They dont want me!?

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Lost Kate
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 6/13/2008 6:44 PM (GMT -7)   
As i have written before.. my past has led me to some pretty sore trust issues. I cant help but Think that my boyfriend is up to something...
He tells me all the time that he Loves ME and no one else and that he's with me because I'm the ONLY one he ever wants to be with, but just that past of mine, makes me accuse him and misjudge him... I KNOW deep down, that i can trust him, and i Know he's faithful and loyal to me. But i cant seem to get that past my head... We had a recent argument when i got really jealous of this GORGEOUS girl that he was talking to, and he told me that i keep pushing him away because he feels like i dont trust him... I DO thought... but i dont know how to show it.. PLEASE HELP ME??
 
Kate

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40601
   Posted 6/13/2008 7:46 PM (GMT -7)   
I went through a jealousy thing when I was young because my bf at that time was jealous of me. It started out as a 'see how it feels' type thing and then turned into real jealousy. That was our main problem. Finally I couldn't take it anymore and decided that if he was mine, he was mine. If he wasn't then it would be up to me on how I much I wanted the relationship. Eventually I wasn't jealous anymore. So I always gave him that benefit of a doubt. After that it wasn't even an issue anymore.

But I did find out that the reason he was jealous of me was because he was doing things himself. So my instincts were right, but I was suffering with the jealous feelings. I dealt with the feelings and the rest worked it's way out.

I hope that this helps some

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Lost Kate
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 6/15/2008 9:58 PM (GMT -7)   

Thank You very much... I hope this works for me... I just feel like hes doing something, but he always reassures me that he would never do that and then sometimes i feel like he's lying to me. But i have trust issues so i guess that is a big part of it, and he does too, because he comes from an abusive family also. So it's hard for him to fully trust me also... The thing is... We have been together for almost a year now. We keep getting into so many fights and some of them are Bad. He asked me today if i ever thought about if things would work out better between me and some other guy... i said no, but i guess he has thought about it. but he also says that he wants to be with me for the rest of his life.. so it is really confusing.. i dont know how to stop myself from wanting to talk about something that I Know would start a fight....

Thank you again,

Kate


djdaz_1985
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 6/16/2008 1:16 AM (GMT -7)   

HI Kate,

I know it is difficult to trust someone in this situation because you never know all the facts with 100% certainty. You say that you know you can trust him deep down... perhaps you could remind yourself of this when you have arguments? Failing that, you can get therapy for the events which have caused the trust issues in the first place and by working through them, then you may be able to trust your boyfriend more.

Darren


Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
 
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Lost Kate
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 6/16/2008 9:58 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you all so much for your wonderful and useful advice
it is greatly appreciated :-)
 
Kate

tigereye
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 21
   Posted 6/17/2008 12:30 PM (GMT -7)   

hi kate,ive been manageing depression for at least 20 yrs,before that in  my teens i didnt realise it but i had a social phobia and looking back i believe i had depression.it reaked havoc for years and now and again it stil tries to if i let it.its not easyand at times it nearly took me to ending my life ,especially in the earlier times when i didnt know what to do ,how to get help or the skills to cope.one thing i didnt realise was that depression can lead you to become ,very bitter ,twisted  and paranoid ,seeing the world  from a negative perpective.one thing that did help was getting a good counselor,support and when i was at my worst some antideppresents that agreed with me enough to lift my mood enough to see the world and my issues a little clearer to be able to start tackling them.however i did loss one important relationship through having depression.what i feared became a self fullfilling prophecy.i pushed him away and accused him of stuff he didnt do ,in the end he did do it and went because he was so sick of living with not me but my depression.so a lesson was learned the hard way.thankfully im  now in a happy  marriage depression still creeps up now and again but im better prepared to deal with it.C.BThelped agreat deal too in fact it changed my life (thats cognitive behaviour therapy)looking at patterns of behaviour,negative influences and changing them to a more positive outcome.i hope this helps.

        tigereye.


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40601
   Posted 6/17/2008 2:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Tigereye,

I just wanted to welcome you to Healing Well depression forum. I noticed your post and that it was the first one that you have made.

Feel free to chime in on any post and whenever you want or start one of your own. There is a wonderful group of members here and I think that you will find this to be a great place to come.

hugs, Karen...
  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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