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confusedgirl22
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 228
   Posted 6/14/2008 2:01 PM (GMT -7)   
My dad makes me feel sad. Today he was trimming bushes outside. He told me to move the cord of the electric tool he was using toward my feet. I moved part of the cord but not the whole thing. I didn't think of moving the whole thing. After I moved part of it my dad said nooo you have to move the whole cord. I felt really dumb. I felt like I should have known this. I went into the house and started crying and felt like a failure and felt retarded. Then I got a call from a lady from the Victoria Secret credit card company saying that I had a late fee. I explained to her that I never got the bill and they probably just had my school address and not my home address since I'm home now before I go to school. I explained that I had called them a month ago to change my address and it must not have saved into their system. The lady was nice and gave me credit for the late fee. My dad demanded to know who it was so I told him. He yelled at me and told me to give him my credit card so I did. He shredded it. He said I have no business buying bras with his money. I explained to him that I work but he didn't care. He said that I shouldn't be buying things from there since I probably just want to show them off to guys. I told him that's not the reason I bought bras and that I bought them because I needed them. But he didn't believe me. He told me his spirit is sick and disgusted with me. I can't stop crying.

enWayen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 6/14/2008 4:06 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi CF,

It can be really hard to have someone close be mad at you. And I really don't know how you feel, I have to admit that. It is too easy to say that you should ignore your father, or don't attach emotional value to his words, since that can just be near impossible.

One thing that for sure will work is telling people how you feel. Not only here, but also in real life if there is anyone you really trust. Talk things over with them, no matter how hard that might seem now. It will help.

I don't know how old you are, but you really should try to sort things out with your father. As a male, he might just wish the best for you, but don't understand that he is hurting you. If so, he needs to know before he can improve. If not, you could seek help from outside. Other members will know more about this, but there are people specialized in this kind of situation.

And of course you can continue to vent here, that is one thing that will help for certain.

All the very best!
Erik
Acceptance is the key

Existential depression and Insecurity

Try to keep smiling! :)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40590
   Posted 6/14/2008 6:51 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Confused,

I know that it is hard because it seems like your parents are always yelling at you. But in two months you will be going back to school full time and in Florida...

Actually we can't blame other people for the way we feel. No matter what they say. How we feel and react is up to us. But I know that is easier said than done, and it feels like your father is picking on you. But what is the worse thing right now? You will have to buy your lingerie (sp) from some where else. And pay for it with the money you earn, unless you have another credit card. But it kind of looks like your dad is trying to teach you things in a way. about how it is going to be when you have to pay for everything on your own.

Don't feel stupid just because you didn't understand your dad, and he probably didn't realize that he made you feel bad. Maybe he was just talking like a guy. Anyway... How do you like your job? Let us know, okay? I am so curious. I bet it is nice to be able to earn money. I am also excited about you going back to Florida. I bet that you are too. Let us know that too.

Hugs, Karen...
  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


djdaz_1985
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 6/14/2008 11:51 PM (GMT -7)   

Hiya,

Your dad doesnt sound like a very nice person at the moment, but I am sure he loves you. Sometimes people can over-react to things and then appologise... although from what you have said of your father to us previously, I dont think he will appologise. He doesnt have any right to talk to you like that and maybe you need to consider taking a stand against him. I know its hard but your of an age where he should not be talking to you like that. Also, as Karen has said, you will be in Florida before you know it and things will be better then.

Darren


Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
 
"A gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if your not enough without it, you will never be enough with it." - Irvine Blitzer (John Candy) in Cool Runnings
 
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confusedgirl22
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 228
   Posted 6/15/2008 11:41 AM (GMT -7)   
I like my job. I'm excited to go back to FL. I know what you're saying.. it's my responsibility for how I feel but it's so hard if someone so close to me puts me down.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40590
   Posted 6/15/2008 11:48 AM (GMT -7)   
I know it is. My mom use to be like that, but I spent so many years feeling bad about myself because of it. She really hurt me when I was growing up. Made my way of thinking all wrong. So don't feel bad about not knowing what he wanted. And try not to let his words hurt you. I know that you are going to be so much more happy when you get out of that house. Hopefully work helps with that.

I hope that you stop feeling sad soon. Try not to let him get to you.

Luv and hugs, Karen...
  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


confusedgirl22
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 228
   Posted 6/15/2008 12:17 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Karen. My parents called me overweight yesterday just because I ate half a brownie. I'm 5'5 and 145 lbs. I'm in the normal range. I cried because I was hurt by what they said. I will try to not let what they said get to me. Thanks.

djdaz_1985
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 6/15/2008 12:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Please dont allow your father to make you feel this way. It is wrong that he should be able to do that. I think if you were to stand up to him, he may start treating you differently as it may change his perspective. Just a thought

Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
 
"A gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if your not enough without it, you will never be enough with it." - Irvine Blitzer (John Candy) in Cool Runnings
 
Moderator - Epilepsy Forum
Co-Moderator - Depression Forum
 
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
 


MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 7/1/2008 4:43 PM (GMT -7)   
When people do this it is verbal abuse.

Shredding your credit card is economic abuse.

When you get back to school please call for a new card.

Last, please do not be ashamed that you cried for you are in a fragile state right now. I do not know how to help you, but I do want to.
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease
We will find a way, or make one.-Hannibal (crossing the Alps in the 15th Century on war elephants) 
Make sure your suffering has meaning...-?
All suggestions/options/opinions are caveated with please consult with your local health care provider...


confusedgirl22
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 228
   Posted 7/1/2008 4:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you for all your responses and suggestions. MMMNAVY thanks for wanting to help! I appreciate it!
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