Still struggling with bad feelings about my so called friend

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 6/9/2008 12:51 PM (GMT -7)   
I know I must sound like i'm really complaining alot about the argument I had with my friend. I just don't know how to get over my bad, hurt feelings.  She has hurt me so many times before and we managed to get past it but this time I feel is the straw that broke the camel's back.  I am so upset it is hard for me to do anything.  I have tried getting out of the house but not for too long as the weather is really bad.  I have tried needlepointing and reading or watching TV but I can't let go of the mean things she said to me.  I have decided not to talk to her for a while - I have caller ID so I don't have to pick up if she calls me. I know I need to let go of this but I need some help with how to do it.  I can't believe that a friend I have known for so many years could be so nasty and cruel.  I would appreciate any words of advice any of you would have for me.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40603
   Posted 6/9/2008 1:01 PM (GMT -7)   
I don't know how much advice that I can give to you, but I know how you feel. My sister in law blocked my emails because I sent her a few forwards. I want to so badly write her ( since she supposedly took the block off) but I know that would just be feeding it. So I am doing all that I can to not write and say anything, but I want to let her know that it hurt. Is it even worth it? I don't know....

I hope that you can find a way to just ignore it, same with my problem.

hugs, Karen...
  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 6/9/2008 4:18 PM (GMT -7)   

Hello Aurora,

I am sorry this is continuring to bother you but I feel perhaps you would do best with dealing with confrontation then letting it fester.

Positive confrontation is a growing experience. It's bringing something to a head; it's putting your challenges behind you; it's making your life better by attacking your problems head on.

If you want to remain friends with this person and have a relationship with her you should tell her how you feel up front.  If you do not care to continue the relationship, I think it would serve you best to let it go and move on.
 
It will be painful for you for awhile but allowing a problem to fester will make it worse.
Bless you
Kitt
 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety, Panic & Depression 
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~


Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 6/9/2008 5:35 PM (GMT -7)   
You are right Kitt about letting it go.  I did confront her with how badly she hurt me.  I talked to my therapist about it today and she was glad I stood up for myself and told the friend how I felt.  I am planning for a while maybe a month or 6-8 weeks not talking to her. If we get together with others in the group and she is there I will be polite but as far as I am concerned the friendship has been damaged beyond repair.  I know I should forgive her and eventually I will, but she has said many things in the past that have been hurtful and this time she went too far.  She just blurts out something without even thinking about her words or how they might affect someone. She knows she has upset me in the past and has promised not to do it anymore but she just can't seem to help herself about talking.  She is a very nervous person and sometimes when I get off the phone with her I feel like I have had 20 cups of coffee.  So forgiving is the right thing to do but the friendship has changed completely and I am working very hard to let it go.  It's not easy.

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 6/10/2008 8:58 AM (GMT -7)   

Aurora,

I am doing the happy dance yeah yeah tongue yeah :-) cool yeah tongue scool smurf :-) :-) yeah

You did the right thing.  It took me a long time to do it, but when I finally figured out my girlfriend was toxic and she knew she was doing her snide comments on purpose, I finally had the courage to accept that I could easily live without her in my life. No more tears, no more hurt feelings and no more worrying about what to get her for Christmas.......shame on me.  devil
Kudos to you my friend

Kitt


 

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety, Panic & Depression 
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Saturday, December 10, 2016 9:04 PM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,736,191 posts in 301,359 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151449 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, iwanttocry.
232 Guest(s), 10 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
ResilienceR, Mews2much, tickcheckguy, Serenity Now, robby vieira, Redwing57, Lynnwood, lotdaisy, Mister Mike, julymorning


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer