
 
"The Optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious of the rose."


tigereye
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 21
   Posted 6/19/2008 5:51 AM (GMT -7)   
hi there,it sounds as though your going through a rough time at the moment.however your putting pressure on yourself i think.maybe you need to find another niche in life .i mean youve got all these wonderful things in your life  and you feel like you have to be content right.people have all these different hats they where and think they have to act accordingly when they do.like mother ,wife ,partner,work, daughter ,friend ,housemanager ,wotever.but what about you .the hardest thing is finding answers searching for that thing that alleviates the loneliness,emptiness ,lack of wholeness we all feel at some point in our lives.it is a huge rollercoaster and for some they are always searching.butsometimes it can actually be fun to try.i dont know how old you are,but i found i especially felt this when id had my kids got married,got bored with my career and it became a job instead of a passion and vocation.it was worse when i hit 40.ive managed to find knew things in my life,interests,a different circle of friends through my interests,and to have people in my life that dont put pressure on me to be something else  and who care about my wellbeing ie like minde people.ive felt the chaos your feeling now its scary and you feel like its not going to end,find a good support a cousellor think also about the bigger picture are you doing things in your life that will impact the mood swings,ie alcohol plays a huge part in bringing down moods,as doeds lack of adequate nutrition,sometimes hormonal issues make it worse ,especially the swings.i felt suicidal 1-2 weeks of every month and ended up asking for a referral to a hormone specialist and after numerous treatments and a yoyo weight i found something that halfed the problems i had been having.im not saying that what works for me will work for you or anyone else but its food for thought.dont do anything on impulse or make any big life decisions when your like this,wait til things settle or you may wreck things andregret it later when things are settled.hope this helps take care tigereye.

tigereye
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 21
   Posted 6/19/2008 5:53 AM (GMT -7)   
oh and by the way you cant change the past thats a fact,but you can change the way you think and react to it perhaps with the help of a good counsellor.    tigereye

Confusedli
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 363
   Posted 6/20/2008 12:52 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Tigereye
 
I could relate to that - sometimes I do feel that I have to act accordingly to what others want, like I am constantly wearing the mask that whoever wants to see! I feel like I am always taking on a different role, none of which is actaully my own self!  Sometimes I can't even remember who that is anymore!
 
I am seeing a counsellor tho, have been seeing her maybe about 8 weeks now, every 2 weeks, and it's really helping, I feel that I have moved forward, even if it is just small steps so far! I even look forward to seeing her which I never thought I would! So I am becoming able to control my thinking marginally better!! Fingers crossed I will get there at some point!!
 
 
"The Optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious of the rose."


Confusedli
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 363
   Posted 6/20/2008 2:42 AM (GMT -7)   
I'm struggeling with a mad bit of negative thinking today, it is threatening to bring me down! The fight is on!
 
 
"The Optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious of the rose."


Beyond my Control
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 16
   Posted 6/20/2008 2:53 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello,
I'm Stuart and I strongly believe writing down your thoughts, bad,bad and maybe good help's in some, maybe small capacity. Each and everyone of us have different experiences with depression however, we all have something in common we suffer it!!!!

Please keep writing and in time, I'm sure in time the positives in our lives will shine.

Chat soon, hang in it's worth the effort.

Stuart, author (Beyond my Control) Take care
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